Hi Kelley, My husband and I have been apart since 2004 and I still have no resolution. We have not talked other than him telling me that he will make my life a living hell, and he has done so. He is planning on marrying the woman he left me for in 2010. I still see him on the highway on my way to work. That man was my heart. What happened to make him hate me so? Thanks ~L
Thanks for your note, L. I can’t get core insight about your husband without his permission. I can tell you that from the imagery I see he felt for a long time like a starving, impoverished person, though the circumstances of his despair were self-induced. He is on his own path of creating conflict for himself as a means of learning self-reliance and empowerment. As he treats himself without care, it is no surprise that he would treat you with even less. Consider it beneficial not to be with him any longer, in that regard. How he cares for himself is his choice and his process for this time.
What concerns me is your process. There is great danger in staying locked in a victim mindset over circumstances you can’t change, instead of focusing on the things you can change that will benefit from your attention. It seems that you are steadily giving away your power to many others, leaving little for yourself. Put yourself first. You need to care for and raise your life force now more than ever. If you do not have a regular meditative practice, even if it is visualizing random colors of light moving through and around your body, such will improve your health and your outlook. Finding an energy worker to help you raise your life force–a Reiki master, shaman, holotropic breathwork practitioner… will vastly help you heal your life force, your body, and your heart.