Tag: soulmate

Find the Self, Find Soul Kindred

Hi Kelley, I’m hoping you can tell me if you see someone special entering my life. I’d love to know what it feels like to be in a loving relationship. It’s taken me a long time but I know I’m ready to love someone again. I’ve never been lucky enough to find that type of relationship. My kids are grown and before I leave this earth I’m hoping to see what it feels like to really be with a soulmate. Blessings, Cindy.

Thank you for your note, Cindy. What I see in your need to find a soul friend is a general need in finding a spiritual tribe. You have not consistently been able to surround yourself with like-minded people, or with a tribe that carries your passion for all things soulful. Rather, you’ve kept your ideas around spirituality to yourself out of fear of judgment. This is in part the reason that a close soul friend hasn’t been able to come. Allowing this group connection requires opening up more about who you really are inside, so that you can attract and find a tribe to support you and allow you to contribute from a more authentic place in yourself. You have to invest your true self externally for the Multiverse to invest in you authentically.

Holy Ghost and Attendants, Horseshoe Canyon - Canyonlands National Park, Utah

Holy Ghost and Attendants, Horseshoe Canyon - Canyonlands National Park, Utah

Creating this deep, personal sense of community is what brings the potential for soul love, and the investment in such a group must be to truly immerse in spiritual community. It can’t be for the sole purpose of allowing this soul friend in, as that purpose alone isn’t addressing your deeper need for tribe. This group feels like people with a shared common interest in spiritual studies or a particular spiritual approach. Your involvement with this new group leads you to a new relationship in a little over a year from now. The group is what creates the opening for this relationship to happen. Your submission to be who you truly are across the strata of your life is what allows it to happen.

Be well, Cindy!

Renaissance Woman Meets the Age of Aquarius

Kelley, I am very impressed by your thoughtful and interesting answers to readers’ questions. I’ve done a lot of different kinds of spiritual work that has helped me tremendously with personal questions and dilemmas. My spiritual work utilizes meditation and guide(s), which is why I responded deeply to your insight. I have a nagging mystery that seems to have no clear answer or finality. My dilemma is the question of joining with a true soulmate or twin soul for a solid, long partnership. Until now folks seem to fall away or are not solid enough to form anything far-reaching, even though I felt they could be and I was ready. At this point in my life I feel ridiculous trying, so at least I’m not emotional about it. Am I to traverse this life as a solitary, without sharing in a beautiful, life-enriching partnership with a man? Or is my path to go fully into healing work and lead a celibate lifestyle? Thank-you for your insight. Shannon

Thanks for your praise and inquiry, Shannon. What I see straight away is that you are functioning at a very high level, etherically, though you’re not attracting potential lovers who are. Your chakra system and etheric field look great, but more than healthy, they are wide and strong. This is a good thing, frankly a rare thing to see. No doubt it is the result of your self-work and is supported by your strong personality and sense of self.

Taktshang Monastery, Bhutan

Taktshang Monastery, Bhutan

You hit it dead-on when you asked about a life of celibacy, in that a monastic way of living has been the way you have maintained your high level of functioning in other manifestations of yourself. Your lineage in the formed plane has most often been one of spiritual servitude, and to be able to consistently provide to your community, you set yourself apart. You formed intimate relationships, but not ones of a sexually bonded nature. One of the things that the Age of Aquarius ushers out is the correlation that higher consciousness requires isolation. In reality it probably is easier to focus on personal growth without the distraction of interpersonal relationships, and that choice is always available. However, moving from the Age of Pisces, we are leaving behind the notion of “I” and that only cultural elites are permitted the station of spiritual leader. Our communities, our life force, and our minds are not organized for divisive spirituality anymore, which is one reason the congregations of major religions are diminishing. Now it is our charge not only to move beyond the emphasis of spiritual awareness for self growth, but that we do so amongst each other. We can no longer cloister our the pursuit of personal truths behind silent walls, or cloak our bodies to separate and hide the deeply spiritual sensuality of our physical temples. We can no longer save humanity sitting at the elevated vantage point on the top of the hill. We must walk with each other. We are whole packages now, and that’s how we must live.

