Fixating on Outcomes

Over the past few years, my life has changed in several ways. I’ve been in love with a woman for several years. She knows this, and there is chemistry definitely between us. My question to you is, will she ever “be” in my life and share my life with me or will she always walk the periphery? regards, wyldorchid

Thanks for your note! I see this woman as very much a muse to you in some energetic sense. Literally, when I ask your guides about your connection to her and how it manifests now, I see her standing in a vortex, interacting with what is on this side of it, and what is on the Other side of it, feeding you inspiration, and in some respects, power from that Other place. She is in some way a channel for you to grow spiritually, but also for you to gain some ability or gift you are to do in this life. It seems to be a mutually agreed upon act, although on the surface it seems very selfless of her. She gains from it, as well, though I can not clearly see how–that’s not for me to know. The thing is, I don’t see you doing anything WITH what she brings through for you. The sense of it that I have is you are very fixated on making a particular outcome to this relationship, specifically that it be romantic. But it isn’t, at least not in the way you want it to be. I can not say for sure that it can be that, but what I see is that by fixating on her in a specific way, you are missing out on the gift she is really bringing you. In fact, focusing on the connection being romantic at this point is actually thwarting both the Other gifts she can facilitate bringing you, and a deeper connection in that relationship. When you can relax the hold on “driving” your feelings for her in a certain direction and you can flow into the space she is holding for you, you will know with clarity what the best and highest nature of this connection and relationship really is. Moreover, you will learn something very significant to why you are on the planet at this time. Be well!

Doing for Self

Hello Kelley. My name is Nanny Eliana from Singapore. I am 25 years old and I have my own public relations and design company. It is now 3 years old. I wish to see what is in store for me in the next few years. I have been working very hard and I have yet to get my big break. When will it happen? Will the company grow? Also, I was told that I would be married by the end of this year and I’m a little apprehensive about it because I don’t see it happening. Will it happen? Do let me know what you think. Thank you and may plenty of blessings come your way! Thanks Nanny Eliana,

I do not know what will happen for your company, or for your steps toward marriage. What I see happening in your life is incredible personal growth, the kind that makes external outcomes nearly impossible to pin down. In short, you are going to be able to do whatever you want to do, manifest that growth and personal power however you wish to. You are experiencing a shift, such that the drive that you have applied to developing your career and mundane life is now demanding to be focused on your internal life, your deeper wants and needs. Who are you? What is your role here? You are quite used to expending your energy externally, for everything and everyone other than yourself. In order for your deeper wants and needs to be met, that pattern has to change, such that you become the compassionate center of your life. When you manifest that power in yourself, you are going to be blown away by the wonderful events and people who come into your life. You will be blown away to fully realize the wonderfully empowered woman you have always been.
Be well, Nanny Eliana!

Spirit Visitors and a House Full of Intuitives

Life has always been a challenge for me. I am a single mom raising two boys. My oldest son is on the verge of flunking 7th grade. It seems that no matter how hard I try to be the glue that sticks us together I am never enough. I work full time and commute 3 hours a day, which doesn’t leave me much time for being a mom. My real dream is to stay at home but being single, that seems like a virtual impossibility. My parents have been taking care of my kids while I work all of these years. I feel my mother is on her way out and I need to be thinking of a plan to help my father and keep taking care of my kids somehow. Also, I recently had a Reiki Master say that someone was around me for a while that had died in the 40s, whom I believe was my Uncle Ben. My home has been a hot bed for paranormal activity and this uncle has been on my mind. This Reiki Master seemed to think that my Uncle Ben has contributed to some of the unexplained activity in my home. I am having a difficult time understanding why the surgence in paranormal activity and this sense that something horrible and lifechanging is going to happen. Please help… Running Scared

Running Scared, I can see why your stress level is so high–you have a lot going on in and around you. There are several things coming from your note that I wish to comment on. First, as I’m sure you have sensed, the level of stress under which you are living does make you more susceptible to intrusions of a spiritual nature. You are being pulled in so many directions at once, it’s hard to take the time to ground, which you definitely need to do. The more centered you are, the less likely it is that other influences affect your own life force. On that note, if your Reiki practitioner or someone who does shamanic work can help you clear out any spiritual attachments overburdening you right now, as well as in your home and possibly in your sons, go for it. Get all the support you can in clearing the space of unwanted “strings”, and have the energy worker bring positive forces into you and your home. Doing BOTH parts of that process are very important: clearing, then bringing in healing light forces. Once you have this foundation, make it a daily practice to honor it. Your intuitive world is going to open leaps and bounds!

