Motion, Truth, and Fun

Question:  Kelley, I am writing this note to you for B (my brother), who was in a car accident a few years ago, and is classified as an incomplete quad, which is great because ‘incomplete’ means the Dr.’s don’t have a clue as to whether he will walk again…. But there is a definite chance.  What do you see? ~J

Thanks for your note!  My immediate feeling moving into the Dreamtime is that B can walk again, but the limitations on that ability are not about his physical condition at all; rather, they are completely emotional.  I have the sense of a huge backlogue of feelings that were never permitted to be interpreted into emotions, that is, feelings that have never been expressed.  They are presenting themselves in great part as a “weight” on the physical form, keeping it from moving about freely.  I literally have the feeing that he has had to be made still to deal with some aspects of his past.  I feel a tremendous sadness moving into my Lower World, which was there well before the car crash.  I am led by a soul aspect of B to a skeleton lying on the ground.  The skeleton has been severed in two, such that the spine is cut separating the lower two chakras from the rest of the system.  I notice also that the two severed points of the spine are capped with blue sapphires, which is an indicator of B’s connections to a multi-dimensional heritage and life purpose.  In other words, he is an earthly manifestation of a group of ethereal allies who are spiritual anchors for work he does here.  I also feel that the sapphires are very active but not at their highest potential.  When I touch the sapphires, the upper portion of the skeleton raises up and greets me.  He refers to the sapphires, saying, “I see you found my antenna…  I guess I wasn’t really using it anyway, so it may as well be unusable now…”  His response is very flippant, but I also feel a lot of disappointment in himself for so many events that occurred before the car crash that it’s overwhelming for me to feel it all.  He is carrying tremendous guilt, more than any one person should ever shoulder, and more than is possible for anyone to carry and be well.  I pick the skeleton up and with the soul aspect of B who is leading me, I take the skeleton (both parts) up for healing.

The skeletal manifestation of B gains healthy flesh.  I see him engaged with several soulbody workers in what looks like cosmic physical therapy on his new form, and the life force in his body moves well.  He looks over his shoulder at myself and the soul aspect and nods, grinning.  I move back down into my Lower World, holding space for who can give B the best insight in how to move forward in his life right now to come.  After a few seconds, I see about 40 souls come, each of them looking exactly like B.  I know this is his soulgroup coming to show support for him and to reconnect with him.  I have a strong impression of otherworldly or intuitive experiences that B has had throughout his life that he either did not pay attention to, or did not process as such, which stunted the development of his abilities and manifesting his life purpose.  I also feel that the unexpressed emotion I felt at the beginning of this journey is related to not honoring his intuitive abilities.  It seems that B chose to manifest on Earth the first time many lives ago, and was very excited about doing so.  He was in touch with his soulgroup and they were communicating, bringing things into being…  then the weight of 3D living began to wear down his exuberance.  Manifesting his soul’s intent began to be expressed through lives as a monk or priest, the socially accepted spiritual leaders of the day, whose lives were rote and incredibly unstimulating.  This planetary shift of souls into heavier density left B feeling that living his truth could only be done by carrying great burdens and through intense sacrifice. His excitement to grow here abated.  In short, over lives B encoded into himself the pattern that living his truth could not be fun.  The early years of this life were the result of a conscientious rebellion against that hard-nosed philosophy that resulted in having so much fun on the material plane, his connection to his soulgroup, thus life purpose, was abandoned.

Except that it wasn’t.  There really is no such thing as straying off one’s path.  The euphemism of ‘straying’ is only a mechanism to draw one’s awareness more clearly back to the fact that we create our paths with every step.  There is no more sacrifice.  It’s time for B to remember that he has always had the support of his soulgroup and the Multiverse!  In honoring that support he credits himself as a vital part of the whole process.  This process is about movement of the soul, which is the foundation for releasing stored up feelings.  For B to find the kind of energy workers who can help in that releasing process will be his first step in this life back to himself.  And I do mean step.

Be well!