What does this have to do with you finding Mr. Soul Complement? Everything. You have a legacy of separating in order to maintain the level of etheric balance you have achieved. You no longer want to separate, and in fact deeply yearn to bond. Rest assured there is no tradeoff. You do not have to give up your balance to acquire a soul love. All you have needed is to make the connection that you have carried into this manifestation the pattern that in the past you had to choose. In your spiritual work now, allow your Nature. All That You Are knows what you need, and now you need a spiritual complement. Infuse the statement, “I allow my Nature,” behind everything you do. If you feel led to do releasing work around the pattern of having to choose, do so. My feeling is that just reading this and making that connection will release the pattern. The new mantra will adjust your life force as it needs, to attract what will be right and endearing for you.

Be with and be well, Shannon.

Mothering Twins, Healing the Self

Kelley, I’m a single mom of six-year-old twin girls, whom I adore. Lately I’ve been feeling overwhelmed with single motherhood. Their father is minimally involved, emotionally and financially. I’m feeling the brunt of parenthood, which is especially difficult for me at the holidays. I am on a spiritual journey which is comforting but I also would like a life partner. I’ve dated since my divorce 3 years ago but the situations have all ended disastrously. Is there anything you can tell me as far as steps I can take to find romantic love? Is that in my future? Thanks so much! G

Thanks for your note, G. Having twins myself, I understand what kind of pressure you’ve been under, and I commend your hard work. Your daughters are nearing the age to take command of their spiritual wills. From infancy (and possibly, in utero, depending on when the soul decides to enter the form) until about the age of nine, parents are custodians of their children’s spiritual wellbeing. Ideally this means caretaking them not just physically, emotionally, and mentally, but also in how they manifest their souls into form, helping them stand in their power, to speak their truth, to connect with All Things, ect, so that as they emerge spiritually independent in the earth plane they go forward confidently, whole, and well. At six, your daughters know they are spiritual beings and are at the point of identifying themselves as individuals with unique life purposes and desires. You, particularly as a single mother of twins, expend a lot of your energy helping them accomplish these desires. You still hold much of their grounding for them and serve as their spiritual and energetic protector—and will for a few more years. This level of soul parenting takes a toll on your personal freedom, literally by forcing you to be more in your lower chakras.

Monument to the Single Mother by Elca Branman

My sense is that you are a fairly balanced person, elementally speaking. Some people are naturally more in their upper chakras, some in their lower ones, some strike a nice balance throughout. I don’t feel that you were upended by pregnancy and new motherhood by a radical energy shift in that way (women not used to being in their lower chakras are a bit shell-shocked from that alone, postpartum). What I see is that you have cared for two new little ones alone, and that has depleted you energetically. All women experience this depletion to some degree after every birth, just as all women are naturally more in their lower chakras the first few years of their children’s lives. The lower chakras are the earthly chakras. They make us very aware of our surroundings, of tactile senses, of the drive to protect, hunt, create space… as Nature intended. In other words, it’s the state of being exactly opposite that of seeking new soul love.

Ideally when we’re allowing a soul partner to enter, we’re in our best, most balanced shape, etherically, and on all levels. Realistically, we want such a partner, regardless of circumstance. Romantic love is available to you, G; however, other things need to come first. Your life force is discombobulated from all it’s been through and it’s not attracting the kind of partner you crave. Until you get a bit more energetic support for yourself, it can’t. At present, you attract suitors who resonate with the erratic energy of the last few years, and their behaviour toward you reflects that. You must address the fatigue that single motherhood has introduced to your life force, preferably through some form of chakra balancing or energy work. I don’t see any particular problematic area, just a general lethargy that needs revitalizing. You need this for yourself, but also, without standing in your power as fully as you can, your daughters won’t learn to, and you won’t attract your best match in a soul love. Take time to focus healing energy and work on yourself with a trusted practitioner, and consider it a reward well earned. The benefits will be a more empowered you, daughters modeling a dazzling female lead, and your pick of soulful equals in love.

The Necessity of Honoring Spiritual Unity

Thanks for your help Kelley. Why do my husband and I have such a hard time together? Divorce is not an option. Thanks, L.

