Tag: dreams

Divine Androgyny and Projecting Power

My husband dreamt that we were lying down, then I lifted and floated up. He called to me and reached to pull me down, but couldn’t. There was no mention of me responding in any way. What does this dream mean? Thanks, Sally.

Thanks for your note, Sally. The way I look at dreams for others happens on several levels. First, I hold in my intention the symbols of the dream, along with any feelings they evoke. Then I hold the perspective of the consciousness creating this dream, which is in this case, that of your husband. As it is you who is asking about the dream and not him, my ability to connect with that state of his consciousness is limited, if only from a standpoint of permission.

Dream Catcher, artist unknown

Dream Catcher, artist unknown

That said, what I take from my view of this dream is that your husband experiences a great deal of his feminine power through you, rather than through himself. He relies on you to create nurture, foster growth, and feed on all levels–mundane as well as spiritual–in your relationship and household. This separation of roles on a spiritual level is the result of our culturation on mundane levels, and is very common. Our modern consciousnesses have become very detached from the understanding that each of us carries inner feminine, masculine, children, animals, song… However, when we project the strengths of ourselves externally, we become weak. Whether that is a woman seeking the masculine qualities she holds dearest in a male counterpart, the expectation that a hawk as totem will guide us to our dream job, or a man seeking mothering from a male who is very balanced in his feminine, the outcome is the same. These are all examples of investing our power in something besides ourselves.

What I see happening in your husband’s dream is that he has allowed you to embody his feminine aspect. He has given away an element of his power to you. We all fashion our internal cast of archetypal characters by the examples we see around us. At some point we must become aware of how we carry this cast. In your husband’s case, this dream signifies that on some level he realizes he needs to incorporate more feminine qualities in his self-talk, his self-care, because as you drift from him in the dream, he attempts to retain you. He is afraid to be without you because he wouldn’t have an internal feminine aspect. That puts a lot of pressure on you, which again, isn’t uncommon in our contemporary lives. While many people are flattered on an ego level by being viscerally needed, they don’t understand that the need eventually becomes a drain taking a toll on all involved. In the end, it weakens the relationship rather than strengthens it. In this case, it is imperative for your husband to cultivate aspects of the feminine divine within. If he doesn’t understand what that balance means, a recent post by Jeff Brown, Apologies to the Divine Feminine (from a warrior in transition) may be a good place to start. When we honor that Divine Feminine power exists, it becomes easier to see it within ourselves. As well, as your husband approaches middle age or if this dream is a response to approaching middle-age, this softening to the feminine will begin on its own. Mid-life is the great gender leveler, biologically and spiritually. It introduces Divine Androgyny and the qualities of that neutral state to us all.

This dream is information for you both to examine just what needs you fulfill for each other, compared to what needs you should be fulfilling for yourselves. Consider speaking with him about this and devising a ritual for bringing a balance of power back to your relationship. If you seek suggestions for such a ritual, feel free to contact me.

Be well, Sally!

Two Dreams, One Truth

I am frequently asked about dreams and how I interpret them. I recently had a night of sequential dreams, which after contemplation, I discovered had the same message. The dreams were straightforward and easy to understand, and gave great insight into how the unconscious never gives up on helping us to understand our needs.

Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the actions stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living. ~Anais Nin

In the first dream I decided to call someone I’ve been out of contact with, by choice, for years. My heart was light, giddy even, and I found that the words I needed came without effort. When he answered, I told him who I was and asked if we could talk. He greeted me, then replied clearly, though firmly that he was busy and couldn’t talk. I knew immediately that he wasn’t busy at all, but that he didn’t want to talk with me. From the point of deciding to call him I knew that he may not be responsive, and that was OK. I told him that was fine, wished him well, and hung up. For whatever reason his sister was suddenly beside me, and she told me that he had a lot of disdain for me and didn’t want anything to do with me. My dreaming mind instantly recognized her as the “wet blanket person,” the voice always willing to tear down a good situation. She said several derogatory things that weren’t true about me, though it didn’t matter. I was really happy to have made contact with him, no matter how it went, and I fully respected his right not to interact.

