A weekly dose of dauntlessly dealt reality from the What It Is Wednesday Blog Carnival…
Everyone always assumes that all intuitives are empaths, or at least they never question that there’s a difference between intuitives and empaths. Intuitives have the ability to know things through other channels than the five senses. Empaths feel other peoples’ feelings, or have the ability to imagine another person’s feelings. Intuitives can read an oracle to pull together insights about a life dynamic, while an empath feels how you feel about that dynamic. Some empaths are intuitives and vice versa, though each slice of awareness can exist without the other. IMO, ideally someone working professionally as an intuitive is both.
Why does it matter? I’m glad you asked.
A few months back, I spontaneously worked with an intuitive, which wasn’t the smartest thing I’ve ever done. To set the stage for this session, I held an intention in mind without speaking it aloud, and the intuitive drew cards based on that unspoken intention. There was no discussion about where I was in life, what needs I had, how I felt… We just dove right in. The results were very harsh insights, delivered to me without so much as batting an eye. The result left me feeling extremely uprooted and unnecessarily challenged. I’m down for hearing how it is–or I wouldn’t have engaged the lady to start with. However, the manner in which she delivered her message is what I found problematic.
Don’t misunderstand. When I do divination for someone, I don’t sugar coat the hard-to-speak truths, though I always take the time to do an intake interview and figure out where s/he is in life, what s/he really wants to get out of the session. I don’t censor the information, though understanding more about the person helps me deliver it in a way that s/he can hear it in a way that is relatable and inspires confidence. I make sure that I have a means of helping the client process that information and have an action plan in place for how to proceed in live, after. That set up is exactly why I stopped focusing on single sessions and more on mentoring in my shamanic work. I have no interest in stirring up clients, just to turn them loose in their lives more stressed out than they arrived on my doorstep.
No such preparation or afterthought was given to me in this session. I walked away from it reeling and entirely aware that this intuitive had no idea who was sitting in the chair across from her, how she’d walked through my being and intentionally plowed through. She didn’t take the time to. Moreover, her attitude during the session was like she was doing me a favor.
I understand that despite the shaking off of the sketchiness that the Psychic Friends left on the profession of divination well into the mid-nineties, it’s not a profession driven to provide care. By and large, intuitives just relay intel from other layers of being, and they have no desire to do more than that. To me, that’s the difference between someone who is an intuitive and someone who is a shaman. A shaman doesn’t just divine Otherly info; s/he also helps the client to process that info and find a workable means of integrating that insight into everyday life, immediately and ongoing. Part of the ability to do that well employs empathy, or having learned to thrive beyond the wound. This added layer of awareness and care stems from the discipline and commitment of the wounded healer.
This experience reiterated that most intuitive practitioners of any modality have no formal training in counseling, let alone ethics. Given that, there’s no assumed boundary or professional discipline pointing to such. Even many modern shamans can’t provide this extension in their services. Part of my Masters included specific training in both counseling and ethics, and I wish other intuitive professionals would seek out such training. I’ve witnessed time and again intuitives who tactlessly deliver sensitive insights blunted only with ego.
This interaction was a great reminder why I don’t allow just anyone to do intuitive work on me, why I don’t accept or do divination (or healing work) on-the-fly, and why I won’t do any of the above again. It also underscored the reasons for why I work with others over time and not just in isolated sessions.
What about you? Have you ever worked with someone who dealt you more than you asked for, then left the mess in your lap to sort out? How did you handle it? How did it change how you seek out intuitive work, after?
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Yes, this strikes a chord. I’ve been very fortunate to have had so many truly gifted intuitive in my life and the ability to tell which ones are not gifted straight away, but some of the most gifted have been rather aggressive and judgmental. They all speak through their filters, see through their own filters. I’ve had some get mad at me for being taken aback by bad news and tell me how it’s for the best anyway and not take grief into account. Someone told me a while back that I should never leave a reading feeling uprooted (paraphrasing) and upset but knowing the potential for bad stuff but feeling sure-footed because I now had the tools to defend myself.
The tools part is true. I give props for a smashing delivery, to boot!
I had a woman do a reading for me back in abut 2007-2008, at my home. She kept answering her phone. I thought it was ignorant. I was paying her too. I had questions she didn’t answrr. Shortly after that I started reading the Tarot myself and studing it. I can’t read for myself because I become too emotionally involved. So I let others read for me on a Tarot forum. Some explain in detail and others no. Some will take out the time to give suggestions. I also try to give an in depth reading with helpful suggestions. I don’t charge for my readings. I feel it is a gift and should be used cautiously. Although, my readings are very indepeth, I should probably charge a little something.
I had a woman want to charge me $80 for a reading. A basically said in a nice way to get lost.
I don’t feel intuitive work should be done without empathy. I feel they both go together.