Another Past Life in the Present

Dear Kelley, Do you have any general advice for me and my husband? Many Thanks, Alyse

Thank you for your note, Alyse. The general feeling I get between you and your husband is a deep genuine love. I have a sense of that being clouded by some philosophical issues, that are really charged for you both. It feels like when two people are deeply in love, and are from different religions, or different cultures. Yes, the love is real, but dogma that is deeply entrenched (in you both) is taking precedence right now. Whatever the spin there, what is at its center is a philosophical conflict, a visceral disagreement on how something should be carried out. An aspect that seems to be making it harder for you both is that in a previous life, you were both of the same philosophy, same religion-same team, however that is manifesting. So there is this sort of energetic and cellular history that you are both drawing on, in which you both agreed wholly, and because of the bonus “sameness”, your life was a lot more harmonious. That past context is making it really difficult for him to understand where you are coming from in the present. He is used to you just agreeing. Likewise, you are so very used to agreeing with him from this shared past, that you are somewhat surprised, yourself, at the level of discord, and you are very pained about it. You feel the need to change an aspect of yourself because you do truly love him, and yet feel like you would be radically compromising a part of your truth, to do so.

That’s no small potatoes. In spiritual lingo, that would be a challenge ranked right up there with a Twin Flame experience. You are certainly challenging each other to grow, even if it means the physical relationship has to bend, or possibly break, to allow it. It is the fostering of each other to grow, and of yourself to grow, that must take precedence. That doesn’t mean that the relationship can’t sustain a good bend, or that you can’t grow individually, together. It just means that you have to be willing, each of you, to take that risk. In the past, I see that you have in some very strong ways given up bits of yourself to make relationships work. I see that also as having been a facet of your past life and current relationship with your husband. Greater facets of your being are not going to tolerate that anymore. Whether that is your soul, your High Self, or All of the Above That You Are, you are having a real shove to stand in what is your truth, not just with your husband, but in Life, period. I do not know what the outcome of that will be. I encourage you to really take some time to hold space for your Truth to emerge clearly to you. It may not be as divergent from his philosophy as you think. It may reveal that his perspective is something you want no part of. Nothing short of intense knowing of yourself, and creative problem solving is going to help you with this.

Honor that it’s time for you to be You. Make that the main focus of your existence right now. Other people may not like it, but you will grow so much from that knowledge. Be well, Alyse.

How do you DO This?

Question: Hi Kelley, I’m curious, how it is possible to do a Soul Reading on someone who may be halfway around the world from you, and that you have never met? Not that I doubt you–I just don’t understand how it works =) Thanks! –JC.

Hi JC! Thanks for your inquiry! I get this question quite a lot, believe it or not, from people who come to me to do Soul Readings in person. I explain to them that the soul is a limitless force made up of infinite aspects that can travel independently of the whole. The traveling aspects never lose sight of the whole, but come and go all the time from the human form, creating this vast presence that can be in many places at once, in many levels of existence at once. Just imagine that there are aspects of you collecting information, interacting with other souls, visiting all realms of the Universes at any given time, and that the higher consciousness in your human form has access to all that insight. With all that at our disposal, the opportunity for increasing one’s awareness is limitless!

When I do a reading, distance or in person, I will an aspect of my soul to go out and meet with the soul of my client, and his/her guides. This act is shamanic journeying, an ancient practice of willed soul travel into other realms, and to go deeper into the Self. For Soul Readings this meeting usually occurs in some dreamtime location that is essential to my understanding of what needs to be communicated to the client. The place may be a past life setting, it may be a visit with an aspect of the client’s soul (such as the High Self) that is in Spirit’s realm. Sometimes I am led within the human form, itself, to communicate with soul aspects there who hold information about health and energetic balance. In other cases, I meet only with the guides of the client, who are deeply in touch with the client’s soul. In this dreamtime space, it is not necessary for me to have met the soul (client) before, or for us to be in the same vicinity. For that matter, I don’t even have to know the client’s name to make contact with his or her soul elements. We all have the ability to control how the infinite parts of our souls travel. In fact, a hallmark of wellness can be learning to widen one’s awarenes to will that travel and return, which empowers one’s ability to actively manifest the soul’s intent in daily life.

