Tag: Divine Feminine

Divine Androgyny and Projecting Power

My husband dreamt that we were lying down, then I lifted and floated up. He called to me and reached to pull me down, but couldn’t. There was no mention of me responding in any way. What does this dream mean? Thanks, Sally.

Thanks for your note, Sally. The way I look at dreams for others happens on several levels. First, I hold in my intention the symbols of the dream, along with any feelings they evoke. Then I hold the perspective of the consciousness creating this dream, which is in this case, that of your husband. As it is you who is asking about the dream and not him, my ability to connect with that state of his consciousness is limited, if only from a standpoint of permission.

Dream Catcher, artist unknown

Dream Catcher, artist unknown

That said, what I take from my view of this dream is that your husband experiences a great deal of his feminine power through you, rather than through himself. He relies on you to create nurture, foster growth, and feed on all levels–mundane as well as spiritual–in your relationship and household. This separation of roles on a spiritual level is the result of our culturation on mundane levels, and is very common. Our modern consciousnesses have become very detached from the understanding that each of us carries inner feminine, masculine, children, animals, song… However, when we project the strengths of ourselves externally, we become weak. Whether that is a woman seeking the masculine qualities she holds dearest in a male counterpart, the expectation that a hawk as totem will guide us to our dream job, or a man seeking mothering from a male who is very balanced in his feminine, the outcome is the same. These are all examples of investing our power in something besides ourselves.

What I see happening in your husband’s dream is that he has allowed you to embody his feminine aspect. He has given away an element of his power to you. We all fashion our internal cast of archetypal characters by the examples we see around us. At some point we must become aware of how we carry this cast. In your husband’s case, this dream signifies that on some level he realizes he needs to incorporate more feminine qualities in his self-talk, his self-care, because as you drift from him in the dream, he attempts to retain you. He is afraid to be without you because he wouldn’t have an internal feminine aspect. That puts a lot of pressure on you, which again, isn’t uncommon in our contemporary lives. While many people are flattered on an ego level by being viscerally needed, they don’t understand that the need eventually becomes a drain taking a toll on all involved. In the end, it weakens the relationship rather than strengthens it. In this case, it is imperative for your husband to cultivate aspects of the feminine divine within. If he doesn’t understand what that balance means, a recent post by Jeff Brown, Apologies to the Divine Feminine (from a warrior in transition) may be a good place to start. When we honor that Divine Feminine power exists, it becomes easier to see it within ourselves. As well, as your husband approaches middle age or if this dream is a response to approaching middle-age, this softening to the feminine will begin on its own. Mid-life is the great gender leveler, biologically and spiritually. It introduces Divine Androgyny and the qualities of that neutral state to us all.

This dream is information for you both to examine just what needs you fulfill for each other, compared to what needs you should be fulfilling for yourselves. Consider speaking with him about this and devising a ritual for bringing a balance of power back to your relationship. If you seek suggestions for such a ritual, feel free to contact me.

Be well, Sally!

Avatar, Remembering the Divine Feminine

“It’s hard to put in words the deep connection the People have to the forest. They see a network of energy that flows through all living things. They know that all energy is only borrowed… and one day you have to give it back.” ~Jake Sully

I frequently hear people say that the Goddess is returning, to which I respond, “Where do you think She’s been?” I understand the crisis of the soul that feels forsaken by Deity. The ego that needs to see Divinity as having abandoned all of creation to explain its misfortunes perplexes me. In fact, the need to say the Feminine Divine is returning to modern culture from long enigmatic hiatus only perpetuates blame and doesn’t take responsibility for needing to perceive Her as missing to start with.

Pandoran Tree of Souls

Pandoran Tree of Souls

Why we need to interpret Deity by gender, or how much fertile soul growth is denied by ignoring neutrality aside, I should just be grateful that She’s getting play at all. The real issue isn’t that She left. We left Her, and in doing so created an imbalance via patriarchy that gifted us sexism, racism, materialism, and militarism–all of which in Martin Luther King’s words, until we remember to be person-oriented are “incapable of being conquered.” As an animist, I say, we can’t overcome them until we become Life-oriented–that is, until we see All Things as equal and connected, until we realize that we are All One. This is the message I take from James Cameron’s Avatar. The connection to All Things is always there. We can never leave it, we can only drop it from our awareness, and when we do, we devalue ourselves and All Things.

