A few weeks ago, something happened that I’ve been reticent to openly discuss.
Kelley, my husband and I are taking care of his mother in our home. She is not well and on hospice. He is barely working due to the economy and is having an extremely hard time coping. I rely on my deep faith and metaphysical beliefs to keep going, and try at all costs to inspire my husband. Is there anything about this situation I need to know to assist him with all of these life transitions? Thank you for your insight. Deborah
Thanks for your inquiry, Deborah. When I look down over this dynamic, I see that you are keeping a good bit of etheric distance from your mother-in-law and husband, and keep to yourself a lot more than usual. You aren’t avoiding anyone, just creating a wide berth for everyone else to have space they need in your home and to keep intrusions into your own space a minimum. For you, allowing others their space is a gift, partly because you treasure solitude and space so much, but also because you understand what growth can come from time alone. Your mother-in-law is not etherically capable of that kind of self-work right now. All she can do is hold it together, and that’s a big drain on you, your husband, and your space. Get others involved in keeping her entertained and engaged. Ask loved ones and your community to come have a meal with her, or read to her. Find volunteer groups if you have to, pet services who visit people who are house-bound. Spread this need around as much as you can, not just for your own sanity but because your mother-in-law needs diverse healthy life forces around her right now. Schedule weekly visits from friends so that you can have your alone time and reboot.
Your husband needs others to help, too. He is taking so much on himself and feels it’s his duty to be everything his mother needs. While understandable, it’s not possible. One thing you can do to help him is get your loved ones and community involved, ASAP. Like your mother-in-law, he isn’t able to lift the household vibe right now. He can, however, be more active in how he holds his mindspace, and that may need to be addressed. Regardless, he doesn’t have the etheric ability to support the collective. It’s right that he focus on maintaining himself right now. You have an emotional reserve to draw on, to feed you, and right now he doesn’t. Even under sunny skies, you are the emotional trendsetter in your household. Where you are is where everyone else is. You have the ability to set the pace for all involved, which to large degree means you have the responsibility to.Particularly right now, when you aren’t feeling the direct blow that your husband is. The balance for you lies in finding how much you can cheerlead and knowing when you need to step back and give yourself a break. I’m not suggesting you be quiet or demure, just remember that your strength is in how you hold and create your space. And as you get familiar with that you sill start to see how personally empowering working with your etheric space is.
Your husband doesn’t have a solid foundation to process the things happening in his life now, but he’s not going the route of the stoic. He is actually questioning from where he draws strength and faith, and is shifting his beliefs based on this experience. As well, he will rise to your emotional status. He learns from you, even if he doesn’t express it as so.
Your power lies in exerting your etheric field instead of withdrawing it. Now is the time for your intuitive gifts to come to the fore, not only for your own sanity’s sake, but for the benefit of the group dynamic, too. I see the center of your home is very active elementally. It would be a great place for you to work with your space, to invite the land elders, Nature spirits and any other light creatures who wants to help your household. Make your home sacred space. Always remember that you have etheric help to call on as much as friends and loved ones. Ask these beings to help you hold the space. Ask them how to arrange your space to better facilitate the changes in it and your lives right now. Ask them what plants or stones can be allies in your space right now, and in what rooms they should go. Revisit this bond with your home spirits a couple of times a week and keep that relationship active and manifesting in your home. It will do wonders to alleviate stress and move you all closer to needed improvement. This ritual of observance and awareness will also radically strengthen your intuitive skills and your marriage.
Along that line, your husband and yourself need to take time, alone. If it’s not possible to do over night, at least go on a date together. This partner alone time needs to be a priority on a regular basis. He really needs to feel and stay bonded with you, even if his earthly consciousness acts or speaks otherwise.
Hang in there, Deborah. Remember that you can ask help of your allies, physical and spiritual. Your intuition is great. Go with it. Your space and your family are demanding that you come out of the broom closet.