Tag: consciousness

Life Betwixt – Truly, Deeply Shifting

I sent out my monthly newsletter the other day, and have had such a great response to it that I’d like to share part of it here. Go gently into the holidays.

Mystical NumbersOver the last year I’ve been sitting back, watching lots of dramas play out. Groups splintering, belief paths diverging, relationships ending, jobs disappearing. We’re all familiar with the big ones–the world economy diving, governments crumbling–or at least their integrity is taking a nose dive. As I observe these patterns coming to ends, I’m reminded of the optimism and excitement that was rampant at this time last year. Remember? Winter Solstice 2012? It had a certain ring, an air of mystery. Even if you didn’t buy into the prophecy proclamations, propaganda made it impossible to escape the finality of it marking an end. To some, it was The End of a way of consciousness as we’ve known it.

At that point, there seemed to be moot acceptance that certain systems would fall–the “bad” ones, the inhumane, unhealthy, hateful, harmful ones. Yet, a year later, we’re confused as to the sweeping personal dramas, the inability for rote patterning to quench deep desire. Some of the closings aren’t terribly dramatic. I’ve had a lot of people report that they just can’t go through the motions of everyday as they used to. Their daily routine no longer fits. The rituals they’ve followed to get ready for work for fifteen years suddenly constrict. The desire for a new shiny elusive something won’t abate. In particular, many express feeling conflicted about how to approach the holidays, because lifelong traditions feel foreign, yet no new way reveals itself. Old patterns aren’t working, but new ones aren’t coming.

If we bought into the shift of the last year as bringing the end of systems, then that includes personal ones. Our cherished darlings must break, not just our foes and conflicts. Our habits, even if they aren’t overtly harmful or threatening, have to go if they don’t support our greater joy. I don’t think that means that our relationships will end, or our belief system have to change. I think it means the end of systems, finding comfort in the fact that for now and the foreseeable future, there is no system, on any level.

Our challenge at this time is to stay dynamic. If what worked yesterday isn’t working today, so it is. Find a new way. And if tomorrow, none of the above fulfills, there will be another approach. For years I’ve called this era a “hinge time,” because we are at the turning point of treasured Piscean systems giving way to sustainable, organic Aquarian communities.

Center is shifting, constantly.Our job isn’t to try to find it, but to shift with it.

I wish you strong bearings this holiday season.
Dream well,

Soul Isolation and Seizures

Kelley– I was misdiagnosed with epileptic seizures at the age of 15, and was put on many different anticonvulsant medications for over 10 years. None of it helped, and none of my EEG’s showed conclusive evidence of epileptic seizures. I have only recently realized that my seizures are due to some kind of spiritual blockage. I have been able to control them better, but not completely, and would love some insight into what I need to do further to either have them under complete control, or to harness their power. When I was a teenager, and my spiritual awakening began, I had very vivid, powerful dreams, I could dream walk, I had prophetic dreams, I could communicate with my spirit guides easily. I can no longer do this, and it is rare that I have restful sleep. Any insight into this problem would be immensely appreciated! Love and blessings! – Niki

Thanks for your note, Niki. The message that I got from your guides is that some facet of your soul is seeking a different way to express that deeper part of your consciousness, specifically through training in spirit walking, or shamanic journeying. The aspect of your soul that I met with indicated that she is eager and waiting for you to work with her in learning to journey out with purpose to some intended healing. My feeling is that this will sate the part of you needing that release and expression, and it will help manage your physical symptoms.

Also, if you can acquire a naturally formed salt water pearl, this is a powerful fetish to have in your toolbox of spirit travel allies. It came to me very prominently in working with this aspect of you. If you have or can get one, keep it with you when you sleep, and as you adventure into learning to journey. The salt water pearl brings you grounding between spaces, and assures your ability to bring something beautiful from discomfort.

Generally speaking, seizures occur when a facet of the soul attempts to leave the body but is confined for some reason.  The soul is infinite, and aspects of it naturally come and go as they need to.  This is how our consciousness expands, provokes new thoughts and beliefs.  When an aspect of the soul wanders out due to trauma and can’t return, shamans consider this state soul loss, or soul separation.  Soul loss can manifest in many ways, such as chronic doubt, depression, pain.   Soul parts are returned through a process known as soul retrieval.    The phenomenon you have experienced can feel just as bad–when a soul part needs to wander out to expand and release, yet can’t.  This state leaves you feeling trapped in yourself and spiritually isolated.

I don’t recommend learning to journey alone.  Let me know where you are located and I can help you find a teacher. If you are open to distance learning, I can help you with that. I don’t think this means that you have to commit to the servitude of shaman hood or hone the intuitive skills of a mystic, so much as just give yourself this outlet for now. Cultivate it and stay open to what it brings. I wish you healthy, passionate travels, Niki!