I wish you happy journeys, JC. Let me know if you would like to try out a Soul Reading =)
Be well! ~skh

Tree [Spirit] Hugger

Question:  Hi, Kelley ~ I wanted to see if you could shed some light into the dark corners of my life . . . I was born 10/25/61, and have always prided myself on my drive and ambition and knowing what I wanted to do and how to get there. I’m now entering my 2nd year on the job I strived so to get (as a college professor), but am missing my work as a counselor and having a hard time getting excited about research and writing, things I once loved. I basically am feeling out-of-touch with my true self. Am I not listening to my Spirit Guides – I can’t seem to get in touch with who I am or where I need to be . . . do you have any wisdom to offer? Many thanks ~ Suzanne~

Thank you for your note, Suzanne. Well, you are a Nature girl, but not the kind of Nature most think of. When others look across the land and see grass, rocks, flowers and trees, you have the ability to see the fae, dryads, and communicate with woodland creatures. I feel that you are marginally aware of this, and that it’s not a relationship you have conscientiously cultivated. There is something about making those connections now and actively working with them that will facilitate finding your direction and heart’s desire.

Another aspect of the lively forest that I’m shown is that it misses you. In your absence, which seems to be somewhat intentional on your part, the creatures literally drew in with paints and markers the details of their world that your imagination was not there to bring to life. There are trees that have strongly rooted wood trunks, whose branches and leaves are painted on. Pink rabbits run by, who are truly furry pink, but their cottontails have been drawn on with white markers. A man who looks like “The Good King,” identifies himself as your spirit guide. Due to “lack of use” he has become a statue. He literally has become stone and stands in one area of the forest, watching over. It’s very interesting, really. The acts of the creatures here demonstrate a lot of support for you, and unconditional love, in that even if you are not actively pursuing your spiritual realms, they are actively assisting you. There are no strings, no potholes presented here. They sincerely offer you unconditional support and love, regardless of if you ever visit them again. In some form or other, they will always be there for you.

There has been a belief somewhere in All That You Are that feels you can’t have the support of those around you if you are truly on your path. In fact, in some cases, you really didn’t have support around you, in the career transition, and in the process of recalibrating after that. That feels like about the time that you checked out on your spiritual allies, as well, which is no coincidence. With the people around you not supporting you the way you needed it, there was no impetus to seek that support spiritually. That realization saddened you, and frankly, you had your hands full. In that transition you expended a lot of energy just to SHIFT. Without others helping you hold that space for yourself, you didn’t have the energy leftover to dig down deep and sit with the faeries.

Cut yourself some slack, and realize today is a new day. I feel that you have internalized a lot of the turmoil you felt in this transition, and never really talked candidly about it with anyone. This may be a point that you can through some meditation, prayer or ritual release the frustration, anger, excitement… of that time. The process of recapitulation is very powerful in this type of release—writing down (and I do mean writing and not typing, if possible) the account of that transition AND your feelings about it from start to finish, then burn it (the one and only copy) with the true intention of letting that era and your feelings about it go, bringing its healing and teaching completely into your present. Today starts now. If part of feeling supported is reconnecting with your spirit guides, then do so. Even bigger than that is remembering that no matter what anyone else says or does, you support yourself. When you have that kind of faith in yourself, you are living your Truth.

Be well, Suzanne.

Freedom and Deep Love

Question:  Hello, Kelley, I’m not really sure what my question is. I have read your column on Astroabby for quite some time now, and felt compelled to write. I’m a Pisces, born March 9 1981 at 11:13 a.m. I know that I’m still very young at 23 years old, but cannot seem to figure out what or who would be in my best interest. I have no planets in my 7th or 8th houses and am wondering how this effects me. There is one person in particular, another Pisces(3-5 around 70), who for some reason, I cannot shake. We have the type of connection that when one of us walks into the room, both of our faces light up, even if nothing is said and we stand across the room the entire night. the night was better because the other was there. He is in a relationship, and I know that we cannot be together right now, but why is that connection there and what is it? I can go months without seeing him and still think of him. We had a few intimate nights over a year ago when he was single. I have tried to date other men, but cannot seem to find this connection with anyone else. Please give me any advice you may be able to give. Thank you for your time. ~Nicole~

Hi Nicole! Thank you for your note. I am not surprised that you can not find that kind of connection with another person, as you won’t. Connections are as unique as the people with which you have them. They are never duplicated. It is truly an art worth cultivating to learn to hold connections and people in their own value and beauty. Free yourself of that thought limitation right now, and that freedom in and of itself will allow other kindred souls to enter your life.