My Life, The Stage

My Life, The Stage

The second dream found me standing at a port waiting to board an ocean liner, at the start of my high school reunion trip. Everyone was formally dressed, with all of the women wearing cranberry-colored dresses and the men in black tuxes. I was very excited about the trip and about seeing everyone again. It was also fun to be dressed up, and I doted on my hair. Everyone greeted each other happily and posed for pictures. Frequently, I peered anxiously at the enormous vessel waiting to carry us all toward some great destination. I couldn’t wait to go! Our luggage was already on the ship, and we waited to board. I slipped into the restroom briefly, and when I came back out everyone was gone. Only one other girl remained, and a helicopter was arriving momentarily to take her to the ship to meet the others. I ran around furiously telling the port attendants that I was supposed to be on the ship, as well, that my luggage was already there. They didn’t seem to believe me at first, then once they did, they insisted there was no way they could get me there. The dream faded with me standing at the port, realizing that I wouldn’t be going on my grand trip.

Before I was even fully awake, I realized that both dreams were about not getting desired outcomes. What I couldn’t understand was why the dreams were so different. In the first one, the conversation didn’t go as I’d wanted, but I walked away from it feeling good, confident, grateful. It was an event that I initiated, and with the exception of its cool reception, had full control over. There was no indication that there would ever be another conversation, no eventual happy ending. There was no analysis of who said what and what it really meant. Even when the sister attempted to mar the moment, I still saw the exchange for the great thing that it was. I felt good for having had the interaction, regardless. The second dream was something else, entirely. I felt terrible when I realized I wasn’t going on the trip. Moreover, the logistics of my luggage taking the trip without me–hence, every possession I held dear and may never see again–was very distressing. I was excited, had gotten my hair done, gotten a brand new dress… This was an event that I was not in charge of. I wasn’t responsible for it playing out. All I had to do was pay my way and get myself to the right place at the right time, which I did precisely. At no point in my preparation for the event did it occur to me that the event would fall through or that I wouldn’t be able to go. Yet, that’s exactly what happened.

Why was it OK not to receive a desired outcome in one dream but not the other? What was the reason that I was so distressed about things not working out the way I’d planned in the second dream? What made it OK that the interaction didn’t go the way I’d wanted in the first dream? I walked around for the next day in a fog, using every approach I could think of to wrap my mind around the dreams. It wasn’t until I lay down to sleep the next night and gotten into a reasonably peaceful hypnagogic state that it hit me. I had been looking at the outcome of the dreams as the indicator for my state of being–grateful or upset. I wasn’t looking at my state of being before the events in the dreams as a determining factor in their outcomes. Because I had no attachment to the outcome in the first dream, it didn’t matter what the outcome was. I was going to feel good after, no matter what happened, because I accepted ahead of time that it would not affect how I felt. There was no emotional attachment involved. It could be exactly the balanced exchange that I wanted, the exchange could have been hurtful, or there could be no exchange at all. My wellbeing was not reliant on the outcome.

The second dream was another story. I had invested in the cruise. I paid money, I took time off work, I purchased items to ensure my great time on the trip. Even though the cruise wasn’t my original idea, I was emotionally invested in it coming to pass. I couldn’t conceive of the cruise not happening. Because I couldn’t conceive of it not happening, I was entirely attached to it happening. I was emotionally reliant on one outcome.

So what’s the moral of the archetypal story? Seek balance in all things. If I’m balanced, I can be well with any outcome. Does that mean I shouldn’t put effort into outcomes, or be excited about potential outcomes? Not at all. In fact, excitement and passion are what drive outcomes into being. The trick is not to get all of my hopes and aspirations tied to a specific outcome. I understand the message from my unconscious mind, and I feel its truth. Now to practice hopeful detachment.

Granny and the Skywalker

I have been on a journey since my Grandmother passed away in August of 2007. There are moments where I have felt crazy, but I know that she is with me and wants me to do something. What that is and ‘why me’ are constant questions. I also see other relatives that have passed on in my dreams. They talk to me, but I can never remember what was said when I awaken. Any idea why my dreams are so lucid, or what Granny wants? Thanks, MM!