Thanks for your note, L. When I rise up into soul space and look down at how the two of you are energetically connected that life force is very thin and dim. That tells me that that neither of you has lived in spiritual recognition of each other. The marriage, roles of partners, etc., have been honored, but making the spiritual observation and connection to each other has gone without nurture. The relevance of soul relationship hasn’t been an emphasized aspect of your marriage, but it still can be. The connection is there. I realize that may be challenging to do after you have been with someone for a long time. It’s more challenging to allow yourself to see that person in a new light, to commit to yourself to allow your existing relationship to be the one you want. This bond can be fostered by giving it attention daily, if not more often. The same way that you hold up things in prayer, give energy to world peace, make daily affirmations, send Reiki to someone, or manifest personal goals must be the level that you reverence your soul bond with your husband. It has to become part of your regular way that you interact with your own soulful nature. I believe that it is perhaps a smoother transition to make when all parties involved are practicing this spiritual reverence together, particularly if you communicate about it, but both do not have to do it for positive change to occur. Exploring Tantric connection could be very useful, and it may be a more acceptable avenue for such work for your husband. One facet of this for you both is learning to voice your bond to each other, and not through rote “I love you,” or other passive gestures. Speaking your truth is critical to the success of any relationship. My sense is that the friction between you will abate radically when the soul bond is given some attention.

I realize that you are not seeking challenging transition, whether that is through divorce or in revitalizing your marriage. I also realize that you are not seeking change, though if you want things to change challenging transition is unavoidable. Even if you do not feel that you can give to your marriage on a spiritual level, it would be very beneficial to you to do some energy work to soothe your own sense of struggle and loss around that, and if you feel led, to work with a therapist in finding your voice.

I wish you the deepest, most soulful love.

Soul Twins, Soulmates, Twin Flames and Rigid Truth

“The truth you believe and cling to makes you unavailable to hear anything new.” ~Pema Chödrön, The Wisdom of No Escape and the Path of Loving Kindness

The Post-Traumatic Stress of Maternal Awakening by S. Kelley HarrellI recently featured Chödrön’s quote as my Twitter update while I was penning a response to a client regarding soulmates. The two seemed so related that the quote is fitting to introduce this collective inquiry: What are soulmates and why do we seek them?

Most of us have been given some concept of soul connection by early childhood, a definition that sticks with us unless or until we explore the concept ourselves. When I first began working with others as a shaman a large number of my clients were dealing with some aspect of ‘soulmate,’ whether it was the search to find one or clarifying an existing relationship with a soul relation. The thing that I noticed most was how desperately many cling to the concept of ‘soulmate’ and to the people they believe to be such. I was curious about what led people to believe that soulmate = perfect union, that having a soul connection to someone would entail staying in a relationship that clearly did not meet needs. Equally, I was driven to understand the psychology that feels it’s useless unless it is in a recognizable soul union.

Examining how the concept of ‘soul relationship’ is put out there one quickly bumps into Edgar Cayce’s work around the topics of “soul twins” and “twin flames.” Having been widely interpreted, the perspective largely perpetuated through his readings is that there is one and only one perfect soul complement. In this view the soul is a dual-faceted entity that splits itself in two equal masculine and feminine life forces in order to bridge a wider terrain of experience and learning in the earth plane. These two come together in formed life to complete the Oversoul’s (or High Self’s) earthly work. I’m comfortable that Cayce knew things that I don’t, though within the framework of my experience is a truth that souls are limitless. Not only are they infinite, they are collectives spanning distance and time, perhaps even dimensions, doing acrobatic energetic feats, splitting into many manifestations and rejoining so cleverly we can’t begin to hold them in linear understanding. This is the beauty of our transpersonal. It isn’t just metaphor that we are all connected regardless of the era we were born, the location in which we reside, the biological sex we wear, or the species we inhabit. We are connected, period.