Your guides indicate to me that you are very air-oriented, with regard to always being lost in thought, fantasizing, possibly even dissociation to some degree. You love it. You fly high above the clouds, and you like it that way. That escape keeps you some how sated in day to day life. On a mundane level, this sense of floating in the clouds is incredibly indicative of an exuberant imagination, but there is a lack of being able to manifest that creative mind in form. You are not taking that precious imagination and transforming it into the things you want in your life. With regard to love and relationships, this floating/flying nature is very much connected with not manifesting relationships. What I am shown when I inquire about this trend is you making imprints of your palms in clay and passing them out. You want to leave an impression, but it’s as if you don’t really touch things, or connect with them… You just go through the motions of doing so. This non-connection is intentional, and a conscientious decision, as is the flying. When I ask how this not touching relates to the floating/flying, an aspect of your soul tells me that she is afraid to deeply connect with someone, because she fears she will not be able to fly anymore. In this aspect of you, even the most soulful resonant love feels like a heavy weight in her Solar Plexus and Sacral Chakra (third and second chakras) that literally tugs her out of the sky.

This is the thing: in the realm of love, you stand in your own way. You want the feeling of flight and freedom, and you also want to have a deep spiritual connection with someone who can be a partner to you. Somewhere in All That You Are is the belief that you cannot have both freedom and deep love at the same time. That is a source place to begin addressing the sense of not having direction right now. Moreover, there is a core thought pattern somewhere in there lulling you into feeling that freedom can only come at the expense of not manifesting your true Self. Again, there is the pattern that you cannot do both at the same time, when in truth, you cannot have true freedom, love, or growth until you manifest your true Self. In other words, that sense of just floating has lured you into a complacent comfortable state, which is logical. It’s a lot easier to be the passenger than to drive… unless of course you don’t like where things are headed…

The way that you must learn to drive is by learning to move your life force from that space of ideas through your body so that you can completely act on it and create what you want in your life. This act is completely dependent on 1) being conscientious that “active focusing of your own life force” is possible, and 2) setting up your thoughts, beliefs of yourself and the Universe, your way of living, all in support of manifesting your True Self. Believe it, create the space for that belief in your life by weeding out habits, thought patterns, beliefs that oppose it, and the evidence of that belief manifests. I highly suggest seeking the services of an energy worker or someone who can facilitate helping you bring your life force into your body and express it in all that you do. When you tune into yourself at that level, you will not only know the type of person that you are attracted to and want to be with, but you will naturally draw those people to you.

Be well, Nicole!

What am I not Seeing?

Question: Hello Kelley ~ I am a 45 year old female (8/26), living in the Detroit area and have been unemployed for the last year and cannot seem to get a break. It’s been a very difficult last year with family issues, having who I thought was my best and oldest friend completely discard me (along with other ‘friends’ who have not truly been there in these difficult times), having a financial strain and along with it absolutely no romantic relationship. I may have made some poor decisions on moving a couple of times that led me to this point and this is not the city that I had planned on living in again. It has been a difficult five years, with the last year (4/2004 to current) being the worst. I do believe that everything happens for a reason, and have tried to learn from my past errors and remain open to possibilities, but things seem to stay dormant. Why has it been so difficult for me? Why can I not seem to get employed or meet someone to form a relationship? What am I not seeing? ~ Thanks and Best, Eliana

Thanks for your note, Eliana. I don’t think it is about what you are not seeing. This stagnation is about what you are not grieving. You have pushed yourself incredibly hard with little or no break, and have given no deeper regard for just how painful things have been, and how much this era has changed you as a person. I’m not suggesting you haven’t felt pain, but that you have not dealt with it in such a way as to give a voice and to let it move through and beyond you. Your method of coping has been very active: doing, fixing, solving. All of those are fine, and show your true champion spirit. Your nature is to get up however bruised and battered, and still make sure everyone has a good breakfast. Remember that for every champion out there fighting the good fight is an inner reserve tending the fire. Your fire tender needs attention now. When I ask her what she carries for you, and what you need to acknowledge about her, she says, “Rage. Hurt. Humiliation.” These shadow feelings have been the motivation for the improvements you are trying to make in your life. Acting out of this dark well has stunted your ability to move into free will. You have to release this deeper grief, so that you can make choices not from anger and feelings of betrayal, but from your higher awareness and truth. Take the time that you need to express these feelings as emotions released. Whatever process you need to go through to release them, to recapitulate them in their entirety–writing them down longhand (including the names, situations and events that go along with them), all of your feelings, the entire chronology, thank your champion and your fire tender, then let those emotions be taken away on the smoke of the pages your burn. It doesn’t help you to hold on to them; and letting go can free you immensely to feel better, and create what you want in life around you.