Yes, I’m late to the discussion on Avatar. Despite that, I read a lot on the film’s archetypal philosophies before I knew their context. On the surface, it was easy to see how widely its symbolism and cultural dynamics could be interpreted. I was as skeptical of gurus spouting wisdom on its sincere depiction of returning Goddess culture as I was of yet another “white man learns a few magickal truths from Ethnics, then uses his new power to save them from his culture,” story. About twenty minutes into the film I realized the inherent egotism in those surface judgements, then relaxed and enjoyed the film.

I relaxed when Jake thanked Neytiri for saving him from a pack of night predators, and she replied, “You don’t thank for this! This is sad. Very sad, only.” Instantly, I realized what the film was attempting to accomplish, and subsequently, what it was up against. At that moment a muted recognition settled over the theatre. The audience seemed at peace with the knowledge that the killing was a somber survivalistic necessity, but a dimness obscured that Neytiri’s anguish wasn’t from having to kill. It was from having to kill needlessly. Jake had no respect for the terrain or animals he invaded. Cultural egocentricity and defensiveness severed his connection to All Things. Had he honored Universal life force, he would have never violated the space of the forest; there would have been no killing. The resounding philosophy of connection and honor is the core of balanced Divine Polarity. That message of the human patriarchy invading the thriving Feminine ecostytem trumped every mundane criticism I’d read about the film–military vs savages, technology vs Nature, culture vs culture, patriarchy vs coexistence… The singular reason those other conflicts existed was because of the loss of divine connection.
If viewers see this film and come away with only allegories of returning goddesses and trite interracial conflicts, they are missing the higher message appealing to the subtler mind, which is that we can’t expect the support of Divinity when we don’t cultivate interconnection between ourselves and with the life force of Nature. No, the film isn’t emotionally gripping or highly intellectual. Neither is it preachy or understated. If it was any of those things, its story could not speak directly to the spirit so effectively.

I know why Goddess “went missing.” We didn’t ditch Her because we found a shinier, more flattering deity. We stripped Her from our consciousness because that way of honoring All That Is was under siege, systematically being whittled away until our spirits were defeated, separated. We abandoned Her in order to survive in a brutal climate riddled with fear and defensiveness. These projections of separation we have carried into our present. The differences of culture and tribe, of gender and alignment are part of formed reality. We have to face them. They can’t be evaded in our experience of Earth any more than they could on Pandora. Acknowledging a feminine aspect to Deity is frightening and threatening to many. If we can collectively imagine Woman empowered, there would be no need for any group to remain oppressed, because we would have to face that we are all inherently the same. There would be no more power struggle, no disconnect.

The collective need to experience Life without Her has coincided with the optimal time to remember that each of us is Divine, and in doing so, we are all All. In that single memory our future thrives. Honor Goddess. Until we do, we cannot truly bless Her God.

2010, The Age of The Succulent Feminine

“As above so below. As within so without.” ~Hermesianax, Greek poet

Hi Kelley, I am a middle aged woman who has experienced many changes this decade. Unfortunately, things seem to get worse–job, financial problems, relationships… I feel myself isolating and trust is becoming an issue. I truly don’t know how long I can hang on at my job, and there are few new jobs out there. Finances are difficult. Not sleeping is a problem. I feel blind and blocked. No matter what I do to free myself, things get worse. Thanks… Leea

Thank you for your note, Leea. What I am shown is that you have played by the rules of patriarchy to the point of mastery, and it’s time to invite in and express the feminine way. The underlying feeling of always adapting, never setting the pace, going with the crowd despite the fact that it doesn’t feel natural… These states are all indications that you have well-learned how to function in a linear world with set rules. They are also signs of the feminine giving up power to the masculine, which creates disharmony for both. On a personal level this dynamic creates a space in your daily life, in which you feel that if you could just play the game better, if you could just get that one break, if you could just meet the right person… While predictable and safe, this routine doesn’t serve your deeper needs. It is, in fact, giving away your power.

Feminine Divine, artist unknown

Now on the planet is a sense of the Divine Feminine reawakening. Where has she been? Right here, actually. But the way we live doesn’t acknowledge her, which means that we don’t honor our natural rhythms. We all know about the millennia of control of men over women, patriarchy, excision of the feminine to yield masculine monotheism. What we seem to be realizing with this re-awareness of the Divine Feminine is the toll the lack of energetic balance has taken on how we live. In Her lack, our existing Masculine is wounded. None of the established systems work anymore–organized religion, healthcare, government, social benefit. On a personal level, the systems that don’t work are the daily grind, running a household, biological and energetic political/sexual dynamics… Does this mean we can’t have these things? Not necessarily. It means we have to find new ways of implementing and sustaining them, so that instead of meeting only our dire needs, they meet all of our needs.

