Tag: ethics

Healing the PTSD of Hurtful Etheric Caregiving

Kelley, I found you through Soul Cafe. Yesterday I had a horrendous experience with a sound healer. I felt he did not listen to me, passed judgement on me, left me feeling hurt, angry, abused, terribly alone, and misunderstood. He talked a lot and no sound healing took place. In trying to make sense of this and reviewing the session I feel he was very harshly teaching me a lesson about there being no one able to save me but myself, that I have all the power to do so. What is it about me that creates situations where I always feel isolated, different, not heard properly? I seem unable to communicate clearly. In that session I quite literally lost my voice. I keep getting stuck in cycles where I begin to blossom and then wither, and experience loss. More than the loss of the person there is the pain of looking at the situation and having to contemplate how wrong I was about everything, all the positive signs. How can I return on my path? How can I pick myself up again? Best wishes, Sam

Thanks for your note, Sam. I’m sorry that you experienced such judgement from a supposed healer. I wholly trust your assessment of the situation, and I’m glad that you do, too. Although this previous Q&A isn’t the same as what you experienced, the underlying necessity of etheric work having meaning for the client persists.   Not only could he not address your concerns, he couldn’t meet you where you are.  I’m sure the harsh things he said to you did urge you into a different, more aware energetic space. The thing is, he could have ushered you into that space without judgement, fear, and now PTSD, and that’s the part that really chaps me. Not only did he not meet his obligation to you in the healing, but the whole session didn’t have to be that way.

When I ask your guides to reveal the resonant thread in this experience, they flick that guy in the ear. As well, they deeply urge you to find and connect with a spiritual community of peers, benevolent beings not necessarily on the same path you are, but those who can compassionately witness your growth and allow you to witness theirs. At some point we all need like-minded others who can help us hold the space–our own space and that which we hold in All That Is.  We’re not meant to hold it alone all the time.  This guy reinforced to you that not only are you supposed to hold it alone all the time, but that there is something wrong with you if you don’t.  You came to him asking for help doing just that, and he let you down then kicked you for being down.

Finding like-hearted folk will help you heal from this ‘healing’ experience. I respect that you are a spiritual person and you look to the soulful education in all experiences. This drive to find the light in all things carries you. The hurt that this man inflicted is real and needs to be released. As you describe, he was only the most recent experience in a long chain of loss. Because the hurt he inflicted is so fresh, healing this hurt can provide a release for the entire pattern. The guy didn’t have a message for you, bless him. He was the message:  It’s time to release feeling stuck in a pattern of hurt and loss.

In the New Age is the sentiment that we all heal ourselves. While I do believe that, the statement is incomplete. We can’t heal what we aren’t aware of, and we can’t heal with skills we don’t have.  Sadly, numerous energy workers  cling to the idea that we should all just know what we need.  To me the inability of a healer to fill that informational gap shows at minimum a lack of education in the ability to teach the needed skills, and at most a lack of compassion in helping at a more human level. With some healers there is so much emphasis on the spiritual, that more mundane needs go unmet. Wounds happen on all levels, and so does healing.

I do encourage you to connect with others, and through references find a healer who can compassionately assist you on your path.  If at all possible, find someone with the skills to help you process what comes up in the work you are doing.  If a healer can’t help you with skills to cope with the emotional depths, ask them for a reference to a professional who can.  Depending on where you are, I would love to work with you–in-person or remotely.  Also, there are a couple of things that would be helpful for you to do for yourself:

  • Alone in a quiet, meditative space, imagine going back to that session. See it in full detail–the moment you walked in the door, the sounds, the scents, the way it felt, when you met him. Be the experience again, only this time you have your voice. As the experience unfolds, say the things you needed to say to that guy and couldn’t. Let him know how you feel about the way he is treating you and about his role as an energy worker. Thank him for the growth you’ve had as a result of meeting him, and see yourself walk out the door. When you feel grounded in your body, open your eyes and take a few deep breaths.
  • Another thing is, your guides are very close to you and are very in tune with what you really need. They are available to inform you on direction in your spiritual growth. Imagine meeting them in a similar fashion as above. Alone in a quiet, meditative space, see yourself in the most comfortable, serene Nature space that you can conceive. Notice how it feels, how it smells, the atmosphere. As you sit and enjoy the space, hold in thought that you allow your guides to come. They may be humanoid higher beings, animal or plant totems. Just sit with what comes and observe. If and when it feels appropriate, ask them questions. They can be a bit tricky about interviews, so tread lightly and keep it mostly to observation. Do this everyday for a week or two. The closer you come to your spirit guides, the more you will attract a solid spiritual community in form.

