Question: Dear Kelley ~ I’m Sadia from Pakistan. I’ve read your column on Bridgett’s site. I like it. I would be grateful if you would help me out. My d.o.b is 13th Jan 1985. I’m going through a lot in life. I lost my dad 7 years back. At the age of about 11 I found out that I was adopted. There’s a guy who I’ve been with for about 4 years. We fell in love, but there were a lot of family issues involved. He had to marry another girl. I was kinda devastated but didn’t show it. In fact I encouraged him to marry her. Now the situation is that things are not going well – they fight a lot. There are compatibility problems that may lead to divorce. I want to know is there any chance for us to get back together, as we still love each other but don’t show it. Will wait for your reply. Thanx~ Sadia

Thank you for your note, Sadia. When I ask to see your relationship to this man, I see 3 masculine relationships in your life all tangled up. I see an aspect of you with a cord coming from your solar plexus up into the sky, attached to three different men who are very comfortable and benevolent masculine archetypes for you. Two of those archetypes are paternal and one of them is this man. The image is of you standing on the ground with these three male “spirit kites” connected to you, but so tangled together that none of them can fly. It feels as though you were very close to your father, and a great deal of your security was in him and not in yourself. As a result of that, you haven’t let him go since his death, so that he can transition to the next part of his path, or so that you can transition into the next part of yours. This reluctance to let him go and develop your own masculine “fatherly” side has presented a stagnation in connecting with other males in your life–lovers, friends, family…. I work with the cords a bit until each separates into its own cord connected to you. Two of the kites disappear, until you are left only with a cord connecting you to your father. The aspect of you voluntarily cuts the cord to him, and your father passes on to Spirit very peacefully. As he does, your aspect is so happy that she dances. Your father is still with you as a spiritual guide, there to help you stand on your own.

My feeling about this man is that you can choose to pursue him, but that given releasing your father’s spirit and as a result balancing out how you give and receive masculine energy with other males in your life, you will find this man to be a great deal more needy and clingy than what you really want in a lover. Your sense of him will change. He seems to need a lot of healing and balancing of his own energy, especially after the dissolution of his marriage. He will be very egocentric in working out his feelings of low self-worth, and in discerning the need to stand in his own truth regarding what he really wants in life. He may even be hostile towards you. My feeling is that you will be quickly (or already are) over this guy, and the more comfy you feel being your own masculine stability will tire of his inconsistency. Be careful of catering to the habit of need, when what you truly want is balanced love.

Be well, Sadia.