I’ve had many clients come to me who realized they were in a soul-connected relationship only to find that interpersonal issues weren’t resolved by virtue of this spirit union. Most couldn’t understand how a precious soulmate could inflict harm on its Other. The reality is being connected at very high levels to someone doesn’t automatically impart that the earth consciousness is well-adjusted. In fact, it doesn’t imply anything. Unfulfilled expectations are the result of earthly filters we have applied to a spiritual state of being. In that state several of my clients expressed that they felt they had been given a divine gift and to walk away from it would be a dismissal of their Higher Power. More harrowing for some was the idea that in leaving this soulmate they would karmically forfeit finding another. Changing this belief isn’t just leaving a lover or spouse but is a crisis of faith much the same as realizing one’s chosen religion no longer suffices. For many to turn away from a soulmate, even in extremely abusive situations it feels like going against Nature because we have been programmed to view soul connections through a limited earthly lens. In some cases we have been indoctrinated to put our interpretation of those filters above our own welfare and needs. That inclination is as harmful in unhealthy soulmate relationships as it is insidious in those who feel they have no self-worth without one.

In that light it isn’t the soul connection that is damaging; rather, the way we have been taught to perceive it is. Soul connection at its most basic isn’t about how many we have or how long they last. The soul doesn’t know male or female, or loving one versus loving five, or romantic versus platonic love. It doesn’t even differentiate cat from tree, or son from place. The soul does not know time. All it knows is fluid, expanding compassion and unconditional love for All Things. When we start applying linear constructs to soul connections and spiritual experiences, the experiences become stagnant. Any thriving wisdom they imparted ceases to evolve and grow.

The Celtic concept of “anam cara” is the most fluid understanding of soul bonding that I’ve learned, the “soul friend,” one who simply by being in form reminds us of infinite connection and moves us in the way of growth when we won’t move ourselves. For that reason soulful bonds often create more challenges for us, rather than less. What I see in that dynamic is our power to create ourselves exactly as we want to be in as many ways as we can comprehend. Within that open comprehension and bond with All That Is, would it not be possible to see anyone as a soulmate, if we allowed it?

We live at a time that the rules for how we come into this plane are changing, if they ever were truly static. Perhaps it is our ability to widen our comprehension of the rules that has changed. Years ago a friend said to me, “When you find truth, pick it up. Inspect it carefully, then put it down and walk away.” Truth, like souls, cannot be held. My outlook has been more fluid since I learned this. I have become my metaphor, and in doing so recognize you more freely.

Final Fantasy

Question:  Kelley,
For the past year and half, I have been in off-again-on-again relationship.  I am a Leo Woman, he is an Aries Man. We have some good earth elements that help us with all the fire.  This man has a problem with commitment, and has never married even at 44 years.  He says he wants to.  We run hot and cold, and I have emotionally moved on.  But yet he continues to try and come back. There is a huge connection between us.  Can you see anything in his natal chart, or our composite report. Thanks, Cathy in Atlanta

When I ask to see the soul manifestation of this relationship, I am shown both of you as children, him riding a carousel and you standing to the side watching him go round.  The feeling I have about this scene relating to the present dynamic between you is he is having a lot of fun, savoring the moment, not projecting the future.  The child aspect of you, though, is not happy at all.  She has no interest in the carousel and is only there because she feels some danger awaits him.  She has placed herself in the position of thwarting whatever harm could come to him.  I do have a sense that the harm is a very real thing, because he is oblivious to the more grounded and fixed world around him.  He’s only seeing the lights, music and dizzying thrill of the ride.  You two are striking contrasts to each other, in that he is very ungrounded in this plane, and you are a bit too fixed in the formed realm.  Ideally you could be stabilizing agents for each other, but he is too submerged in having fun and you are too fixated on your involvement with him being romantic.  Both of these factors preclude a balanced joining in the present.  There is an old bond between you that has carried over lifetimes, and that has created soul friends of you in the spaces between lives.  That said, I feel your presence in his life isn’t about romantic involvement; rather, holding the space to create his wakeup call.  Until now you have interpreted that role as lying in wait for his downfall.  I definitely see you as anam cara to each other, the Celtic soul bond entailing that what he has not chosen to put himself in the path of for growth, you will put him there.  It’s a very ‘tough love’ connection, which is likely an even stronger testament to the soul work you do together than a romantic relationship could deliver.  The thing is, I think he has gotten very used to you holding that space and for now has no intention of getting off the carousel.  It’s become an enabling situation.  I also think it’s worthy to note this is his perspective across life, not just in terms of relationships.  It’s not about commitment for him.  He’s not a baseless user, he just is not willing to fully root into this plane and be present.  What I see being a catalyst to his growth is for you to leave the theme park.  It’s time for you to bring your energy back from him.  That deep level of support that you have been giving him for eons needs to be reallocated.  I realize you have moved on emotionally, but at an energetic or spiritual level you are still holding him up.  You need your energy back.  In a quiet meditative space, ask your High Self to extract your energy from him, to cleanse it, then return it to you for your own support.  Understand that bringing your energy back is not abandoning him, and it is not severing the deep bond between you.  If anything it is showing him more support, in that you are willing to put your needs first, and that empowerment of self strengthens every bond in your Being.