I do feel that you are not in a geographical area that is well suited to you. You thrive best in a small city, where you can feel both the pulse of life, and that of Nature. Tapping into both of those rhythms helps you connect with yourself.

Be well!

What a Girl Wants

Question: Dear Kelley ~ I’m Sadia from Pakistan. I’ve read your column on Bridgett’s site. I like it. I would be grateful if you would help me out. My d.o.b is 13th Jan 1985. I’m going through a lot in life. I lost my dad 7 years back. At the age of about 11 I found out that I was adopted. There’s a guy who I’ve been with for about 4 years. We fell in love, but there were a lot of family issues involved. He had to marry another girl. I was kinda devastated but didn’t show it. In fact I encouraged him to marry her. Now the situation is that things are not going well – they fight a lot. There are compatibility problems that may lead to divorce. I want to know is there any chance for us to get back together, as we still love each other but don’t show it. Will wait for your reply. Thanx~ Sadia

Thank you for your note, Sadia. When I ask to see your relationship to this man, I see 3 masculine relationships in your life all tangled up. I see an aspect of you with a cord coming from your solar plexus up into the sky, attached to three different men who are very comfortable and benevolent masculine archetypes for you. Two of those archetypes are paternal and one of them is this man. The image is of you standing on the ground with these three male “spirit kites” connected to you, but so tangled together that none of them can fly. It feels as though you were very close to your father, and a great deal of your security was in him and not in yourself. As a result of that, you haven’t let him go since his death, so that he can transition to the next part of his path, or so that you can transition into the next part of yours. This reluctance to let him go and develop your own masculine “fatherly” side has presented a stagnation in connecting with other males in your life–lovers, friends, family…. I work with the cords a bit until each separates into its own cord connected to you. Two of the kites disappear, until you are left only with a cord connecting you to your father. The aspect of you voluntarily cuts the cord to him, and your father passes on to Spirit very peacefully. As he does, your aspect is so happy that she dances. Your father is still with you as a spiritual guide, there to help you stand on your own.

My feeling about this man is that you can choose to pursue him, but that given releasing your father’s spirit and as a result balancing out how you give and receive masculine energy with other males in your life, you will find this man to be a great deal more needy and clingy than what you really want in a lover. Your sense of him will change. He seems to need a lot of healing and balancing of his own energy, especially after the dissolution of his marriage. He will be very egocentric in working out his feelings of low self-worth, and in discerning the need to stand in his own truth regarding what he really wants in life. He may even be hostile towards you. My feeling is that you will be quickly (or already are) over this guy, and the more comfy you feel being your own masculine stability will tire of his inconsistency. Be careful of catering to the habit of need, when what you truly want is balanced love.

Be well, Sadia.

The Legacy of Helping

Hello Kelley, I am 44 years old and I just reunited with the father of my 2 teenage daughters. We divorced in 1989 after 4 turbulent years of marriage and he quickly remarried when he got another woman pregnant. Two years ago, he came to me and let me know that he had never stopped loving me and had, in fact, been unable to love his current wife adequately as a result. He stated that his marriage to her had been a 12-year sham and he wanted me back in his life. During those years, he treated me pretty poorly as if he hated me. After 2 years of “negotiating” the terms of a new relationship between us, we signed a common law marriage agreement and got a house together. We celebrated our reunion by taking our 2 daughters to London for a Christmas celebration. Everything was going wonderfully until we got to London, where he acted horribly the whole trip, ruined it for everyone, and blamed it on me. We got home on Dec 23, and by Christmas Day he packed all his clothes and walked out on the family. He returned the next day, demanding that I move out and stating that he was no longer interested in a relationship. He has suddenly resurrected all the old patterns that drove us apart before. I believe that leaving the relationship is in order and I seek understanding that will allow me to either go or stay with compassion, rather than hatred and bitterness. Thank you, Melissa

Hi Melissa. Thank you for your kind words. My understanding from your spirit guides is that you had a relationship with this man in the past, and a lot of his issues stem from even before that past. But in this past, which you shared with him, he committed suicide, and you carry a lot of guilt leftover from the dynamic in that life. He is still perpetuating a cycle of self-destruction in this life, and you have still carried your guilt from the other life experience, compounded by events that have occurred in this life to turn that screw even tighter. That is the context I am shown for the basic premise of energy between you.