Another factor here is that you are a sensitive person. Most people do not have the external experiences that you are describing, and definitely not the internal ones. You truly can’t just walk away from gifts like that. The Universe will keep tapping you on the shoulder with bumps in the night until you delve further in to your abilities and learn what they are and how they benefit us all. In your prayers, meditation, or personal method of honoring Self and All, ask for that opening and acceptance to occur in you, that your gifts manifest, and that the teachers come who can best help you know how to use them. There is a great emphasis on faith in this transition for you, and releasing your fear to embrace your power will be significant in this process.

Something else that strikes me here is that you are raising 2 very special children on your own. Particularly the eldest may be considered an Indigo Child, and your youngest is definitely in the age range of a Crystal Child. If you are not familiar with these terms, definitely do some research. Both of your children are exceptionally gifted, and this is in part why the eldest is not doing well in traditional school. It truly does not suit his spiritual resonance, and he is torn between wanting to perform well on this mundane level, and needing to feed his own soul’s growth. For now he feels these two worlds as if in conflict with each other, posing a significant challenge to his soul’s growth.

Something else to keep in mind is that the energy on this planet is shifting. We are quickly moving toward a new consciousness on this planet, and the discomfort you are feeling about your life now is a reflection of that. You are being called to grow. This is the time to truly create the space to give thanks for the wonderful things in your life. It is from that same space that the things you perceive yourself as not having will emerge. You have three incredibly powerful and sensitive people living under one roof, that are each in their own way going through this same shift. You are all sensitives being called to do some kind of higher consciousness work, and trying to find your way with that. It will not be an easy shift, but it will be the one that brings you the peace you are seeking, as well as the answers. Be well!

Desparation and Distrust

Kelley, will I get an important message, or a boyfriend anytime soon? Will I get a message from a celebrity? Is there an untrustworthy person around me in my everyday life? Please help me, I’m desperate. ~Hannah

Hannah, Your desperation is noted. The distrust seems to be internal, manifesting as self-doubt. Without that grounding in yourself, wonderful supportive things can not manifest externally. Instead, the outside world becomes a mirror reflecting your own self-doubt by way of shadowy relationships, shifty interactions both personal and impersonal, maybe even professional. If your desperation feels rooted in this kind of draining murky cyclic energy, rather than in confident light, consider taking up some meditation practices that focus on allowing you to draw your power into yourself, into your physical form. Look into yoga. Do some reading on the power to create your own reality and thought manifestation. Just putting yourself in this kind of positive light will raise your self-confidence and attract the kind of people and beneficial situations that you truly want in life.
Be well, Hannah!

Soul Relationships in the Mundane

Kelley, I had a [platonic] friend that I was very close to for years. I knew him before he decided to get married. He always knew he loved me but it wasn’t until last year I realized that I was truly in love with him. As a result, I ended our friendship because he was married to another woman and they were about to have their second baby. Regardless, within the past four months I have occasional dreams that are very vivid. In the first one he was at the front of a church standing with a priest. I was in the back in a white dress and I could see the whole church. In the next dream he was at the front with the priest, my best friend was my maid of honor and my uncle was giving me away. What does this mean? It has been very hard removing him from my life but does this mean he will be coming back? What do I do? Do you have any insight or advice? Thank you. Cathleen J

Holding_Hands_shadow_on_sandCathleen, It seems to me that this man never left your life–spiritually. You are and perhaps always have been joined with him in a very High way. There are many ways to be spiritually connected to someone, to be “soulmates”. Romantic intimate involvement is merely one of them. These bonds most often manifest as relationships in which we are being challenged to grow, feel led to teach and/or be taught. Western culture has shaped our perception of these soul relationships such that we tend to think they are all supposed to equate to longterm romantic interludes. However, some may be quite short-lived to aid us through a specific period of life, or to teach a specific lesson. The connections are eternal, however, the actual presence of the person in our waking lives may be profoundly brief. And yes, you may have many such soulmates along the way, and you may also have one (or more) that presents a long term sharing of paths.