My best to you, Cathy! Be well!

Another Past Life in the Present

Dear Kelley, Do you have any general advice for me and my husband? Many Thanks, Alyse

Thank you for your note, Alyse. The general feeling I get between you and your husband is a deep genuine love. I have a sense of that being clouded by some philosophical issues, that are really charged for you both. It feels like when two people are deeply in love, and are from different religions, or different cultures. Yes, the love is real, but dogma that is deeply entrenched (in you both) is taking precedence right now. Whatever the spin there, what is at its center is a philosophical conflict, a visceral disagreement on how something should be carried out. An aspect that seems to be making it harder for you both is that in a previous life, you were both of the same philosophy, same religion-same team, however that is manifesting. So there is this sort of energetic and cellular history that you are both drawing on, in which you both agreed wholly, and because of the bonus “sameness”, your life was a lot more harmonious. That past context is making it really difficult for him to understand where you are coming from in the present. He is used to you just agreeing. Likewise, you are so very used to agreeing with him from this shared past, that you are somewhat surprised, yourself, at the level of discord, and you are very pained about it. You feel the need to change an aspect of yourself because you do truly love him, and yet feel like you would be radically compromising a part of your truth, to do so.

That’s no small potatoes. In spiritual lingo, that would be a challenge ranked right up there with a Twin Flame experience. You are certainly challenging each other to grow, even if it means the physical relationship has to bend, or possibly break, to allow it. It is the fostering of each other to grow, and of yourself to grow, that must take precedence. That doesn’t mean that the relationship can’t sustain a good bend, or that you can’t grow individually, together. It just means that you have to be willing, each of you, to take that risk. In the past, I see that you have in some very strong ways given up bits of yourself to make relationships work. I see that also as having been a facet of your past life and current relationship with your husband. Greater facets of your being are not going to tolerate that anymore. Whether that is your soul, your High Self, or All of the Above That You Are, you are having a real shove to stand in what is your truth, not just with your husband, but in Life, period. I do not know what the outcome of that will be. I encourage you to really take some time to hold space for your Truth to emerge clearly to you. It may not be as divergent from his philosophy as you think. It may reveal that his perspective is something you want no part of. Nothing short of intense knowing of yourself, and creative problem solving is going to help you with this.

Honor that it’s time for you to be You. Make that the main focus of your existence right now. Other people may not like it, but you will grow so much from that knowledge. Be well, Alyse.

Freedom and Deep Love

Question:  Hello, Kelley, I’m not really sure what my question is. I have read your column on Astroabby for quite some time now, and felt compelled to write. I’m a Pisces, born March 9 1981 at 11:13 a.m. I know that I’m still very young at 23 years old, but cannot seem to figure out what or who would be in my best interest. I have no planets in my 7th or 8th houses and am wondering how this effects me. There is one person in particular, another Pisces(3-5 around 70), who for some reason, I cannot shake. We have the type of connection that when one of us walks into the room, both of our faces light up, even if nothing is said and we stand across the room the entire night. the night was better because the other was there. He is in a relationship, and I know that we cannot be together right now, but why is that connection there and what is it? I can go months without seeing him and still think of him. We had a few intimate nights over a year ago when he was single. I have tried to date other men, but cannot seem to find this connection with anyone else. Please give me any advice you may be able to give. Thank you for your time. ~Nicole~

Hi Nicole! Thank you for your note. I am not surprised that you can not find that kind of connection with another person, as you won’t. Connections are as unique as the people with which you have them. They are never duplicated. It is truly an art worth cultivating to learn to hold connections and people in their own value and beauty. Free yourself of that thought limitation right now, and that freedom in and of itself will allow other kindred souls to enter your life.