The place to begin this transformation is to assess what your real needs are. Yes, we all have to earn a living. We all have to eat and pay bills. To have the energy to do those things means we must be fed on deeper levels, and that is where I see you needing to provide yourself support. Giving yourself the nurture and care that you need will reconnect your inner feminine and masculine, and it will allow you to reshape your perspective on the systems in your life. If you feel supported and trusted inside, your outside will conform to those feelings. It will mirror that support and give back to you. You have worked yourself spare trying to create that support externally, and only come up tired and feeling a lack. Consider the things that nourish you spiritually: a regular massage? a weekend retreat? an evening watching the stars? an artistic pursuit? a class you’ve wanted to take? I suspect it is some collection of different treats done at a set interval. These are not empty acts of girlie indulgence. They are cogent approaches to solidify trust in yourself and expressing your untapped voice. This will be a leap of faith for you, as there is an element of needing to trust your ability to determine what is right for yourself, and gaining the courage to manifest it. Yet reading these words stirs some wild woman within who needs expression. Allay your fears of her. She is the voice of the Divine in you. She is the key to feeling whole and creating the movement and language that is right for you.

That said, I do see a better job opportunity for you in the next 6-9 months. The thing is, without a calm, confident core, you won’t recognize it. Start creating that nest for yourself now, and not only will the opportunities you need meet you, you will see them coming. With these new opportunities meeting your needs, you are quite likely to create your own new system.

The Two of Us

Dear heart. Can you tell me something about the beautiful woman who has lived inside me since birth? Life has been hard. I am a man with woman’s ways. I am effeminate. I crossdress on impulse. It just comes over me and when I am in this mode I feel this is where and what I should be– a woman. Amongst many feminine dreams I’ve had, in one I was taken into an alien spacecraft and was injected in the back of my neck with a dart. It was said to me, “You are now a Shulamite Woman.” I am now 79 years old. My wife died 9 years ago, yet I feel she guides me, ever present. We were together for over 50 years. I think I have two souls, though true explanations for this have never come. Thank you, Tommy.

Thank you for your note and your trust, Tommy. When I track back through your life force to the place you were before this manifestation, I find you as a complete being embodying All life force–feminine, masculine, human, plant, animal, element, ether… For many people this state of being connected to All is the ideal, or “Heaven.” It’s a very calm place, without conflict and with a balanced sense of Self. Most every creature has had an experience that made it feel part of this stellar whole. Some have even had experiences in their current lives that triggered memories of being completely whole. Honestly, when I do life tracking for others into their between-form manifestations I find few peacefully enjoying that ‘whole’ experience. What is most common is being in a state of assessing direction or healing imbalances. That you are in this space is telling. What is most compelling is that you managed to bring it through with you–you never forgot it.

I feel that in most of your manifestations as form you were able to come through as this whole being, in the company of other such beings. You were able to embody both genders and there was community support in doing so. For that reason I do not feel that you have been on Earth in a long time, but have been manifest in planes that supported intergendered forms. I do think that you were able to be intergendered on Earth early in its formation and the lovely memory of that has been challenging. Times have changed. The two foremost guiding forces in this formed realm are those of masculine and feminine. They don’t exist as separately identified life force in the All. However, this plane has gone to extremes in how we honor, relate to, and divide those guiding forces. In your fully formed manifestations you did not have to cull one part of yourself out from the whole. Coming into this life, into this realm, with its rules about density and polarity, you found aspects of yourself celebrated and others completely disregarded. The struggle to honor all of yourself has been very painful. The sadness of feeling unfulfilled energetically is as real as your cells wanting to host something fully that they know they can’t: dual form.

Many readily identify that the feminine principle has been horribly maltreated in the Earth plane. She isn’t recognized in most world religions (overtly, anyway); thus, she isn’t openly reflected into how most of the world lives. What is often forgotten is that one principle can’t be harmed without harming the whole. Where the feminine has been relegated to the shadow, the masculine has been without its balanced other. It has carried burdens beyond its ability while it has observed its dearest other half be abused. You are aware of and feel this disjoint more than most, and for that reason you have always treated those around you with compassion and fairness. Bless you.

