Question:  Kelley,
For the past year and half, I have been in off-again-on-again relationship.  I am a Leo Woman, he is an Aries Man. We have some good earth elements that help us with all the fire.  This man has a problem with commitment, and has never married even at 44 years.  He says he wants to.  We run hot and cold, and I have emotionally moved on.  But yet he continues to try and come back. There is a huge connection between us.  Can you see anything in his natal chart, or our composite report. Thanks, Cathy in Atlanta

When I ask to see the soul manifestation of this relationship, I am shown both of you as children, him riding a carousel and you standing to the side watching him go round.  The feeling I have about this scene relating to the present dynamic between you is he is having a lot of fun, savoring the moment, not projecting the future.  The child aspect of you, though, is not happy at all.  She has no interest in the carousel and is only there because she feels some danger awaits him.  She has placed herself in the position of thwarting whatever harm could come to him.  I do have a sense that the harm is a very real thing, because he is oblivious to the more grounded and fixed world around him.  He’s only seeing the lights, music and dizzying thrill of the ride.  You two are striking contrasts to each other, in that he is very ungrounded in this plane, and you are a bit too fixed in the formed realm.  Ideally you could be stabilizing agents for each other, but he is too submerged in having fun and you are too fixated on your involvement with him being romantic.  Both of these factors preclude a balanced joining in the present.  There is an old bond between you that has carried over lifetimes, and that has created soul friends of you in the spaces between lives.  That said, I feel your presence in his life isn’t about romantic involvement; rather, holding the space to create his wakeup call.  Until now you have interpreted that role as lying in wait for his downfall.  I definitely see you as anam cara to each other, the Celtic soul bond entailing that what he has not chosen to put himself in the path of for growth, you will put him there.  It’s a very ‘tough love’ connection, which is likely an even stronger testament to the soul work you do together than a romantic relationship could deliver.  The thing is, I think he has gotten very used to you holding that space and for now has no intention of getting off the carousel.  It’s become an enabling situation.  I also think it’s worthy to note this is his perspective across life, not just in terms of relationships.  It’s not about commitment for him.  He’s not a baseless user, he just is not willing to fully root into this plane and be present.  What I see being a catalyst to his growth is for you to leave the theme park.  It’s time for you to bring your energy back from him.  That deep level of support that you have been giving him for eons needs to be reallocated.  I realize you have moved on emotionally, but at an energetic or spiritual level you are still holding him up.  You need your energy back.  In a quiet meditative space, ask your High Self to extract your energy from him, to cleanse it, then return it to you for your own support.  Understand that bringing your energy back is not abandoning him, and it is not severing the deep bond between you.  If anything it is showing him more support, in that you are willing to put your needs first, and that empowerment of self strengthens every bond in your Being.

My best to you, Cathy! Be well!