Dear Kelley, Do you have any general advice for me and my husband? Many Thanks, Alyse
Thank you for your note, Alyse. The general feeling I get between you and your husband is a deep genuine love. I have a sense of that being clouded by some philosophical issues, that are really charged for you both. It feels like when two people are deeply in love, and are from different religions, or different cultures. Yes, the love is real, but dogma that is deeply entrenched (in you both) is taking precedence right now. Whatever the spin there, what is at its center is a philosophical conflict, a visceral disagreement on how something should be carried out. An aspect that seems to be making it harder for you both is that in a previous life, you were both of the same philosophy, same religion-same team, however that is manifesting. So there is this sort of energetic and cellular history that you are both drawing on, in which you both agreed wholly, and because of the bonus “sameness”, your life was a lot more harmonious. That past context is making it really difficult for him to understand where you are coming from in the present. He is used to you just agreeing. Likewise, you are so very used to agreeing with him from this shared past, that you are somewhat surprised, yourself, at the level of discord, and you are very pained about it. You feel the need to change an aspect of yourself because you do truly love him, and yet feel like you would be radically compromising a part of your truth, to do so.
That’s no small potatoes. In spiritual lingo, that would be a challenge ranked right up there with a Twin Flame experience. You are certainly challenging each other to grow, even if it means the physical relationship has to bend, or possibly break, to allow it. It is the fostering of each other to grow, and of yourself to grow, that must take precedence. That doesn’t mean that the relationship can’t sustain a good bend, or that you can’t grow individually, together. It just means that you have to be willing, each of you, to take that risk. In the past, I see that you have in some very strong ways given up bits of yourself to make relationships work. I see that also as having been a facet of your past life and current relationship with your husband. Greater facets of your being are not going to tolerate that anymore. Whether that is your soul, your High Self, or All of the Above That You Are, you are having a real shove to stand in what is your truth, not just with your husband, but in Life, period. I do not know what the outcome of that will be. I encourage you to really take some time to hold space for your Truth to emerge clearly to you. It may not be as divergent from his philosophy as you think. It may reveal that his perspective is something you want no part of. Nothing short of intense knowing of yourself, and creative problem solving is going to help you with this.
Honor that it’s time for you to be You. Make that the main focus of your existence right now. Other people may not like it, but you will grow so much from that knowledge. Be well, Alyse.