Regarding your dream, I do not have any feeling about abduction or having been changed. My feeling is that your life force originated in another planetary system. Some people truly do originate in Earth energy, some don’t. Those who don’t are challenged with the elemental structure of being here as much as with making peace with the reason for coming. My essay Coming Out Starseed may be informative, along that line. Realizing that your life force sources some place other than Earth is important in learning to connect with that source. That is the home you feel, and likely the place your feminine other is rooted. I feel you have been experiencing a simultaneous manifestation of yourself, here as a biological male, with your feminine having been forced to “stay behind” in that other planetary space Having been forced to choose one gender in order to manifest here, she comes through when she can. She’s a different energy but she is not a different you. She’s just more you.

I do feel that your wife is serving as an energetic anchor for you. She is of the same other planetary life force that you are, but in working out her karmic needs is on a different path. My feeling is that she will continue to walk with you are a protector and ally.

The good news is that time are changing again. The rules we agree to coming into this plane are becoming less rigid, more supportive of diverse life and how we live it. In that sense I do believe that you are a Shulamite woman. You are a two-spirit persevering beyond what is readily known, embodying unattainable wisdom. Be well, Tommy!

Alchemy is Ecstasy

Question:  Kelley, I’m in my late 20s and have never experienced an orgasm, alone or with a partner, not for lack of trying.  I have been in longterm relationships, to no avail.  I believe I was missing true chemistry.  I’m dating again now and am fearful of the whole situation—telling a new person about my problem, and just the idea of being anorgasmic for the rest of my life and that it will prevent me from having a happy relationship. Can you provide me with any insight as to why I’m this way and how I can become orgasmic?  Thanks, Sagittarius

Thank you for your note, Sagittarius.  I value your trust.  If there was a past personal trauma that has influenced a lack of orgasm in the present, you are far past processing that event and are in a space of clear decisive action.  I feel you have carried a lot of collective feminine wounding at a spiritual level.  To that end you are at the point of realizing you can be a healthy female and feminine being in this plane without participating in the collective pattern of suppressing Divine Gender balance.  The feeling I have in the present is of an aspect of yourself choosing how she is going to expend her power, fully realizing that she does not have to buy into the biases against the feminine at a personal level anymore.  This distinction is not about pretending such bases aren’t there, or to sound a rallying cry against their foes.  It is more about acknowledging such biases face on and saying, “I see you.  I know what you are.  I respect you, but I am not you.”  Also at center of this is not the raising of one gender over the other, but the understanding that in this plane it takes some combo of all of the above for there to be true balance.

I see your current position is about the transmutation of energies.  The aspect of you that has come appears as a blue flame with a feminine face.  By choice she has been collecting and holding energy that works against the feminine polarity in this plane.  She feels like a lighthouse haven that has been attracting forces on a collision course through the murky waters of gender for eons.  That said, most of this is not yours—you’ve simply been a vessel to hold it.  It is important to understand that you are very sensitive to the topic of Divine Gender balance, that you have a natural ability to bring this balance into place, and that this work is very much tied into your purpose for being on this planet at this time.  But you can only hold so much tension for so long without it starting to have effects on your personal quality of life.  It has to be released, and this aspect of you is aware enough to realize she can’t just release it back into the world.  It must be transformed into something productive, and what of it can’t be transformed needs to be carried away from this part of you by hands stronger than ours.

What has to be learned at this point is the transmutation of energies into something that is functional for you as an individual and for All.  The way in which you create this alchemy is not something that I can help you with at this point.  I am clearly here to relay information only.  To that end, I highly recommend that you check out the works of Pema Chödrön pertaining to the practice of tonglen.  I feel this simple approach in meditation will be very useful for you in converting the energy you’ve stored up into productive motion and release.  You can find info on this practice and her works online.