Your guides indicate to me that you are very air-oriented, with regard to always being lost in thought, fantasizing, possibly even dissociation to some degree. You love it. You fly high above the clouds, and you like it that way. That escape keeps you some how sated in day to day life. On a mundane level, this sense of floating in the clouds is incredibly indicative of an exuberant imagination, but there is a lack of being able to manifest that creative mind in form. You are not taking that precious imagination and transforming it into the things you want in your life. With regard to love and relationships, this floating/flying nature is very much connected with not manifesting relationships. What I am shown when I inquire about this trend is you making imprints of your palms in clay and passing them out. You want to leave an impression, but it’s as if you don’t really touch things, or connect with them… You just go through the motions of doing so. This non-connection is intentional, and a conscientious decision, as is the flying. When I ask how this not touching relates to the floating/flying, an aspect of your soul tells me that she is afraid to deeply connect with someone, because she fears she will not be able to fly anymore. In this aspect of you, even the most soulful resonant love feels like a heavy weight in her Solar Plexus and Sacral Chakra (third and second chakras) that literally tugs her out of the sky.

This is the thing: in the realm of love, you stand in your own way. You want the feeling of flight and freedom, and you also want to have a deep spiritual connection with someone who can be a partner to you. Somewhere in All That You Are is the belief that you cannot have both freedom and deep love at the same time. That is a source place to begin addressing the sense of not having direction right now. Moreover, there is a core thought pattern somewhere in there lulling you into feeling that freedom can only come at the expense of not manifesting your true Self. Again, there is the pattern that you cannot do both at the same time, when in truth, you cannot have true freedom, love, or growth until you manifest your true Self. In other words, that sense of just floating has lured you into a complacent comfortable state, which is logical. It’s a lot easier to be the passenger than to drive… unless of course you don’t like where things are headed…

The way that you must learn to drive is by learning to move your life force from that space of ideas through your body so that you can completely act on it and create what you want in your life. This act is completely dependent on 1) being conscientious that “active focusing of your own life force” is possible, and 2) setting up your thoughts, beliefs of yourself and the Universe, your way of living, all in support of manifesting your True Self. Believe it, create the space for that belief in your life by weeding out habits, thought patterns, beliefs that oppose it, and the evidence of that belief manifests. I highly suggest seeking the services of an energy worker or someone who can facilitate helping you bring your life force into your body and express it in all that you do. When you tune into yourself at that level, you will not only know the type of person that you are attracted to and want to be with, but you will naturally draw those people to you.

Be well, Nicole!

What a Girl Wants

Question: Dear Kelley ~ I’m Sadia from Pakistan. I’ve read your column on Bridgett’s site. I like it. I would be grateful if you would help me out. My d.o.b is 13th Jan 1985. I’m going through a lot in life. I lost my dad 7 years back. At the age of about 11 I found out that I was adopted. There’s a guy who I’ve been with for about 4 years. We fell in love, but there were a lot of family issues involved. He had to marry another girl. I was kinda devastated but didn’t show it. In fact I encouraged him to marry her. Now the situation is that things are not going well – they fight a lot. There are compatibility problems that may lead to divorce. I want to know is there any chance for us to get back together, as we still love each other but don’t show it. Will wait for your reply. Thanx~ Sadia

Thank you for your note, Sadia. When I ask to see your relationship to this man, I see 3 masculine relationships in your life all tangled up. I see an aspect of you with a cord coming from your solar plexus up into the sky, attached to three different men who are very comfortable and benevolent masculine archetypes for you. Two of those archetypes are paternal and one of them is this man. The image is of you standing on the ground with these three male “spirit kites” connected to you, but so tangled together that none of them can fly. It feels as though you were very close to your father, and a great deal of your security was in him and not in yourself. As a result of that, you haven’t let him go since his death, so that he can transition to the next part of his path, or so that you can transition into the next part of yours. This reluctance to let him go and develop your own masculine “fatherly” side has presented a stagnation in connecting with other males in your life–lovers, friends, family…. I work with the cords a bit until each separates into its own cord connected to you. Two of the kites disappear, until you are left only with a cord connecting you to your father. The aspect of you voluntarily cuts the cord to him, and your father passes on to Spirit very peacefully. As he does, your aspect is so happy that she dances. Your father is still with you as a spiritual guide, there to help you stand on your own.