Thanks for your note, MM. Sometimes those out of form see things about us that we don’t, intuitively, and your grandmother and thought that showing you something about yourself, rather than just telling, would have more impact. Apparently it did. Your grandmother said that she was lingering help you realize your powerfully innate skill for moving between worlds. She saw this light in you from her vantage point on ‘the other side,’ though she always knew you saw the world differently–a detail that may indicate that she was a lucid dreamer, too. The relatives you’ve seen off and on have truly been visiting you in dreams. For some the skill of ‘starwalking,’ or ‘skywalking,’ as it’s sometimes called, first presents itself through the frequency of spirit visitors in waking, or an odd sense of knowing. For you it has revealed itself in lucid dreaming. Cultivate this skill, and you can program specific dreams that allow you to be more active in your awareness and resolve conflicts. Spirit communication is easily done via dreaming. You can even “bring things back” from dreams, which is an ancient approach to Law of Attraction and manifestation. Dreaming isn’t just a passive adventure, but a valuable tool in empowering the connection between your unconscious and conscious being.

The facet of your grandmother that I met with moved on well. However, you can still meet with her anytime. Cognisant dreaming occurs in the REM level of sleep, or during the theta brainwave state, which can also be achieved when you are awake. If you want to learn more about lucid dreaming, there are some wonderful books on the subject, and about dreamwalking in general. One that I really like is Don Juan and the Art of Sexual Energy: The Rainbow Serpent of the Toltecs by Merilyn Tunneshende. Don Juan and the Art of Sexual Energy: The Rainbow Serpent of the Toltecs by Merilyn Tunneshende A more thorough mastery of theta, itself, is learning ecstatic, or shamanic journey, in which you train the mind to reach theta then will an aspect of yourself out to engage with the spirit world. This approach should be learned from someone who has already mastered this skill. I don’t advocate learning it from a book. Many find learning lucid dreaming challenging, though you have an advantage there. Furthering your dreaming ability would give your more options, though the skill of shamanic journey has an added bonus, in that your dreamstate becomes more easily navigable as you find comfort moving about the spirit realm. However you proceed, MM, I wish you wild star travels, and see you out there!

The Inner Becomes the Outer

Kelley, I had a dream that a card was given to me by a man I know, and it said “To my wife.” I have also dreamed about this man before, almost a year ago, and he was lying beside me, looking at me with such love. The feeling when I woke up was so good, but I am married. What does this mean? Thank you, C.

Thanks for your note, C. This man mirrors a facet of your masculine self that your higher consciousness is indicating wants attention. I don’t feel that the man in your dreams is readily connected with the man, as you know him in waking, at all. Rather, there is a discrepancy between the masculine as you experience it in the world, and how you experience it in your dreaming, higher state. When I say dreaming, I don’t mean made up, idealized, or all in your head. I mean your inner landscape, your personal mythology, symbols, archetypes. Where this discrepancy creates conflict for you is that you like the inner masculine better than the one you experience in the world around you, and rightfully so. I feel that difference, and I don’t blame you for wanting some better one bit. Your higher awareness is sending you dream images of a benevolent, balanced, compassionate man because that is what you crave in waking. You need to have that lovely, grounded masculine that you experience internally to manifest in the world around you. This doesn’t just mean you need this in your life partner, but in your relationship to Masculine, as a concept. I don’t see that your marriage is in trouble, though you have reached a point in your personal growth and awareness that needs a masculine complement. Now is a good time to speak your new relationship needs, and to determine if your relationship can meet them. It may be that expanding your circle to like-minded others for regular social engagement takes some of that pressure off your relationship.

Tao, Yin and Yang

Tao, Yin and Yang

Your need for this nurturing masculine to manifest isn’t going to go away. Clear out any unsupportive, outmoded concepts that you have regarding the masculine, on all levels–husband, brother, father, son, Divine Masculine… Hold in thought regularly through the day how good this internal masculine leaves you feeling, and allow space in your life and beliefs for it to come to you in form. The ability to hold onto good feelings is what brings them into being.

This need is not just about your personal life, but how you react to a general climate of cultural misogyny and gender bias that you can no longer carry inside or foster outside. It’s been challenging you for some time now in your spiritual path and wider family dynamic. There is a call to be more on the outside what you feel on the inside. Remember that you are completely, thoroughly supported to be exactly who you are.