It is difficult to define the exact relationship that you have to this man without speaking with you further. Even then, it may not be easy to define, but clarifies only after exploring your own soul’s choices. My sense is that you are very spiritually connected to this man, but you have not been at the same level of growth for that relationship to manifest in an ongoing daily commitment. That doesn’t mean that the bond is less, or that the teaching and love from this relationship has been lost. It does mean that you will have to expand your understanding of spiritual relatedness for the benefit of this experience to fully come forward. As well, the current status of your relationship doesn’t mean that you will never be together in a romantic sense, but it definitely indicates that is not the highest way to experience life at this time. This feels strong to me in the vision of only one of you at a time being at the altar.

I encourage you to explore what you have learned deep within yourself from having known this person in this plane, and perhaps Beyond. I have the feeling that when you can release the earthly emotional attachments you have to him about not being with him in a romantic sense and gain more insight into your own soul’s journey, the spiritual bond supporting this relationship will truly manifest, and you will find the peace you are seeking. For when you experience that bond, how you interact with him in the mundane will not be your center of focus anymore. The truth of your soul’s journey will be. Be well, Cathleen!

Recurring Dreams

I am writing you for someone else. This comes from Ziona, a 70-year-old Gemini Israeli woman. Her question concerns three recurring dreams: The first one was a constant during her 20’s, 30’s and 40’s: She dreamt of waking up late, rushing out of her apartment, dashing down a bustling big city street, then suddenly realizing that she forgot to put her clothes on. At that point, she does her best to hide behind poles, trash cans and other objects, but was always exposed. The dream ends there, with her feeling desperate and exposed. Her second dream has been a constant most of her life and still occurs. She dreams she is flying from tall buildings, across vast canyons, and off of mountains. She feels free and strong and proud. Often times, the dream ends there — but every now and then, her flight goes terribly wrong and she crashes into the ground. Her body convulses and she wakes up with her heart pounding. What do these mean? Ziona

Recurring dreams are powerful, aren’t they?! They certainly are attention-getters, which is exactly what these dreams are demanding of you. My sense of your initial recurring dream is that there is something in life you want badly and hold yourself back from. Reading your second recurring dream indicates that to me even more strongly, more personally. There is no doubt to me in your sense of self and Universes that you are a powerful woman, yet there is an aspect of your path that you have consciously neglected to take. You have an ability that you are fully aware of, but have chosen not to cultivate. Your ability to glide into life and appreciate its beauty is remarkable; however, your ability to willfully direct your flight and create beauty with your abilities is even stronger. You were not made to simply glide and observe. You were made to interact. What is the path of flight you really want to take? Everything you need is already in place to soar on your path, except for your choice to do so. When you commit to and take that path, there will be no need to crash, and you will have broken the need for the recurrance of these dreams. After that point, your dream landscape will open and point you in greater direction to grow. Be well, Ziona!

Soul Stealing and New Residents

Dear Kelley, You have a tremendous gift and I am always amazed to see how you bring to light those things that we are unable to see for ourselves. I consider myself to be a somewhat spiritual person and have sensed an unpleasant energy near me. Thankfully, I believe it’s no longer in my field. Would you happen to have any additional insight into this? Also, for a while now, I have been trying to understand certain behaviors that have been holding me back from achieving my best. I would like to tap into my strengths more and work with my weaknesses, but I’m not even certain that I know what these are anymore. Cheers, C.

Hi C. Thank you for your note. When I initially called for your guides, I saw you having an altercation with not just one entity in the past, but a group of them, all at once. An aspect of your soul was deliberately taken in this experience, and there was very much a secret society air about it, if not ritualistic. Not only was part of your soul stolen, but a powerful unkind entity remained in its place. To clarify, two distinct things occurred in this experience: soul separation (stealing, in this case), and entity attachment, or “possession,” to give it a more mainstream term. I am not told why this exchange occurred.

