My husband dreamt that we were lying down, then I lifted and floated up. He called to me and reached to pull me down, but couldn’t. There was no mention of me responding in any way. What does this dream mean? Thanks, Sally.

Thanks for your note, Sally. The way I look at dreams for others happens on several levels. First, I hold in my intention the symbols of the dream, along with any feelings they evoke. Then I hold the perspective of the consciousness creating this dream, which is in this case, that of your husband. As it is you who is asking about the dream and not him, my ability to connect with that state of his consciousness is limited, if only from a standpoint of permission.

Dream Catcher, artist unknown

Dream Catcher, artist unknown

That said, what I take from my view of this dream is that your husband experiences a great deal of his feminine power through you, rather than through himself. He relies on you to create nurture, foster growth, and feed on all levels–mundane as well as spiritual–in your relationship and household. This separation of roles on a spiritual level is the result of our culturation on mundane levels, and is very common. Our modern consciousnesses have become very detached from the understanding that each of us carries inner feminine, masculine, children, animals, song… However, when we project the strengths of ourselves externally, we become weak. Whether that is a woman seeking the masculine qualities she holds dearest in a male counterpart, the expectation that a hawk as totem will guide us to our dream job, or a man seeking mothering from a male who is very balanced in his feminine, the outcome is the same. These are all examples of investing our power in something besides ourselves.

What I see happening in your husband’s dream is that he has allowed you to embody his feminine aspect. He has given away an element of his power to you. We all fashion our internal cast of archetypal characters by the examples we see around us. At some point we must become aware of how we carry this cast. In your husband’s case, this dream signifies that on some level he realizes he needs to incorporate more feminine qualities in his self-talk, his self-care, because as you drift from him in the dream, he attempts to retain you. He is afraid to be without you because he wouldn’t have an internal feminine aspect. That puts a lot of pressure on you, which again, isn’t uncommon in our contemporary lives. While many people are flattered on an ego level by being viscerally needed, they don’t understand that the need eventually becomes a drain taking a toll on all involved. In the end, it weakens the relationship rather than strengthens it. In this case, it is imperative for your husband to cultivate aspects of the feminine divine within. If he doesn’t understand what that balance means, a recent post by Jeff Brown, Apologies to the Divine Feminine (from a warrior in transition) may be a good place to start. When we honor that Divine Feminine power exists, it becomes easier to see it within ourselves. As well, as your husband approaches middle age or if this dream is a response to approaching middle-age, this softening to the feminine will begin on its own. Mid-life is the great gender leveler, biologically and spiritually. It introduces Divine Androgyny and the qualities of that neutral state to us all.

This dream is information for you both to examine just what needs you fulfill for each other, compared to what needs you should be fulfilling for yourselves. Consider speaking with him about this and devising a ritual for bringing a balance of power back to your relationship. If you seek suggestions for such a ritual, feel free to contact me.

Be well, Sally!