My feeling about this man is that you can choose to pursue him, but that given releasing your father’s spirit and as a result balancing out how you give and receive masculine energy with other males in your life, you will find this man to be a great deal more needy and clingy than what you really want in a lover. Your sense of him will change. He seems to need a lot of healing and balancing of his own energy, especially after the dissolution of his marriage. He will be very egocentric in working out his feelings of low self-worth, and in discerning the need to stand in his own truth regarding what he really wants in life. He may even be hostile towards you. My feeling is that you will be quickly (or already are) over this guy, and the more comfy you feel being your own masculine stability will tire of his inconsistency. Be careful of catering to the habit of need, when what you truly want is balanced love.

Be well, Sadia.

Anam Cara and Agreement of Souls

Hi Kelley, Could you please look into what’s been going on with me and this gentleman. We just met a few weeks ago. He’s going thru a divorce but we seem to really like each other. I’m already panicking because I feel I can have very strong feelings for this guy. I need to know if I should run now or if it’s going to be good for both of us. I very much appreciate your insights. Thank you, Venus.

Thank you for your note, Venus. The atmosphere around you both is quite stirred up right now–his in general, and yours internally. Many things have need to be settled. The focus I have is on you and a deeper fear, not related to the possibility of NOT having him, but to the possibility that you very well may. This fear seems to be related to the process of moving through the chaos. At the fore of this chaos are trust issues that you have not moved through in prior relationships, and/or when you put the energy out to move through them, your trust was violated [again]. As a result, you just quit going there. This fear is actually very longstanding for you, and is not related to this new love interest or the ‘drama’ around his divorce. I sense this tension has come up for you before in the early stages of romantic feelings. However, the intensity of this kind of connection to someone who is still legally and emotionally wrapping up ties from a previous relationship is pushing these old buttons for you. It seems that while you want deep love, you are more comfortable with superficial relations. With this man that comfort zone and your own feelings are being quite challenged. It is the right time for you to feel this anxiety about deeper love, and to move through it into healing.

I am not getting a clear indication of romantic involvement with this man, but definitely that he is a spiritual catalyst to urge you to address this longstanding fear. Quite often the people we are quite connected to come as anam cara, which in the Irish Celtic mystical path is a “soul friend”. This connection could be romantic, but not necessarily. The emphasis of this connection is on getting soul work done, not on the relationship, itself. In other words, what you have not aligned with your soul’s intent to accomplish on your path (due to karmic blocks, past traumas etc), your anam cara will put you front and center in the place on your path to get it done. Such is the agreement of souls.

In meeting and developing feelings for this man a healing process within you has already begun with regard to this trust issue. It is this process to which you must give your attention first, the relationship possibilities later. Step back from the relationship prospect a bit, and see if you can get a glimmer of what this man’s presence is trying to teach you, or draw your attention to, in terms of healing this wound. What feelings has it brought up for you? What fears? Realizing that your fears very much hold the insight for how to move through them, call your fears into a form with which you can have a dialogue. Ask your fear to share with you its own life purpose. Ask your fear to share with your its source (event, exchange, relationship, if you don’t already know). Now ask it to tell you what it *would* be doing if it wasn’t manifesting as your fear. Knowing this information, how would *your* life be if you could release this fear and let it move on to fulfill its own life purpose? Through this dialogue with your fear, you will gain insight into how to move forward.

When I ask your guides for insight about this, I see you kneeling down, happily putting together a very large puzzle. What is significant about this action is you take the puzzle apart and put it together several different ways, and it works each way! You have exquisite skill in manifesting compassion for yourself and others (this man), and in manifesting the balance and wholeness you inherently possess. Your comfort zone will expand to include deep love. I have no doubt that however you choose to move through your process right now, your choice will be what is right for you. However you meditate and connect with your soul’s wisdom, give the dictation of the direction of your path to her. With her you are in the best hands. Be well!