The attachment carried with it a very subtle energy of wearing you down from the inside, a draining element of self-harm, nothing dramatic or even externally noticeable. Any attachment detracts from one’s power. What makes this one a bit unique is that its sole purpose was to keep you from your power, by way of indecisiveness and a keen feeling of not being able to truly close events and experiences in your life. You do not have that attachment with you anymore, and after having witnessed its full departure, I see that you are doing fairly well. There is need of doing some conscientious healing around all of this, however. I see some habits of mild insecurity, which you picked up while the entity was there, remain. These are not overt in any way, or even necessarily actions you carry out on a daily basis. They are more beliefs, residuals that you hold in your etheric body that need to be released on a cellular level for this healing to take you to the next level of growth. That is one part of what is occurring with feeling that things just aren’t coming together despite your best efforts. About the ‘missing’ soul part…

Before I get too into the details of this specific soul part, just a few words on the nature of souls, and soul separation (or loss). What we consider the soul has infinite “parts”. Those parts come and go, leaving to do work in the astral plane perhaps in the sleep state, returning to gift us with the question of “what in the world did THAT dream mean?” Soul travel is a natural occurrence. Something else that occurs in this plane is the loss of aspects of the soul when a trauma occurs. Trauma may be a car crash, a death of a loved one, assault, divorce… The definition of trauma varies by individual. In the case of soul stealing, a soul part is taken knowingly by another person or entity. The soul aspect may remain separated for diverse reasons, including the need to shield one from traumatic memories (which are taken with it); the soul part has become wounded and can’t return on its own; the soul part leaves to give higher guidance from “above…” When soul separation occurs the individual in waking ceases to develop in some way. Again, the loss can manifest in diverse ways, such as chronic illness or depression, a loss of will, a harmful pattern that can’t be broken… Sometimes aspects return on their own, but it is always THEIR choice to return. One cannot force a soul part to return. Often they don’t return on their own, or need some level of facilitating in order to fully re-integrate. This point is where a shaman comes in, to gain insight into what the soul part needs to return, and how this is going to affect the person’s present.

The aspect of you that was taken was a powerful knight. This knight embodies a deep knowledge of truly right action, as well as how to act from a place of holding balance for the greater good, rather than one of defense. Somehow these abilities have been stunted for you in the knight’s absence. As I am with the knight, I feel that it is quite hunted, which manifests for you as a very low level of anxiety for which you have never been able to name the source. The source does not exist in waking, but in the fear of manifesting your best. You fear that if you succeed at something, drawing attention to yourself, an aspect of your soul will be taken again. You fear shining too brightly, which means you have feared manifesting your own power.

I send the knight up for healing, and in that process your guides become more present. Along with them come 16 shadowy souls, who are the group that originally stole the aspect from you. I hold the space for them to move up to Spirit, as well. Redemption is a good thing. This will be very important for you to keep in mind in moving forward with this healing. The soul part of the knight remains in the realm of Spirit. I do not return soul parts without the express consent of an individual, and even then, not without the consent of that person’s guides. Instead I am given a original ritual for YOU to work with this soul part. The ritual isn’t specifically returning the soul part, but a means of helping you create the space, “setting the stage” for it to return.

The ritual begins by creating sacred space and drawing a small bowl of water. Kneel before it. Through your means of prayer, affirmations, meditation to your Higher Power, your guides and All That You Are, thank all the aforementioned for the release of the entity, and the support in returning and integrating this soul part. Affirm to them and your conscious self that you are dedicating your effort to this healing, and to accepting their leadership in how to accomplish that. In doing so, dedicate the water as the symbol of this healing and commitment. Dip your hands into the water, then draw a bit of it over your face. Drink the remaining water. Observe your initial body sensations after doing this, any feelings, thoughts, memories that come up. Note them. Meditate on them as you feel led. When you have finished this, do something amazingly positive and luxuriously restful FOR YOURSELF. Take a long warm candlelit bath. Lie down and listen to some of your favorite music in the dark. Do something to draw your power back into yourself and open the space to welcome it. Observe again your feelings, sensations, thoughts…

I highly encourage you to undertake this work with the support you have around you in energy workers and shaman. I know that you have the means to do this work or your guides would not have given me a ritual for you. That does not preclude your own good insight, and making use of all the assistance you can on this journey. All the forces necessary are supporting you in returning this soul part and integrating it. Handle carefully this fear of holding your own power, then as they say, knowingly, gently set that fear aside. You’re ready to move on. Be well!