Cheers for you, Sam. You’re onto something great!


Intuition and the Ethics of Prophecy

Kelley- Recently, a new intuitive friend revealed that he had a vision about a horrific crime happening in my home. In roughly nine months, a man randomly breaks into my home to rob me for quick cash. This man realizes that we are in the home–myself, and my daughter–and he ties me up and then rapes my daughter in front of me. The young girl my friend describes seeing doesn’t match my daughter. However, I have an identical twin sister with a daughter who quite matches it.

Crystal Gazing

Crystal Gazing

Over all, he left me with a terrible vision of something that may happen to myself or my sibling. I just can’t fathom this crime, yet I don’t want to ignore the warning either. Can you give me any advice? Carolyn

I generally don’t give advice, Carolyn, but in this case, I suggest getting a new friend, most definitely a new intuitive. The fact that he would so carelessly deliver to you such graphic yet vague information indicates that he isn’t very grounded, and that he isn’t showing you compassion. Now, I’ll tear myself away from my knee jerk reaction long enough to give you an actual balanced, intuitive response.

A lot of people ask me the difference between psychics and shamans–and I admit–I’m being very general here. Anyone can see. Anyone. Whether someone can stand on the conviction of his or her intuition to do so in the service of others, is another matter. What makes someone a shaman, a healer, a conduit between the senses of the form and the senses of ether isn’t just seeing that connection but also knowing what to do with the information that comes. Not everyone can find the cord connecting the fantastic with its mundane anchor. My measure of progress with every client is that my work must have meaning for their daily lives, else I’ve not done my job. Regardless of what I see, however tragic, joyful, or ethereal, past, present or potential future, it’s my role to understand how the vision relates to the client in the moment. Sometimes things come in a language I don’t understand, but the client does. Or sometimes neither of us understands the language, but both feel the significance of the message. What matters is that on some level of the client’s being a cord was plucked, and its vibration evoked power. What your friend did to you was disempowering, akin to cosmic gossip. The cord he plucked was fear, and it jarred your peaceful connection with All Things.

Something else to keep in mind is that all glimpses of the future are merely glimpses of potential outcomes. People who truly walk between worlds are both confident and humble enough to know that everything is mutable. Every thought, every choice, every action we make shapes potential outcomes. There is no one potential outcome–there are an infinite number of potential outcomes for every consciousness on this planet. That means there is no one future.

As for what your friend saw, I hold visions as equally literal and metaphoric, one having no more significance than the other. Bless it and let it go. Who can say the reason for what he saw? Not I, and at this point, not even himself. Every moment that passes changes who we are, our life force, our potential… Were he to read you now, you would not be the same person he read then. Given that, I can’t validate or invalidate what he saw. I can tell you with my barest truth that it was but one potential outcome of an infinite number of possibilities. With that in mind, I ask your guides how you need to move forward from this experience. Without hesitation, the Osage elder who comes tells me your need is to develop your own intuition, and to learn to release what energy you take on from others. In other words, focus on setting etheric boundaries. He says this in regard to your friend, and others like him, who do not have good etheric boundaries and thrive on creating drama in the lives of others. This friend is not a bad person, but he has behaved carelessly with you, and likely others. I highly suggest looking to an intuitive who is more grounded, someone who knows how to process charged information and help you hold it in a way that empowers your ability to make choices in your present.

Focus on expanding your own intuition and let that be what leads you. And remember, the Universe loves you. The Universe is trustworthy. The Universe is looking after you.

Be well, Carolyn.