Kelley, I am a Virgo and have dealt with Saturn since September 2007, when my life turned upside down. I have worked diligently and have made progress, but I don’t have a job that can sustain my son and myself, I have not received child support since the beginning of Saturn’s visit, and my Virgo son has gotten into trouble and a toxic relationship. We are completely broke and live with my mother. Is this karmic? Am I suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder? Why is this happening, and will it ever end? Sara
Thanks for your note, Sara. The story I am shown is in your chakras. Your root chakra, which is the first of the primary chakras along the spine and is situated at the perineum, is very overactive. The root chakra does what it sounds like–it roots you as a spiritual being into the form of this world. Mastery of this chakra involves gaining the basic survival skills to stay alive as a formed being, and psychologically it entails that you become aware that you are part of a tribe, in preparation for the mastery of the second chakra, which is all about how one relates (or doesn’t) to the tribe, itself. An overactive root chakra can indeed give the effect of being locked in fight-or-flee instinct, the perpetual feeling that you are being pursued even when there is no threat. The other major point about the root chakra that is vivid for you relates back to the tribe–your family unit. You have a birth family unit, the one you learned to survive in and prepared you for surviving in the world, and you also have created a family unit, your son, whom will be leaving the tribe soon. In your time of peril you have returned to your original tribe, and in doing so have brought your created tribe with you. It’s good to have a support system, but in this case, sharing living space with your birth tribe is only creating more inner conflict for you. Another facet of this overactive root is OCD–Obsessive Compulsive Disorder behaviour. Virgos are given to wanting order and turning themselves inside out to preserve it. I feel like this is something you generally have good habits on, but the constant trigger to preserve survival has created self-harming habits, mostly at a mental level–spinning scenarios in your head until panic ensues, allowing irrational thoughts to trump approaches you know are more healthy. Sometimes we best manage by stepping back. We think that disengaging and being present is a passive act, when in reality it is the most challenging active pursuit. This is your greatest challenge right now, and as you master it, so shall your son.
Because connections of tribe are so interwoven with the way Saturn is affecting you, I do feel that this experience is karmic. Distress with your birth family is being unconsciously acted out by your son. He is expressing your repressed stress, which is a long-standing pattern between you that has only increased with Saturn’s focus. He is not consciously aware that he is playing out this dynamic. I have a sense of spinning wheels. He is at the threshold of stepping out into the world as an individual, and he feels that he should be able to help you more with the household. His own stress cripples him. This ‘inability to provide’ is creating a block for him. He is mature enough to feel the pinch and longing to help, but he doesn’t have the experience or emotional grounding to effectively help. Few his age do. Teens deal with ‘spinning’ by acting out. Rebellion feels productive, despite that it only divides and conquers. Crazy as he may be driving you, disciplining his behaviour won’t improve circumstances. His underlying stress has to be soothed, and the best way to do that is by example. Strategically placed, “My emotions are my own to process,” in talks with him can unconsciously help him let go of responsibilities that are yours alone to manage. It will also send him the signal to let you be the parent. Conversely, it will send the signal to him to be the child, ie, to listen and observe.
Your guides are only showing me how this karmic stress is affecting your chakra system. Because everything in our etheric form is connected, so, too, is the internal and external. It’s a matter of time before it affects other aspects of your wellbeing, your health in particular. Regardless of what is going on in your external right now, it is imperative that you address the internal. When I observe the rest of your chakra system, I can just make it out for the overwhelming size and brightness of your root chakra. The lower chakras pertain to our earthly growth and maturity, while the upper chakras relate our spiritual growth and maturity. Etherically speaking, what needs to happen is the root chakra energy needs to be moved up the spine, balanced throughout, as it were, and the life force that comes in through the crown–the topmost primary chakra in the form, needs to be drawn down. Whatever meditative technique appeals to you, bringing your awareness to this process will be helpful. Visualize doing it, feel it moving, imagine that primal balance taking place. If you can go to an energy worker to do this work for you, or if you’re comfortable with doing it at a distance I can do such work. Either way, some self-maintenance is required. I do not get information on job or new residence, because giving attention to your life force is imperative. My sense is that in giving yourself some solitude and care, you will have better perspective and opportunity will arise from that.
It’s been a long haul with Saturn. I completely empathize with you, Sara. You have come through it, and through the aftershock you are regaining your power. Be open to the wisdom Saturn leaves you, and some sweetness will prevail.