Soulmates and Divine Feminine

Dear Kelley, I have always had difficulties in romance, never seeming to find Mr. Right. Following a major health battle 10 years ago, I lost my interest in establishing a relationship, concentrating more on my own well being. This has led to a great deal of isolation. However, five years ago I began investing a great deal of time in a troubled, but joyful man. Last summer, his emotional betrayal of our friendship led to its demise. Although deeply disappointed in the loss, for me it was a wake up call and probably a blessing in disguise. Now that I’m free and healed, I’d like to know how to proceed to improve my romantic and personal life so that I can find lasting love and companionship in a soulmate relationship. Thank you for your insight. Atrium

Thank you for your note, Atrium. I have a little story to tell you. Once upon a time, there was a young woman who was a powerful sorceress, at the time when all women were powerful sorceresses and they knew it. The balance of the Divine Feminine was slipping from the planet, and Her male counterpart had become incredibly saddened by the plight of The People, the pain of His Goddess, yet realized the necessity of The People having to rebuild the balance themselves. You see, as any good active participant knows, we all appreciate more the things we’ve had to create for ourselves, than those created for us…

But this young woman wasn’t so insightful about this decline, as most of her time weren’t, and so many still aren’t. This beauty kept close the items of her magick—a jeweled dagger, a rough chunk of amethyst, several pieces of parchment with her thoughts on them, and a gold ring. It was the latter of these items that caused her the most distress, but it was the first of them which she used to carve out her grief. In what would seem an irrational fit, she gouged out the palms of her hands with the dagger, the only means she could devise of displaying her anguish, and permanently altering the seat of her power—the chakras in her palms. It was widely recognized in that time that a split among The People was occurring far more vast than merely a difference of religion, race, culture, or even gender… Yet it was that latter distinguishing feature in the “evolution” of humankind that the final and most lasting spiritual blow was dealt to our planet: the differentiation of the sexes had devolved into the basis on which not our social status was judged, but our souls. Many men of the time, due to the adjustment to living as separate and distinct sexes, had forgotten how to make their own true soul magick, and reinvented it in a very earthly based etheric rape of that of women. It wasn’t so clear cut as that, but ANYONE, male or female, who continued to uphold tenets of the Divine Feminine were subject to great punishment. The context of this tragedy pained the young sorceress beyond anything she could have imagined possible, yet she was more pained to know that her beloved fiancé had become one of those who sought to keep the Feminine from this plane.

She had tortured herself with knowing that she could not be with such a mate and be true to herself, yet knowing that he remained her soulmate whom she loved infinitely. After much soulsearching and a brief encounter with an angel, the young woman allowed herself to be taken into the realm of the Divine and be healed by the Great Spirit. Her power was restored. She no longer grieved the loss of a life spent with her soulmate. She finally understood that even in his own way, her dear lover was playing out his role in teaching humanity what it needed to learn for itself about the power in honoring the Whole Divine, creating a Whole Humanity. The young woman returned to the place of her dwelling and found that all of her riches, the strongest elements of her power that had been stolen from her in her grief, were buried in the forest. Her heart was tinged with sadness as she knew it was her lover who had stolen this power from her and hidden it, yet she was not moved to take this power back for herself. Instead, she buried it more thoroughly as a symbol of her commitment to and a gift for the Universes that she would play out her role in restoring the balance of the Divine Whole to the planet. She did not need to take this elemental power back because she had learned to source her power from a higher plane.

