Kelley I have so enjoyed reading your deep and inspirational insights that I seek them, myself. I have reached a life goal, in that I can finally support myself by doing what I love. My eldest child has a three-year-old and a four-month-old, whom I am adore. I love being a Grandmother yet I feel tied down, watching them while she works. She seeks a full time job and she wants me to babysit. I love these kids so much. I wish my daughter could stay home with them and I could help by just filling in, but she says she will never improve her life if she doesn’t start a career now. Am I just being selfish and getting my priorities wrong by not placing the children before my dreams? I want to do the right thing, not something I will regret. Thank you, Trendle.
Thanks for your kinds words and inquiry, Trendle. When I call in the lightbeings who lovingly support you as well as the aspects of yourself who may speak, your High Self comes and does something peculiar. In the sand circle surrounding us, she draws a tiny square then a line out from it, which connects another tiny square to another line, to another tiny square… She does this until the entire circle holding about a hundred beings is filled with connected tiny squares. I realize that she is telling me that you have followed the signals of your life. You have allowed yourself to flow from one point of opportunity to another and have benefited from each point, as well as from allowing the intuition of rightful action. Starting with the first square that your High Self drew, I step to the second, then the third, until I trace the entire labyrinth to its end. When I come to the very last square I find myself standing at the edge of the sand circle, staring into the dark forest.
You can’t turn back. Whatever is in the forest–adventure, hard work, enlightenment, briers–is yours to pursue. There is nowhere else to go, and you can’t stand still. It’s not your nature to stand still. And for right now in your life, watching your grandchildren fulltime would be exactly that. Your grandchildren won’t prosper if you aren’t following your bliss. Likewise, they won’t flourish if their mother isn’t. Your daughter has a dependence on you, and she won’t initially respond well to having to cultivate her own intuitive navigation. The thing is, despite that your keen ability to trust your steps has shielded her somewhat, she was watching your every move, just as her kids watch you both now. Stand in your power and assert your need that she make other childcare arrangements, and she will eventually stand in her power, too. She knows how to connect the squares and lines of her own path, she just doesn’t believe that she can do it on her own. She lacks your confidence, and she won’t find it under your wing.
Part of your daughter’s transition into motherhood is also the bold step into matriarchy–the willing acknowledgment that she will eventually be your family’s wise woman. There must be someone for you to give your wisdom to, someone who can carry that mantle as well as master the range of skills needed to be matriarch of the family. Your daughter will not acquire this wisdom without stretching, a lot. You know that she is capable, but she has to believe that she is. She will need encouragement, but set your emotional and logistic boundaries for what you can give and dedicate your energy to thriving on your path. Let her know that you need her to support where you are in your life, as well.
You can and will watch the children, though it can’t be your full obligation to do so. Approach stepping away with gratitude to your daughter, thankfulness that they are in your life and that you are allowed such precious moments. Know that you are not leaving her in a bind, but that by taking command of your own destiny, you are giving her the room to do the same. All of your lives will blossom with new life because of the changes you undertake to stand in your authentic self.
Be well, Trendle.