Catching Dreams, Decoding Paths

Kelley, I had a devastating breakup with my partner. The last 10 months have been the worst of my life; however, I am healing and things are going better. I would like to relax and open up, but I have some anxiety because I have had sleep paralysis episodes since I was a child and find them frightening. Any advice on how to move forward? Thank you, Shelley

Thanks for your note, Shelley. Sleep paralysis in child intuitives is very common, particularly for those of us who grew up without tribal support or insightful education of what they are. As a child, you had intense shifts of consciousness in your sleep, the sort of experience in which just as you were about to unravel something significant, just as you were about to grasp some deeper understanding, just as your higher consciousness was about to push some wisdom down to your Earthly consciousness, you would begin to wake. The unfamiliar sensations and shifting of your life force as this was happening, your brain processed as panic and fear. However, as an adult your spiritual quest has shown you that it doesn’t have to be this way. You now know that you can allow higher insight from yourself and guides, and such a delivery doesn’t have to be traumatic.

My suggestion is that you learn ecstatic, or shamanic, journeying. My sense is that you are a natural star

Dream Catcher, artist unknown

Dream Catcher, artist unknown

traveler, but you need to learn the mechanism of how to do it thoroughly and safely. I’ve taught these classes for several years, and one thing that is a pleasant side effect of them is that your lucid dreamstate becomes far more negotiable and navigable. The more you study techniques to move into a theta brainwave (cognisant dreaming) willfully, the less you are afraid. Learning to approach trance from a shamanic perspective will enable this ease, as well as teach you boundaries in interspiritual communication. I expect that when you learn ecstatic trance techniques, you will eventually (or perhaps spontaneously) learn to widen that gap of consciousness in your lucid dreaming state, and you will get the significant information, the symbols, the next step in the direction your soul is leading you.

If you’re near NC, I am teaching an intro to journeying class in the next couple of months. I’d love to meet you! Blessed travels, Shelley!

Burning Down Boundaries

Kelley, I dreamt that my house was on fire when I came home. And, if I’m not mistaken, when I came back out to my car, that was on fire also. What does this mean? I’ve been going through a break up and have realized some things and am trying to make some changes in my life. I read at dream dictionary.com that this means, I will be changing in some sort of way. Is there any way for you to elaborate on this for me? Thank you, Laurice

Thanks for your note, Laurice. As the phoenix rises from the ash, so do you. We are quite accustomed to seeing fire as a catabolic force, the most destructive element, capable of rendering something utterly unlike its former self. The way you ground yourself, where you have found creature comforts needs to change. You have created a cocoon of safety, that while it served you well in the past, limits you now. These self-created boundaries are leaving you, and the more you can flow with that energy the less painful it will be. After fire comes silence, still stability to build upon. There are no distractions. No partners to leech energy, no living into the past and wondering why the present never fully manifests. This is your time to truly see yourself at base levels. The Universe has opened a window of clarity to allow you this insight. Consider the fires of your dreams campfires by which you sit nightly and release, plan, so that by the golden light of day you act, you are as you truly want to be.

Lost, Together

“This is the place that you all made together so that you could find one another. The most important part of your life was the time that you spent with these people. That’s why all of you are here. Nobody does it alone, Jack. You needed all of them, and they needed you.” Christian Shepard, “The End,” ABC’s Lost

Since childhood, three things have been consistent of my dream life: lucid dreaming, continuously dreaming of structures invisible to others, and dreaming of reuniting with specific loved ones. As I’ve literally moved through life, the hidden structures of my dreamscape are reflected in the geographies that have left the deepest impressions on me–some formed places, and some I’ve experienced only in other planes. Most of those spaces have hosted reunions with loved ones. For years I dreamt of rejoining with friends from grade school, clearly an era etched into my mind, though we had all aged through college and beyond. Now I dream mostly of heartfelt gatherings with family and specific lifelong friends, as well as the international convening of my Live Journal Friends List to stage a world intervention.