Atrium, you do not need to play out that role on a Universal level anymore. You have done your part in sacrificing aspects of your own personal life to a greater planetary good. The lovely young woman, a past life soul aspect of you who came to me, has been healed. That in and of itself has created a deep shift for you spiritually, even on a cellular level. This wound, which has been personal and simultaneously Universal carried over lifetimes, is gone for you. You now have the freedom within All That You Are to have deep soulful relationships. Yes, we are still as a collective healing this Original Wound. But this is the part where the Universes pay you back, by letting you know that your focus can return solely to you. To heal yourself is the greatest thing you can do for all of us at this time. It is through this healing that you can now create the space for a soulmate to enter your life. You are an incredibly gifted intuitive, and it is safe for you to be you again. Take some time to meditate on what your soul wants you to do with this newfound freedom. She will lead you toward receiving the blessings of the Universes that are rightfully yours. Be well, Atrium!

Relationship Homework

Dear Kelley, I am 41, divorced 4 years. I was only IN love once before, and he died without me ever telling him. Until 2 years ago I never had those feelings for anyone else. I met a man whom I couldn’t get out of my mind since the first hello. He is married, though a year ago we gave in to our desires and have fallen in love. He has a home life similar to the one I left. Am I waiting and believing in vain? Part of me feels like I’m dying each time he walks away, knowing he is going “home”. I need strength to let him go, or faith to hold on for what I believe would be the kind of love most people only dream of. I feel so alone…. Becky

Hi Becky, and thank you for your note. You are still very much attached to this first love who died. I don’t see this as an attachment to him, per se, but more to how wonderful YOU felt about yourself in having such a deep connection with him. This was a time in your life in which you felt more alive than ever, and you thrived in that light. Literally, aspects of you blossomed that had not experienced the right conditions to prior. When I ask your guides about this, I see you standing on an empty beach. You are the only sign of life for miles, by land, air or sea. You stand there for what seems a long time, then I see you dig up your personal effects (some of which are related to this former love) and move on to another space. This scene is very much about you moving into a space and wanting to make connections, yet you do not divulge the deeper parts of yourself. You bury them for safekeeping. The pattern is quite logical for the loss you felt when this man died. However, it is that act of holding out for the conditions to be exactly as you want them to that leaves you “taking your playthings home.” Not to suggest that you shouldn’t create the place in your life to have exactly the love you want and need, but that place has to be created by SHARING your Authentic Self, not by hoarding it until certain criteria are met. Cos in truth, holding back in any fashion in matters of love and truth is not your Authentic Self.

I really don’t see that this lull in your current relationship is due to the love interest not making a decision about what HE wants. In fact, that is a very small factor in the overall dynamic. From what I am seeing, even for this new deep love you have not fully put yourself out there, still burying your most amazing qualities. I understand your reluctance to do so given the status of things. You are waiting for him to make a move so that you can then step out as your radiant Self. You are giving up the ability (control) to just step out and be who are you to a man who cannot make that choice for himself. You and he are in your own ways not choosing to move forward in this relationship. He doesn’t want to deal with getting out of his marriage, and since the death of this other love, you have become afraid to voice true feelings, to live true intent. Regardless of your reasons, energetically, it is still holding back. The relationship, no matter how strong your feelings are for each other, will collapse under this kind of stagnancy. Someone has to make a move, and that will be you. Don’t get me wrong–no excuses for him. He has created his own karma to be dealt with in this, and in his own time he will do just that. I do see him as being your significant partner in this life. The energy between you is very balanced and complementary. I can’t tell you what he’s going to do or when, about his legal relationship, obligations or his obvious guilt about it all. What I can tell you is that you have to be willing to rise up in who you are, and live her when your hands feel most tied. You want to feel the vitality in yourself that you felt with the first love. A vast part, if not all of that elation was coming from living in the present, in your truth, even if you did not get to share it at the level that you wanted to. You have to reconnect with that precious life force, and you have to realize that you no longer have to stifle any part of who you are, or your feelings. You can say it out loud. You can give it power. You are not here to hide your True Self. Remember that we do not love on the basis of what may be, but on what is. You have to love this guy now, and not “some day” or “when”. This is something he is learning as much as you are, and your ability to rise up will be a great teacher to him. You can choose not to teach him anything; rather, you can stand in your truth and decide you can’t tolerate the current status anymore. It is an option. I encourage you to allow the lovely parts of you to come to light, no matter what the situation is with him, and see for yourself what you really want. The possibility of a loving life with him is there. Hold the love you feel for him against this amazing treasure you’ve retrieved from within yourself. Do they coexist well NOW? Do they build each other NOW? It is in that balance that you find your answers for where this relationship is going. You will have to do that homework before you know. Be well, Becky!