Now.  BlueFireWoman is very significant for reasons other than her storage abilities.  As you may already know, the life force in the body is often referred to as a sleeping fiery serpent, until it is intentionally awakened and directed.  Two books dealing with feminine sexuality and how to move the life force that I found tremendously enlightening and helpful are:  Don Juan and the Art of Sexual Energy:  The Rainbow Serpent of the Toltecs, by Merilyn Tunneshenede, and The Magdalen Manuscript, by Tom Kenyon.  Both of these books elaborate on the spiritual qualities of the feminine and masculine forces at work in us and during sex, and how to use life force to improve health and happiness.  What is promising for you is that your life force is already awake and burning.  She just needs a little attention and relief to sizzle.  In your ministrations to this release and opening, pay attention to your second chakra.  I feel that is where a lot of this energy is being stored, and also where your life force is not fully moving through the rest off your form.  Blocks in the second chakra are quite often involved in sexual energetic concerns.  This is the chakra that teaches you how you are distinct from your tribe.  This energy bridge focuses on personal expression, regardless of how your tribe feels about it.  It is about standing up for yourself.  You have chosen to be a conduit for shifting poorly held feelings about the feminine.  Those feelings have gotten stuck and must be moved through so that you as a balanced being can blossom and prosper.  In doing so you will become more powerful in your alchemy, affecting this transformation collectively.  Rising to this task will challenge you to let go of some of your own gender biases, as well as to stand up to your tribe.  It won’t be easy, but it will be a lot easier than the stagnant energy you’ve been experiencing.  When that energy moves through, you are going to be able to feel, hold and direct sexual energy in your form better.  Focus on releasing this energy and learning more about your role as that conduit.  Create the space for a physical release and expression of your own sexuality.  It will come, and so will the partner who can balance it.

Be well!

Creating from the Void

Question: Dear Kelley, I am a Leo and I am halted by an unfulfilled desire for love, intimacy and relationship. I live in Japan (I am American) where the M:F ratio doesn’t work in my favor. My career is growing at light speed and I am improving my finances. How can I reach my partnership goals. What am I doing wrong? Is this apart of a bigger process? Leo Lisa

Hi Lisa. Thanks for your note. When I enter the Dreamtime with your intention in mind, I am led to an aspect of you that is incredibly faerie-like. She is quite small in stature, dressed in a simple dress, and has small wings. She is talking with flowers and makes her rounds doing deeds that help Nature’s smaller wildlife feel better. What stands out about this aspect is that she is very demure and nurturing, and to the unfocused eye she would seem to be an ineffectual child spirit. In reality she is quite powerful and wields a sharp incisive ability to care for what the rest of the world would likely overlook. I am struck by the common contemporary assumption that powerful archetypes of women are usually “Xena” warrior heroines, decisive maternal watchdogs, or crones of speculative alchemy. The culture we live in wouldn’t see this little wonder of nature as the empowered being that she is.

I observe that she works her way through a little dome of nature, which is held separate from other realms that I see in the distance. I step out of her dome into a space that is very bland and unattractive, characterized by the feeling of a complete lack of feminine influence. It feels like a space in which many women are trapped in masculine roles, unable to express their true Selves. I have the distinct feeling that this aspect of you wants to avoid this space. I see another division just beyond that one, a wall of dark blue water in which I see women in their 40s-50s wafting through, some just floating. This space feel very womblike and maternal, and yet smothering at the same time. My feeling is that this fae aspect holds a reluctance to grow through all the phases of the Feminine and as such keeps herself locked into an adolescent idealistic state of being. The results of that restriction are limitations on attracting other energetically mature people and limiting relationship possibilities. Nonetheless, she wants to grow.

She takes my hand and I lead her out of the pastoral fae realm and into the blank strata. “I don’t like it,” she says, and she stops walking.

“I’m not sure that anyone does,” I tell her, “but passing through this space is part of our human cultural heritage and can’t be avoided. No one has to stay here. It can be transcended.” She smiles, and holding hands, we move into the watery blue wall.

“I don’t really like this one either,” she remarks.

We continue to move through this one, though it is much wider and takes us quite a while. Our passage through the Maternal realm leaves us standing abruptly on the edge of a cliff looking out over oblivion. Literally, this ledge leads to nowhere, barring dark star-speckled space. I feel the fae aspect panicking, hear her breathing turn ragged. I tell her that I will go into it with her and see what we find. Gently we step off the cliff and begin our fall, hands still clasped. Soon, though, we are not falling but gliding, observing the void from which all things are created—from which we create ourselves as we wish to be. We do not speak, but I feel that she has begun to realize the freedom she has in choosing how she grows into her Chosen roles as Woman, and soon she flies off on her own, confident, still fae, capable, caring and assured.

I place myself back in my Lower World and ask Lisa’s guides how moving through the various archetypes of Femininity enhances her ability to fulfill her partnership desires. One of her guides indicates that by not growing, Lisa had not met “grown” people who could meet her where at a wise and mature place, who also know how to fly into the void to create themselves out of it. Her guide leaves me with the sense that having moved through those realms of herself and the Feminine in this journey, Lisa has freed up aspects of her life for like companions to come in.