Lost:  The End

Stained Glass from ABC's Lost: The End

I admit, that until I began to see relationships affirmed and soothed nearing the finale, I was as eager for answers from ABC’s Lost as any viewer. I’ve watched the show from the beginning, though not always with raucous support or zeal. I still have my questions, and loads of criticisms about what curiosities were answered and what questions cropped up at the close. Regardless, I’m comfortable with its sense of mutable time, shifting places, sticky science, and divergent consciousnesses. Maybe that’s why the inconsistencies of Lost don’t disquiet me–the way I experience Life is full of such–a constant struggle to hold spiritual truth in balance with tactile logic and making peace when I lose. What really drew the message of the series together for me were the words of Jack’s father, describing the reunion dreams I’ve had lifelong about the people who have really touched me at a level deeper than I can do justice in words. Instantly, I was struck by the possibility that in my Dreamtime gatherings, perhaps I am dreaming into being that final place of peace in this plane, where I can witness my own rest, as well as that of those I love. Perhaps I will have that fantastic moment where everyone I have ever loved across the scape of my life can huddle together at once. I can think of no better farewell to this plane.

So while everyone (except the cool people on SoulPancake) is commiserating about purgatory and why Krishna was on the wall of the church, why the final scene was in a church at all, and was Ji Yeon a candidate… I feel affirmed in the ability of my unconscious to show me through my dreamstate the souls who have moved me most, and through a television series that has reiterated a shadow truth we all carry: the one thing we take with us are our connections to each other.

Dreaming Freedom

Kelley, I’ve been dreaming about my son’s father. In the dreams, he doesn’t speak to me and is with other women. In reality, we haven’t spoken in about ten years. Why am I dreaming of him? In the last dream, he spoke to me and was almost comforting and loving. Please help me understand this. Thank
you, M.

Thank you for your note, M. My sense is that there has been energetic closure regarding your relationship, within him, you, or both. What I see is a dynamic completed, and all connections set to neutral. This state is the best possible accomplishment in any relationship. It means that you and/or he are no longer emotionally charged by each other or your past together, and that free movement from now forward is possible. Whatever the two of you agreed to come into this plane to help each other work out is done. You can coexist peacefully now, and move forward in free will.

This balance is something I rarely see, and feel quite blessed to observe it. Thanks for this opportunity!

The Renegade’s Guide to snoring

Kelley–I don’t know if this is particularly shamanic, but I’m an avid dreamer, though rarely can I figure out what my dreams mean. Can you recommend a good guide to dream analysis? Thanks! Compass-less.

Thanks for your note, C. One of my first observations that I was on a different path was in the depths of my dream world. I’ve always been a vivid and lucid dreamer. Recommend a good guide? Sort of. There are two excellent resources for interpreting dreams. The first lies in cultivating the bridge between your conscious and unconscious minds. Dreams can be many things–a mirror of yourself, messages from your unconscious, messages from your body, travels out to/memories of other planes/experiences of yourself, messages from other beings, or visits from other beings. Sometimes a dream is a combination of these. My general approach to decoding my dreams and those of my clients falls mostly in that order. First I determine if the dream was coming from me or another consciousness (Yes, I know, ultimately we’re all one consciousness, but in order to comprehend metaphors and symbols they must be filtered through a coherent legend, which resides in your unique unconscious/conscious mind connection.). Most people who dream prolifically seem to have their own measure for determining the origin of the dream. Myself, I just know. Dreams that don’t come from me feel foreign, to put it simply. The quickest test I can suggest for this determination is to ask your High Self to step into your conscious mind and pose the question, “Did this dream originate from me or from a separate consciousness?” Go with the immediate answer you get, whatever fashion that answer comes in. Depending on that response I go in different directions. If it was my unconscious communicating with me, I consider how the personalities and symbols in the dream are a mirror of myself. By that I mean, I assume that everything in the dream was really me, even if the figures in the dream are other people that I know. From there I break down the archetypes by gender, age, emotional state, physical condition, etc. Even the setting I examine archetypally to decode any message it may need to convey. Probably 80% of my dreams are facets of myself expressing needs or hurts that need to be addressed, or beliefs, habits, relationships, or thought patterns that are no longer functional in my life. By considering that everything in the dream is mirroring some aspect of myself I intercept messages from my unconscious mind or body (which has its own symbolic communication system), not only do I cognate the message, but I “write in” what that symbolism meant so that if it comes up again I have direction right off the bat. Retaining this personal meaning is where keeping a journal is invaluable. Most of the time once I unravel the meaning of a symbol, I don’t dream about it again; thus, recurrent dreams are resolved. Remember, as with all truths, what was meaningful in a certain way one time may be meaningful in a different way subsequently. Even though the symbolism may have been sound at one point in your life, allow yourself the freedom for it to mean new things later. As you grow your consciousness expands. So does how you carry and interpret archetypes.

