Kelley, I had a dream that a card was given to me by a man I know, and it said “To my wife.” I have also dreamed about this man before, almost a year ago, and he was lying beside me, looking at me with such love. The feeling when I woke up was so good, but I am married. What does this mean? Thank you, C.

Thanks for your note, C. This man mirrors a facet of your masculine self that your higher consciousness is indicating wants attention. I don’t feel that the man in your dreams is readily connected with the man, as you know him in waking, at all. Rather, there is a discrepancy between the masculine as you experience it in the world, and how you experience it in your dreaming, higher state. When I say dreaming, I don’t mean made up, idealized, or all in your head. I mean your inner landscape, your personal mythology, symbols, archetypes. Where this discrepancy creates conflict for you is that you like the inner masculine better than the one you experience in the world around you, and rightfully so. I feel that difference, and I don’t blame you for wanting some better one bit. Your higher awareness is sending you dream images of a benevolent, balanced, compassionate man because that is what you crave in waking. You need to have that lovely, grounded masculine that you experience internally to manifest in the world around you. This doesn’t just mean you need this in your life partner, but in your relationship to Masculine, as a concept. I don’t see that your marriage is in trouble, though you have reached a point in your personal growth and awareness that needs a masculine complement. Now is a good time to speak your new relationship needs, and to determine if your relationship can meet them. It may be that expanding your circle to like-minded others for regular social engagement takes some of that pressure off your relationship.

Tao, Yin and Yang

Tao, Yin and Yang

Your need for this nurturing masculine to manifest isn’t going to go away. Clear out any unsupportive, outmoded concepts that you have regarding the masculine, on all levels–husband, brother, father, son, Divine Masculine… Hold in thought regularly through the day how good this internal masculine leaves you feeling, and allow space in your life and beliefs for it to come to you in form. The ability to hold onto good feelings is what brings them into being.

This need is not just about your personal life, but how you react to a general climate of cultural misogyny and gender bias that you can no longer carry inside or foster outside. It’s been challenging you for some time now in your spiritual path and wider family dynamic. There is a call to be more on the outside what you feel on the inside. Remember that you are completely, thoroughly supported to be exactly who you are.