Kelley, What was my mom trying to tell me when she appeared beside my bed while I was sleeping in September 2009? My wife saw her but was too scared to wake me. Thanks, Joe

Thanks for your note, Joe. Your mother does “drive-bys” quite often to check on you. She feels very at peace but hasn’t disengaged from this plane as much as she needs to. She is concerned for you. She doesn’t feel that you are moving on well, energetically, from changes in your family dynamic. Emotionally, yes, but not energetically, and that is leaving her feeling a bit heavy. I see what looks like a fairly large bur stuck in the train of the gown she wears. To me this indicates something keeping her uncomfortably rooted in this plane, when it’s not her soul’s Nature to be. It’s small, yet a symbol of worry.

Around that I feel hesitance on your part to step into being Patriarch. Our life force is made up of two parts—one comes from the Universe, and the other comes from our parents. When parents die, their shared life force moves completely into us. The death rites of western culture don’t allow for this life force to be redistributed. That it is not dealt with creates problems for all involved. This lack affects the deceased by not being able to move on, and it affects living loved ones by prolonging their grief or creating a sense of not being able to move forward without understanding the reason for feeling stuck. The latter feels more accurate for you, but this not being able to move forward is because you sense that someone else should be in the role of Patriarch, rather than yourself. In reality, the person who should be is not capable, and despite you not being the next in line by age or feeling you are too young to usurp that role, energetically speaking, it’s you. That life force is waiting for you to pick it up and find your balance with its mantle.

Again, this is not an emotional disjoint. The ripple is due to no one picking up the etheric reins, so to speak, and it affects the whole family. Just as tribal cultures have rites for the unique life force of the deceased to be returned to All That Is, they have rites for the loved ones left behind to step into that rooted pool of sacred lineage. Realizing that it is you will trigger a psychological acceptance of that energy. Feeling what being the Benevolent Father means to you is energetic acceptance of that role. Part of you taking the step into Patriarch is developing an understanding of how you will later transmit this life force to your successor. You do not have to be a biological (or otherwise) father to bring in your parents’ shared life force; however, it is a symbolic step that we must all take in our own evolution, regardless.

While growing into that role will give your mother peace, she will still visit. Have your wife work on her fear of such. It was no accident that she saw your mother and not you. There’s great intuitive connectivity for your wife when she’s ready to hold it. For you, there is a deep, personal knowing that your family, on all sides of the veil, is well.