The next moment I am moved to is the death point of you in that past life. She hesitates at the point that she “should” naturally crossover. I ask her the reason for her hesitation, and she tells me that it’s her fault that he killed himself. I ask her what makes her think that, and she recounts to me how she had an affair, which badly hurt him, and drove him over the edge. She is oblivious to his choice in how he dealt with his pain. I ask her how she dealt with her guilt over having the affair and his suicide at the point of death when it actually occurred. She tells me that she was born into human form again to find him and make it up to him. the thing is, her heart wasn’t really in it. Her motives were based in guilt, and not true desire to elevate this relationship higher, or to be true to herself. this aspect of you realizes this now, but she did not at the time. As we stand at that point of her death now, I ask her what choice she is going to make this time. She tells me that she needs to move on in her spiritual path, and *if* she can help him, it will be from a spiritual realm, and not in the dichotomy of the Earth plane. She is very grateful for the opportunity you have given her to pause and change the direction in her part of your life path. To that end, she moves on to Spirit, guilt-free, no less. She is holding her power well, which means that you are, as well.

I see this shift in her moving on (essentially ending the karmic pattern you have been feeling with him) as a bit disorienting to you, in your present, at first. You have had strong energetic, and in some ways, cellular, ties to this man. Having carried guilt over lifetimes has weakened your immune system some, and your energetic body. Be gentle with yourself. For one, you have been through enough with this guy already, that you deserve to just take a few days to yourself and energetically regroup. I see work being really hectic for you right now, and not helpful in that regard. Things that you normally take in stride are a bit more challenging, until you can redistribute your energy in a pattern that is based in the present, and functional to where you are on your path NOW. It also feels like you may even come to have LESS feelings for this man now, and not be so connected to his actions, his words, or the drama of breakup. In reality, you’ve done this a few times already with him, and not just in this life. But this detachment I see in you is not from having been worn down, but from true genuine “objectivity.” I’m not saying that you don’t have opinions or feelings about what has led up to your present, but they just aren’t going to have the hold over you that they have prior. To that end, I don’t see bitterness or hatred looming largely for you. You are aware enough of your own process to be able to let those last few tugs of those feelings pass through without them getting trapped..

You are a wise woman, with powerful allies. That you can have gone through this experience with this man and want to release it on a high level speaks well to who you are and what you are capable of. Be well, Melissa.

A Starseed from Way Back

Dear Kelley, I have a health related question. Since last year (2004), I have had 3 occurrences of a very bad rash that has been cropping up on my body. I have been to doctors, allergists, dermatologists and they all labeled it as “contact dermatitis,” meaning I had an allergic reaction to something that I ate, came in contact with, etc. The rash doesn’t seem to follow any type of pattern and each time it has cropped up on different parts of my body. My question is that I’m wondering if the cause is more emotional/stress related than an actual allergic reaction to something? I’m wondering if something is going on where I’m bringing this on myself. Thanks for your input!!

Thanks for your note, Jana. You have not brought this on yourself. Free yourself of the frustration that has led you down that line of thinking, cos it’s not a factor. This is very much a contact disturbance, but not in the way that your doctors have indicated.