Emotional Submission

I am a 33-year old mother of 2 pre-teen boys. Last year my boyfriend and I ended a 3-year relationship that had included our opening a business together. He is 50 years old and we have started seeing each other again. We can’t seem to stay away from each other. When we were together I often felt that we had a connection from another life. We broke up twice in the 3 years we were together. I have to admit that I enjoy the comfort and the wooing that he surrounds me with, though at times I feel somewhat smothered by his love, which seems to be more than what I feel. I keep wondering what are we doing…I love him and he loves me but I have a rough time seeing him in my long term future. Though at the moment, the thought of a serious relationship makes me feel like I can’t breathe. He seems to be ready to wait for me. Should I just put an end to the lover part of it and keep a friendship? Also, is there a way to take some of your workshops online because I live in Canada and can’t get to you. ~E~

Thank you for your note, E. It doesn’t happen often that I see the spiritual manifestation of the object of the question, rather than the poser of the question. However, when I ask your guides for insight to share with you, I see a soul aspect of the man in question, rather than one of you. I see this aspect on his knees brushing up crumbs into a dustpan, and he’s quite intent on completing this task for someone else–it is not of his own initiative that he is doing it. However, it is your guides who give commentary on what I’m shown. They indicate that this is a very old pattern for him, submissive by means of feeling that he owes some part of himself or his service to someone. I do not know who that original someone is. The emphasis is not on the personality, but on the pattern of submission, which he has carried into the present as emotional submission/doting. That pattern of emotional submission is what is turning you off, not a lack of feeling for him. The indication I have from your guides is that if he can resolve that pattern, he will have better emotional boundaries in giving and taking, and you won’t feel smothered. When you no longer feel smothered, you will be able to respond to his authentic Self, not a karmic pattern that happens to be very triggering for you. Being lulled into the emotional comfort zone that he provides keeps you from being true to yourself, and THAT is the real point of focus. This dynamic is in a way drawing out lesser qualities in both of you. It is not the best foot forward for either of you. However, you can’t hinge your healing and growth on what he, or anyone else does, or perhaps, doesn’t do. He may never realize this pattern in his behaviour, and that’s ok. We are each on our own paths. Independent of him (or others) you have to base your healing on yourself, and stand in who you are. There is a delicate boundary between stepping into who you truly are at the cost of losing relationships around you, and realizing when someone else’s lack of being authentic interferes with *your* ability to grow. We can’t just ditch everyone who seems to move us in directions we don’t want to go, or most of us would remain perpetually alone. Ultimately our souls choose the lessons we need, and most often those lessons come in challenging relationships. Sometimes the lesson is in knowing when to step away from someone, and sometimes the lesson is in seeing how those challenging relationships foster your growth. It isn’t about him being overbearing or possibly not feeling the same for each other, but about if he can be on his unique path, and you continue to grow on yours, together. When I see a soul aspect of you, it is incredibly empowered and assured. Connect with this part of yourself. In your meditative space, ask your soul what is right for you to do in this relationship. Ask what action affirms your authentic Self, where this relationship is concerned. Because when you realize that you have everything you need within and stand in your authentic Self, the confusion about this man will resolve.

To note about my workshops and classes–I do not at this time teach them online or over distance. The techniques of journeying really require personal attention and the sacred space that results from communing souls. I do travel to do workshops, where there is a willing host to organize an event. I also do some distance work FOR others. Please feel free to email me with any inquiries, and I hope that we can meet sometime, E! Be well!