Divine Union of the Self

This is for my friend, Linda. She’s been involved with a man for about 15-16 years, and even though she keeps thinking she should just walk completely away, they can’t leave each other. When she first saw him there were no sparks nothing except that she felt sorry for him a bit because he looked so beaten down. Sometimes this relationship has been so very good and helpful to one or both of them, and other times it has been very destructive and harmful. But always it seems to keep somehow moving her in a direction she was meant to go. Do you feel he will always be in this life with her? When she gets an image of her future with someone, it is always him. Does she actively do something about either ending or changing the relationship? For Linda.

Thank you for your note. The inconsistency you speak of regarding on again off again feelings about this man are evident immediately as I journey. An aspect of Linda, dressed impeccably in a dark dress suit, air of authority and class pervading her every gesture, is sitting in a dingy bar. She carries a drink and moves from bar, table to table, talking with various guys, being her incredibly charming and amazing self. She seems greatly out of place in these surroundings, and although her confident allure would seem to seduce any of the bar’s inhabitants, not one of the men is giving her the time of day. After a few minutes of observing her, I go sit with her at a table. As soon as I do, she lights up and grabs my hand. I am immediately aware of a feminine archetypal imbalance that is somehow affecting how she comes across to men, and in how she holds her own power. She, for all practical purposes, is so focused on holding her masculine power, that she eclipses her feminine power. As a result of that she’s not attracting men as she would like, but she doesn’t understand why.

I tell her that Linda in waking has asked me to learn more about her relationship with Tom, and she releases my hand rather curtly, and says, “O him.” She stands abruptly and goes back over to the bar. I ask her to talk to me about him, and she tells me there is nothing to talk about. I tell her that if she will tell me her concern about him, Linda in waking can resolve whatever the issues around him is, and she won’t have to get angry just from his name being brought up.

She’s a little annoyed with me at first, but then this aspect of Linda tells me that Linda in waking holds on to Tom, a guy who isn’t really sure of his place in the world, because that is the closest she has come to touching her own feminine power. There is a real love/hate thing happening with regard to feminine power in this aspect. Not only does this Linda see the feminine quality of power as weak, as she chooses not to embody that in herself, but she recognizes the need for it somewhere in her life, so she tries to incorporate it with frail men. This isn’t just about the quality of man she chooses, but it is about the dynamic of choosing frail men, as well. In other words, there is a self-fulfilled victim-like cycle happening here, and this Linda is thriving on that feminine soap opera drama these relationships bring her. In the short term they feed her feminine lack, but in the long term bring her masculine side that much more out of balance. And she knows she has Tom, whom she perceives as a sort of whipping boy, yet here she is at this bar full of men ‘beneath her status’, looking for a more suitable match. She knows it isn’t working. It’s in these bar moments that Linda in waking knows she needs and wants better. This cycle isn’t about Tom, or even that relationship. It’s about a woman who doesn’t fully hold her part of the Divine Feminine, and to compensate for that looks for her feminine power on an ego level in “broken” men.

When I ask this aspect of Linda what she really wants, she cries and tells me that she wants to feel ok being a little girl, that she never felt like she had an energetic opportunity to grow up as a female in this realm. For whatever reason, she at a very young age abandoned the part of her life force that is feminine, and developed her masculine energy instead. I don’t sense a trauma around this, just a very subtle decision to improve self however necessary for success and setting all of life, including relationships, up to meet this end. The choice was made with the highest intent, though short-sighted in how it would affect her Whole. This Linda indicates having gone through all the regular physical and emotional transitions that females do, but not truly connected to the power and spiritual initiations those experiences held. Puberty was empty. Menstruation onset was routine if not intrusive. Moving into dating and early relationships was a tribulation and even then not attracting the attention she really wanted. Seeing herself and her life as having been the experiences of a Goddess was missing, and still is.

What is exemplary is that this Linda has mastered holding masculine power, albeit not manifesting it in the most healthy way. Nonetheless, she has mastered it and in realizing that can hold that power better, and use the foundation from it to support bringing in the feminine balance. In essence, this Linda has never attracted a “strong” man, because she already was that for herself. But the men she has attracted have reflected her own lack of feminine power development. They have been reflecting back to her the qualities of herself that she has most wanted to change.