When I approach your guides, I immediately break out into a rash all over my arms. A hand reaches out to pull me along a wooded path, and I see my benefactor is a dark-skinned woman wearing a very plain dark dress, with a cream colored binding covering her head and hair. The further she leads me into the woods, this rash spreads over my body. Every leaf that brushes against me, the air that I take in, the pressure of earth under my feet… all of these external things contribute to my surface unrest. The woman finally leads me to a hut with a fire burning in front of it. The area is deep in the dark woods, nothing and no one near for miles, and it is a freezing cold night. Oblivious to the atmosphere, she sits me down and coats me in this pink plaster-like substance to soothe the rash, and I realize that she is your guide. I ask her where she is from, and she gives me this huge wild woman teethy grin. It strikes me then that she is from the southern hemisphere, and we are distinctly in the woods of the north western United States, if not Canada. Nothing about her meager dwelling or well-kept surroundings would indicate that she is not from this area. But her clothing, skin, and energy are clearly South American. When I ask her again where she is from, she points to the stars, and I understand what is causing your discomfort being on this planet.

I ask her to tell me the story of you, and she begins to feed me a warm broth as she talks. She speaks a very strange language made up of tones not words, but tells me that she is most certainly not from the area in which she currently dwells, but that she has adapted fully to live there and do her work. She tells me that you have not adapted to your new atmosphere. When she attempts to explain where you are really from, I don’t have the sense that it is a planet different from Earth; rather, a *dimension* different than our comprehended Universe. Determining your source is not so easy as following a ley line from here to a star and recording the path. You are from a very intricate, and yet somehow incredibly simplistic life force that is not very used to matter, and not very fond of the level of complication incurred by life on this bluegreen ball. You are not used to barriers of any kind-on your ability to create and manifest, or even that of skin to attempt to “hold you all in one place.”

So why did you sign up for it if it’s getting under your skin this badly? Morganna, as your guide is now identifying herself, tells me that you have not incarnated on this planet, or anywhere, very often. Being in skin is not very comfortable to you, and that “limitation” has created other disturbances in your form off and on through this life. I ask her point blank your reason for coming here, and she gets up, walking around her abode, but is silent. I ask her why she came to this place from her home, and she whirls around, nothing but eager to talk, and she tells me that she is an anchor, a placeholder, so that the others have a place to come when it is their time. I know that she is not talking about a South American home, but her star ancestors, your contemporaries.

You have come here to pave a way for others who are from your source. In other words, you came as a scout, to find a place to create a sacred space for some work to be done. Others of your star lineage are coming to help you hold this space and do this work. The rash has evolved from you not wanting to “adapt” to life here. You have interpreted adaptation as having to sacrifice your higher abilities, your starness in order to create this sacred space. There’s been anger around this, frustration, sheer annoyance from feeling that 3D limits your truth. The thing is, upon coming here, part of your truth became 3D, which means part of your power did, part of your beauty… You haven’t held this dimension in very high regard at all, which means you have not held part of yourself in high regard. To you, 3D is a dirty auto repair shop with greasy parts and tools lying everywhere, with few mechanics who really know what the part and tools can do. You’re a mechanic, and to release this rash, you’re going to have to use those 3D tools. A big part of it just respecting 3D space, and not seeing it as less, or as some unidentifiable crud that’s going to rub off and make you itch. Being able to honor this plane will only strengthen your ability to create and hold space for your tribe to come and do its work. I’m not talking about tree hugger kind of admiration and respect-you already have a fond rapport with Nature. This is about respecting form, remembering that all form is spirit manifest, and remembering in that knowledge there is no difference. Home is you, Jana. Be well!

Power Beyond the Killing Times

Dear Kelley, I am in a bit of a dilemma about love, life, and my identity right now. I feel as if my life is stuck in a program where I am doomed to repeat relationship patterns. My boyfriend of six years and I just recently decided to give each other some time and space. We have a daughter together and I feel like we are stuck in a rut unable to grow and mesh well with each other. I am not in love with him and we are so different. Sometimes it seems our only purpose is to antagonize each other. With my love dilemma, I met a man with whom I worked and we had a lot of fun laughing, working, and talking with each other. He revealed his attraction for me the day I met him but I didn’t follow him up. Also, I feel ungrounded, unable to give form to my creativity with art, and unable to make sense of what I truly need to do to get on the right path. Thank you. Sincerely, Cassandra Shannon

Thank you for your note, Cassandra. Initially, I am led to commend you for having the insight and constitution to know when a relationship needs to be over, and to make it so. You have very clear intuition on knowing what is right for you, what you need, and what you want. Give yourself the due validation of knowing that as complicated as things seem, having those few kernels of information puts you well ahead in the grander scheme. Your guides indicate to me that your heart is full of love. You have a natural affinity to the beautiful things in life-lots of Venus, feminine qualities, that are not being expressed. This facet of your nature coupled with feeling thrown into a very patriarchal system (paying bills, where to live, how to survive) creates a significant conflict for you. You will not be comfortable doing things in that patriarchal way.

