Time really does fly.
I first began facilitating soul healing with others in October of 1998. This, after what seemed like an eternity of dragging my heels to that calling. I intended to be end-user, only. I had sought healing for myself from a local shaman–my first mentor. The next six months of torment with my guides changed that narrative, and I learned that when you gain wisdom, it’s not yours. It’s everybody’s. So Soul Intent Arts became, in January of 2000.
I’ve learned a lot in the last twenty years, and I’d like to share some of that with you. Some of it I already knew, I just couldn’t internalize it or find a community to support me in it. Most of what I learned is the exact opposite of what I thought I knew. And the rest I never saw coming.
You know how the old stories of fire in the head talk about being chased by the spirits unless or until you commit to working with them? I thought that haunting madness was bullshit (or bullshrimp, as my daughter says). In all my spirit encounters, I’d never met one that shoved any path down my throat. I still haven’t. And I truthfully admit I have never once turned welcomingly toward a soul tap on the shoulder. Still, I can tell you with certainty that while how you engage Spirit Allies will always be your choice, you will haunt yourself until you make the life choices that align with who you really are. The end.
I thought that because we live in this fast-paced modern world that we could initiate more quickly than the decades-long initiations of yore. That one is a yes and no. We are capable of assimilating more information, and more quickly than our Ancestors. However, we can’t speed up the initiations that have to accompany that information. Information is not transformation. We can skip nothing. It takes the time it takes.
I thought I could be neutral about traditional shamanism and the title ‘shaman.’ I intentionally sought not to cause harm in my own actions, though didn’t actively do anything to improve the plight of marginalized cultures. As you know, I’ve never supported who and how modern shamanism was brought to the west. I recognized quickly into my studies that the way it came here was and still is disrespectful to indigenous people. It’s disrespectful to Nature and our own Ancestors (yes, I’m talking to you, fellow white people). As a result, I didn’t work with those teachers. I drifted over a decade without community, and through ‘love and light’ shiny diva Reiki.
Now, I am not ambivalent about any of it, and I realize I can stand in the truth of my own path and lineage, without hurting others, and by doing so advocate for traditional pathsand marginalized groups. The result of this is I will not call myself a shaman, and my soul work will benefit All, or I won’t do it. I’ve long felt it’s not my title, and I’m reflecting this through Soul Intent Arts. And I’m okay with not having a word native to my own path. I’m okay with there being no word.
I thought love and light was bullshrimp. I said so openly and got rations of shrimp for it. Now, decades after the empty void and cracks with entire systems falling through, people see that real love and light requires community and action to root. It requires messy people-engagement. It requires showing up for your comnunities, repeatedly. It requires remaining teachable. Allies aren’t allies until they show up. It can’t be done passively. And now, so many are showing up.
In all these years, I haven’t created myself as a called spirit walker, perfectly. I’ve screwed up. I have made people angry along my path. I’ve frustrated and challenged them. I have (frustrated and) challenged myself, and I’ve done it out loud, publicly through fourteen years of Intentional Insights. Those ancient blog posts still get lots of readership, and embarrassing as they are, I will never delete them. I have people ask me on a regular basis how x-outmoded subject matter works, in reference to a relic post. I tell them that it doesn’t. I talk to them based on now. I refuse to pretend that I didn’t stumble, and that you didn’t see it. I refuse to pretend everything is fine in my life only to passively project that it should be also in yours–or that you should likewise pretend.
It’s not fine. it’s not beeen fine, for a while, and so many of you have been wonderfully supportive.
Through all of it, thank you. Thank you, Patreon community, for showing up for me, so that I can show up more. Thank you to my students, clients, mentees, and Initiates. I honor your trust and remain ever humbled by your paths. Thank you to the runes, for being That Voice. Thank you to my family for letting me be me. Thank you, The Weekly Rune, whom I
should have trusted sooner. Thank you What in the Wyrd, for believing in my voice. Thank you to Soul Intent Arts, the spirit I’ve never questioned. Thank you to my Spirit Allies for the tough love and guidance in how to be here. Thank you to my Ancestors for bringing in the full picture. Thank you to the Nature Spirits of eastern North Carolina, for ever being my grounded way.
And most of all, I’m thankful to myself, for trusting my process, for learning to be kind to myself, and for remaining teachable.