Part of this imbalance will shift just by Linda acknowledging her divinity as a significant feminine creature. Not just to validate the experiences of her life as one who has grown of her own accord, one who has met her goals, etc, but that she is a feminine force on this planet who possesses the ability to root here as a being who honors her masculine and feminine power. Some time spent in her own meditative approaches with the focus of bringing the Divine Feminine into her life force, waking her own femininity and letting that move through her form will raise her wellbeing, overall. As well, some chakra work, such as fire breathing and yoga, will really draw that kundalini energy upward and inward. Her clarity of thought will improve, as well as remove the need for bar episodes. Linda knows what she wants, and working with herself mind, body, soul, and emotion to bring that power in will manifest it. Doing this kind of work, when she looks in human mirrors, she will see the parts of herself and that person that are well, that have managed to find each other to share that wellbeing. Be well!

Do I have Spirit Guides?

Dear Kelley, Since 1999 I have been “off track” with my life. The pillars of career, relationship, and finances have crumbled away. Now, I am in my prime and I’m really desiring to do meaningful work in this life, have the experience of true love with a man, and be “in” this world. Do I have guides? Who are they and how can I let them know I need their help – now!! These years of bankruptcy, unavailable men, and jobs of little money and no fulfillment of my skills cannot be why I am here. I really want to contribute in a meaningful way. Do you have a light or hit on a direction for me? Thank you! “Jo”

Hi Jo! Thanks for your note, and sharing your lovely sense of humor =) When I ask to meet your spirit guide, I am led to an active volcano on an island. Sensing the energy of this volcano as very feminine, it indicates to me that she is Pele, Hawaiian fire goddess who shaped the surface of the land (pretty powerful stuff). There is the quite obvious fire aspect of her power, which I sense as an intense ability to create what she needs for herself. What surprises me though, is that she also has a very profound relationship with air, in that she very freely moves her energy wherever it is needed. More than a factor in creation, she knows when to relax and float on the breeze. You have not had enough of that luxurious rest in your life, and it is time to provide it for yourself. The volatile combination of fire and air feels to be a quite poignant in the cycle of destruction and creation. We often forget that destruction IS part of creation, and in this Crone aspect of the Goddess, she is the epitome of that process. As she is your spirit guide, you embody that process. This guide is here to help you burn out the deadwood of your life and replenish it with prospering, thriving Life. Pele point blank says, “She has the ability to rise above circumstance and into herself.”

To bring her into your daily life more, she asks that you acknowledge her by lighting a candle. Spend some time regularly talking with Pele and cultivating a relationship with her. However you meditate, begin opening and holding a place for her and her energy in your life.

Give some attention to third chakra clearing. The third chakra is the point in development at which you energetically realize you are part of All Things, and honor that connection. The true harmony of that connection rests in realizing who YOU are, and in being able to stand confidently in who you are while making that observation about all of life. The third chakra is all about confidence, which is the fuel for intuition. Pele indicates you have become more withdrawn than is your nature, due to feeling used or just battered about by the world. It’s not your nature to draw in, and she shows me that doing some work on your third chakra will help you feel more confident not only about connecting with the world, but your place in it.

There is also a panda bear working with you right now. I have the sense that he is your lifelong animal guide. It may behoove you to do some reading about pandas and their energetic/spiritual influence. However, YOUR panda says that he brings you comfort, very much in that teddy bear sort of way. He loves you very much, and is intent on helping you find the line between comfort and growth, as well as between loving connection and co-dependence. It seems you have tended to be full-bore one or the other, and not observed the balance that is best for you. He is here to help you with that. Even his black and white coloring suggests balance, appropriate boundaries, yet bold sense of self. He also seems to carry an intense yet artful knowledge of ritual, that is, finding the way in which day-to-day processes and observances create a mind/body/soul connection. He seems to have a lot in store for you on that front—a very disciplined and lovely way to help you find how you spiritually relate to All Things.

He asks that you keep an image or little figurine of a panda near you, as you have a tendency to feel unsupported by the world. This memento can serve a s a reminder that you have powerful spiritual allies who are channels of Universal power, at your disposal. In your meditative space, it would be good to ask him to step into you and let you truly feel his abilities and the gifts he brings you. This merging is called shapeshifting, and is the foundation of working with animal guides.

Between these two guides you have a good bit of instruction available to you in changing the direction of your life. Both are incredibly powerful in their own way, as are you. I hope that in the work you do with them, you come to hold that power the highest way that you can, and see the results you deeply want. My best to you, Jo!

