Hello Kelley, I am 44 years old and I just reunited with the father of my 2 teenage daughters. We divorced in 1989 after 4 turbulent years of marriage and he quickly remarried when he got another woman pregnant. Two years ago, he came to me and let me know that he had never stopped loving me and had, in fact, been unable to love his current wife adequately as a result. He stated that his marriage to her had been a 12-year sham and he wanted me back in his life. During those years, he treated me pretty poorly as if he hated me. After 2 years of “negotiating” the terms of a new relationship between us, we signed a common law marriage agreement and got a house together. We celebrated our reunion by taking our 2 daughters to London for a Christmas celebration. Everything was going wonderfully until we got to London, where he acted horribly the whole trip, ruined it for everyone, and blamed it on me. We got home on Dec 23, and by Christmas Day he packed all his clothes and walked out on the family. He returned the next day, demanding that I move out and stating that he was no longer interested in a relationship. He has suddenly resurrected all the old patterns that drove us apart before. I believe that leaving the relationship is in order and I seek understanding that will allow me to either go or stay with compassion, rather than hatred and bitterness. Thank you, Melissa
Hi Melissa. Thank you for your kind words. My understanding from your spirit guides is that you had a relationship with this man in the past, and a lot of his issues stem from even before that past. But in this past, which you shared with him, he committed suicide, and you carry a lot of guilt leftover from the dynamic in that life. He is still perpetuating a cycle of self-destruction in this life, and you have still carried your guilt from the other life experience, compounded by events that have occurred in this life to turn that screw even tighter. That is the context I am shown for the basic premise of energy between you.
The next moment I am moved to is the death point of you in that past life. She hesitates at the point that she “should” naturally crossover. I ask her the reason for her hesitation, and she tells me that it’s her fault that he killed himself. I ask her what makes her think that, and she recounts to me how she had an affair, which badly hurt him, and drove him over the edge. She is oblivious to his choice in how he dealt with his pain. I ask her how she dealt with her guilt over having the affair and his suicide at the point of death when it actually occurred. She tells me that she was born into human form again to find him and make it up to him. the thing is, her heart wasn’t really in it. Her motives were based in guilt, and not true desire to elevate this relationship higher, or to be true to herself. this aspect of you realizes this now, but she did not at the time. As we stand at that point of her death now, I ask her what choice she is going to make this time. She tells me that she needs to move on in her spiritual path, and *if* she can help him, it will be from a spiritual realm, and not in the dichotomy of the Earth plane. She is very grateful for the opportunity you have given her to pause and change the direction in her part of your life path. To that end, she moves on to Spirit, guilt-free, no less. She is holding her power well, which means that you are, as well.
I see this shift in her moving on (essentially ending the karmic pattern you have been feeling with him) as a bit disorienting to you, in your present, at first. You have had strong energetic, and in some ways, cellular, ties to this man. Having carried guilt over lifetimes has weakened your immune system some, and your energetic body. Be gentle with yourself. For one, you have been through enough with this guy already, that you deserve to just take a few days to yourself and energetically regroup. I see work being really hectic for you right now, and not helpful in that regard. Things that you normally take in stride are a bit more challenging, until you can redistribute your energy in a pattern that is based in the present, and functional to where you are on your path NOW. It also feels like you may even come to have LESS feelings for this man now, and not be so connected to his actions, his words, or the drama of breakup. In reality, you’ve done this a few times already with him, and not just in this life. But this detachment I see in you is not from having been worn down, but from true genuine “objectivity.” I’m not saying that you don’t have opinions or feelings about what has led up to your present, but they just aren’t going to have the hold over you that they have prior. To that end, I don’t see bitterness or hatred looming largely for you. You are aware enough of your own process to be able to let those last few tugs of those feelings pass through without them getting trapped..
You are a wise woman, with powerful allies. That you can have gone through this experience with this man and want to release it on a high level speaks well to who you are and what you are capable of. Be well, Melissa.