A present aspect of you dressed in smart shoes and a business suit comes to me, and she is holding what looks like a thick bright blue glowing bangle in her cupped palms. It rests in her hands, yet hovers just above her skin at the same time.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” she asks.

“It is,” I reply. “What is it?” “My soul,” she says, filled with admiration. I admire it with her for a bit, then ask, “Do you often take it into your hands and hold it?”

“Yes. I really like it that way.”

I move behind her and situate the soul back into All of her. “How does it feel when your soul is all throughout you?”

“Completely powerless,” she replies, somewhat deadpan, as she turns to face me.

This is where the breakdown between your love of beauty and the denser qualities of day-to-day life clash. You do not feel that you can engage in the stringent duties of providing for yourself and your daughter from a soulful place. Part of you subscribes to the idea that it HAS to be hard, that it HAS to be a stretch beyond what feels comfortable and confident to you. The moving and shaking you have to do right now may feel uncomfortable, but not because it is stacked against you. It’s uncomfortable only because you don’t see yourself as powerful as you really are. Part of you does not believe that you can approach the Universe from your human vantage point on this planet and remain a beautiful light soul who can both affect the system with her wisdom and love, all the while paying the bills, and still be a tool for raising yourself and those around you to a higher, more lovely existence. You don’t really want to climb corporate ladders or wear smart shoes. So stop putting your energy in the fear that you are or have missed out on something there. Your solutions and ability are far more artful and creative than that. Your means of expressing yourself and being employed are going to be off the beaten path, and that is where you are going to have to look to find them. Certainly you can take classes in your interests here and there, but it doesn’t have to be a degree program to give you the knowledge to improve your skills and your self-image. You revere your soul for the awesome entity that it is, yet you do not feel you can bring that life force through into your mundane. There is a sense that you will tarnish your soul if you did, as well as the knowledge that you are intentionally not acting on all of your power.

When I ask that aspect of you what happened that made her feel she cannot honor her soul on this planet I have a glimpse that the last time she did was in the killing times, when the mystical powers of women were punished by death. More specifically, when the Divine Feminine was being distanced from us. It’s totally understandable, and not uncommon. She cries as she tells me that Before, she was a wizard (I think literally) at working with flowers. She has a deep connection with not only their aesthetic qualities, but of the healing qualities their presence and consumption brings. If you are unfamiliar with Bach Flower Essences, I highly recommend doing a bit of research into them and see if it jars something for you-not just in terms of remembering healing skills that you have to share with the world, but as a possibility to see if they could help you through this transitory time in your life. This aspect of you responded to the threat of living her Truth by energetically withholding it from this realm, although she herself chose to continue returning to it.

You are no longer satisfied with this “soulless” pattern. For you to be happy in relationships, with your work in this realm (both career and personal), you have to approach everything you do from the light of your soul. I have the sense this is no newsflash for you, and that you have an idea of what this means in literal corners of your life. On a very simplistic level, begin by honoring the beauty you have in and around you. Do small lavish things, like honoring nature and your connection to water. You need to be in and around water. It balances you and makes you feel comforted. These things seem like intrusions on a busy schedule or a stressed mind, but they are exactly what you need. Your daughter also shares many of your qualities of artistry and love of beauty. She is a semi-conductor of energy with a blatant disregard of the status quo, though she is dealing with her own karma of remembering that Truth. She can teach you a lot in that regard. As well, your claiming of your own soul will enable her to do the same as she grows up in this culture. Truly address that you have been making decisions and choices based out of fear and not out of your Truth, and the sources of the fear will diminish. Call your soul home, and mean it. Provide a clear sunny space in you for her dwell, and she will take care of the rest. The bills will be paid. Home emerges strong and stable. Relationships that sustain and encourage your soul’s growth prevail. Your agreements with yourself and the Universe demand nothing less. This seemingly crazy transition phase is the turn around you have asked for. The empowerment it brings is what you are capable of. Welcome back.