When Pink is a Green Light

Dear Kelley, I have been on an 8 month journey trying to heal from a breakup. The person who has my heart and soul has moved 2 thousand miles away, and I have been trying through meditation, soul searching, and reflection to divine the outcome of us. Before he left, he said he would be back for me. He occasionally still says he loves me, but likes where he is for right now. I would wait for him forever–I feel that strongly our link. Am I fooling myself? Thank you.

You are not fooling yourself. The feelings are real, the connection with this man is real. So is that the two of you are not in the same place, literally or figuratively. There is nothing wrong with being in different places, on any level. You have done an excellent job respecting his space and his need to find his place in the world. You have been very tolerant and in your way, nurturing of him to do this. However, for you, holding on to a relationship that is not for the most part indicating a green light is very significant.

I have a sense of there being an energy block that is associated with manifesting deep romantic relationships in your life, or at least with being “stuck” with this one man. I am seeing that this block for you is related to your heart chakra, which oddly enough, traditionally appears as a glowing green light. When I look at yours, I see pink light, which tells me that you energetically do not have the go-ahead on this relationship. The pink light indicates to me that you have a great deal of Goddess energy sitting with you right now, but it has stopped at your heart. It has not been moved through your entire chakra system, which it must do. When energy stops at a chakra and doesn’t pass through, it creates a block in the energy flow, and in your life. Heart chakra blocks tend to revolve around issues of love, specifically compassion for All Things. This Goddess energy that is sitting in your heart is a wonderful thing, but it needs to be manifest. With it “stuck” here, issues are cropping up in your life.

Before I continue with the reading, I will explain a very general bit about the chakra system. In this channel down your spine are 7 primary chakras, or bridges that connect you to All That Is. Each bridge, or chakra, resonates to a different level of being, different qualities, different aspects of the Universes. Through this channel your life force (chi, prana, ki, energy…) flows from above the top of your head (crown) to the base of the spine (root), from Spirit. Life force also flows from the root upward to the crown, into All That Is (Spirit). What these unique currents of energy accomplish is key. The life force flowing into you from Spirit allows you to “harness” your power. In manifesting that power, you consciously return that energy to all of life by making all of your actions dedicated to it. At a simplistic level, that intake/outtake is how your chakra system works.

When you have a block, such as one at the heart chakra, it helps to identify where that block is occurring–on the way in (empowering) or on the way out (manifesting). This block for you lies in manifesting. You do not have a problem finding love and identifying it. You are aware of the way love moves in your life. However, there is something constricting your ability to truly allow it to come into being in the highest way that it can for you.

Examining this pink light at your heart, it feels very related to being in touch with Goddess from a mothering standpoint. By mothering, I mean nurture, standing back as the disciplined one in an arrangement, as the figure who will do the right thing when called to action. The thing is, this being the responsible one for everyone else, this standing back “waiting” behaviour is creating a block in your life force, and in your life. The time of waiting has passed. The occulation of Venus in Gemini has reconnected an incredible Crone Goddess power to the planet, and She’s in no holding pattern. She’s the mature Feminine Divine, and She’s got a mess to clean up in terms of our understanding of the Crone, the Great Mother, and Goddess. Our collective understanding of the Feminine Divine tends to be dark and identified with the shadow. She has been outcast from our cultures in any positive light, for the most part. As a result, we have lost our ability to value the elderly, wise “tough love” attributed to women who have the experience to know what time it is. That is no coincidence. The thing is, we have to be able to hold ALL of these archetypes–shadow, wise woman, self-effacing mother… and work through them at our own pace and peace to the fullness of holding our own Divine Feminine within.

You have already allowed this Goddess energy into your life force, but it’s not moved all the way through to your root, and it’s definitely not being reflected out in your actions. Do a bit of reading about the chakras, and in your meditative space visualize this energy around your heart, moving it down to the base of your spine. Connect to all the feelings, sensations and thoughts that come up while you do this. They will give you further indication of where your power lies, and of where it needs further attention. An excellent meditation on how to move it up the spine (to manifest) is Tom Kenyon’s “The Magdalen Manuscript” and the accompanying CD. This type of movement into manifestation is exactly what the book and CD meditations were created for. When you can move that powerful Goddess energy through you, and manifest it in your life, you are not going to stand by for anything. You will see that green light, and hold that pink Goddess aura all through your being. You won’t have to react from a defensive shadow, or defenseless maid, but from within your own place of balanced creation and manifestation. In short, you will know what you truly want, and that you shall have, because you will create it. I don’t know if this man will be part of what you create. But I do know that when you work with this energy, you will no longer question if you should wait. Be well!