Frequently I wander off in a dreamstate, which arguably isn’t a dream at all, but perhaps the classic “vision.” Nonetheless, it’s a particular kind of spirit journey that only occurs when I’m sleeping, so I still consider top snoring aids at emsafety.net. In these visions, I experience going out of my body, or perhaps I experience a different manifestation of myself. This could be some simultaneous life, some experience of myself from a past, or perhaps an entirely different plane of existence that I know isn’t Earth. Sometimes I visit someone in this type of dream, or I see things from an animal’s perspective. Again, distinguishing this type of dream for me is typically easy, as I am consciously aware that I’m dreaming. Some consider these journeys “lucid dreams,” in which the dreamer is observing the dream from a detached perspective while also participating in the dream, and directing its progression, to some degree. If you’re not sure if you are wandering out, the same “High Self” test as above is appropriate to do to determine if you are astrally traveling in your sleep.

Another type of dream that I think falls under the category of “vision” involves messages and visits from other consciousnesses. Once you determine that a dream did not originate from your own consciousness the task becomes one of clarifying the message. Perhaps that requires a little research and a bit more skill, very much of the shamanic sort. I find that dictionaries for dreams are one dimensional, at best. Without question I support the collective influence that archetypes and symbols have, and encourage becoming familiar with those across various cultures. However, I feel that stopping there is missing a vital reason for why the symbol visited us. In addition to collective relationships to symbols we experience personal relationships to them, and those meanings are only culled out when we consider the symbol is its own consciousness that has intelligent insight to deliver specifically to us, as individuals. While brown bear may mean protection and confidence as an archetype, to me, specifically it may also carry a message of hope and the ability to sustain through hard times. The way to create those personal bonds with symbols is through meditation and shamanic soul travel.

The second key to understanding your dreams lies in connecting with the feeling they evoke. Feelings are precisely the compass that connect the dream to your waking life. When you can clarify the way a dream left you feeling and see how that feeling manifests in current circumstances you have decoded the symbols of that dream. In that brilliant inner light you can’t get lost.

Be well, C!

Intentional Insights is a Q&A column inviting you to look inside yourself. If you have a question that you would like for me to address in my column regarding a brief Soul Reading or questions about spiritual healing and shamanism, please send them to me at Kelley at soulintentarts dot com, or contact me to schedule a full-length Soul Reading. Intentional Insights is a production of Soul Intent Arts. Follow me on Facebook and Twitter!

Recurring Dreams

I am writing you for someone else. This comes from Ziona, a 70-year-old Gemini Israeli woman. Her question concerns three recurring dreams: The first one was a constant during her 20’s, 30’s and 40’s: She dreamt of waking up late, rushing out of her apartment, dashing down a bustling big city street, then suddenly realizing that she forgot to put her clothes on. At that point, she does her best to hide behind poles, trash cans and other objects, but was always exposed. The dream ends there, with her feeling desperate and exposed. Her second dream has been a constant most of her life and still occurs. She dreams she is flying from tall buildings, across vast canyons, and off of mountains. She feels free and strong and proud. Often times, the dream ends there — but every now and then, her flight goes terribly wrong and she crashes into the ground. Her body convulses and she wakes up with her heart pounding. What do these mean? Ziona

Recurring dreams are powerful, aren’t they?! They certainly are attention-getters, which is exactly what these dreams are demanding of you. My sense of your initial recurring dream is that there is something in life you want badly and hold yourself back from. Reading your second recurring dream indicates that to me even more strongly, more personally. There is no doubt to me in your sense of self and Universes that you are a powerful woman, yet there is an aspect of your path that you have consciously neglected to take. You have an ability that you are fully aware of, but have chosen not to cultivate. Your ability to glide into life and appreciate its beauty is remarkable; however, your ability to willfully direct your flight and create beauty with your abilities is even stronger. You were not made to simply glide and observe. You were made to interact. What is the path of flight you really want to take? Everything you need is already in place to soar on your path, except for your choice to do so. When you commit to and take that path, there will be no need to crash, and you will have broken the need for the recurrance of these dreams. After that point, your dream landscape will open and point you in greater direction to grow. Be well, Ziona!