6 Things the Dead Want Us to Know About Life

One of the earliest intuitive abilities I recognized in myself was the ability to interact with the dead. As a child I was terrified of them. They woke me from sleep, made noises in my room, touched me, gave me visions. Nothing in my belief system had taught me how to communicate with them well, of the graphic ways in which they can communicate, or even about what death is. As an adolescent I realized not all spirits I saw were products of a completed life in form. Some were spirits of trees, living animals, or beings that have never been in form, though nonetheless influenced the lives of those of us in form. In forty years of communing with the world in this way, several universal messages have been conveyed. The unifying concept in these messages is that what happens in consciousness stays in consciousness, and I distilled them to six general observations:

    • How we live now is the state of the afterlife. While the body ceases to be, the mind and soul carry on. The state of our consciousness in life is the state of our consciousness in death. If we foster worry and anxiety now, that’s our mode of operation after. By focusing on negative or hurtful aspects of life, we stew in them in death, causing consciousness to stagnate. If we are mindful and live in the present in life, in death we continue to broaden consciousness, further opportunity to make choices to support that awareness.
    • There is no magickal place of punishment or reward. This insight garners strong emotional reactions from many people. Most of our world religions are built on the idea that regardless of the plight of our lives, we are destined by our actions to spend everafter in torment or joy. Again, what the dead indicate is that what comes after is based on our perspective in life. How one behaves in life is what one experiences after life.
Real Wyrd - A Modern Shaman's Roots in the Middle World by S. Kelley Harrell

Read more spooky stories in “Real Wyrd – A Modern Shaman’s Roots in the Middle World,” my collection of true paranormal experiences as a lifelong intuitive.

  • Everything lives on. In some guise, form, or unform, the essence of every thing remains and becomes some other manifestation of itself and All Things.
  • Spirits aren’t wise or moral just because they are out of form. Our culture perpetuates a myth that upon death souls become penitent and/or enlightened. In my experience, wise deceased were so in life. Souls that were confused, frustrated, angry, etc, are so in death.
  • What we don’t heal in life stays with us in death. Thoughts, habits, or beliefs that don’t support us or undermine us, such as lying, using others to further ourselves, or denying our true natures do not magickally vanish when we leave form. For this reason, when we seek to release harmful dynamics from our lives, we are also assuring peace in death. We assure ongoing tranquility.
  • Working with trance states affects knowledge of how to die. By accessing the imagination via ecstatic trance, dreamwork, or other method of altered consciousness, we experience life without the ego. In this pure space and consciousness, we catch glimpses of what it feels like to be out of form, to be our undaunted wild selves.  The more we connect with our true nature our quality of life improves.  The better we live, the more comfortable we are with the truth of mortality.

While my experiences with the spirits now are more balanced than those of my childhood, the prevailing message is that spirits do affect our lives. By living well we die peacefully, which means that we have no need to disrupt the living. By living well, everyone’s experience of consciousness is improved.

If you love reading true stories of the wyrd, every year for the Samhain season I share several in my column, Intentional Insights.  Check the archive there under the ‘Samhain’ and ‘paranormal’ tags.  If you want to learn more about shamanism and deathwalking, visit Soul Intent Arts.

Healing the PTSD of Paranormal Probing

This week’s inquiry is a comment from my last article Paranormal Investigating – Troubleshooting the Middle World. “Kelley, you said “Should you find residuals from the encounter with these spirits – things like paranoia, troublesome thought or behavior patterns that disrupt your daily life – these are indications that your PTSD switch for paranormal experiences has been flipped on and you should seek help in turning it off.” I dabbled stupidly with the Ouija board as a kid and other things before I realized the seriousness of it. Now, decades later it seems that something may have remained. How can I turn it off? Thanks, Carolyn.”

Thanks for reading and contributing, Carolyn. The absolute best thing to do if you feel PTSD or anything unfinished from these experiences is to find a shaman to help you. I can do this work remotely, but if you let me know your location perhaps I can connect you with someone with whom you can work in person if that is preferred.

Traumatic experience with the paranormal could be as benign as the shock of being told information you weren’t prepared to know or that no one else could know. It could be as jarring as seeing objects move, hearing voices, seeing visitors… Fright can even come days later in some signal, synchronicity, or dream pointing back to the spirit interaction. The definition of ‘trauma’ varies person-to-person. The point is you know you’ve been traumatized if you can’t step out of the fear stemming from the original interaction.

Generally speaking, there are three layers to the aftermath of such spirit interactions. First is turning off the switch, which I call rebalancing your etheric field. Second is removing any errant life force that may be clinging to yours. Third is healing focused on balancing the energy shifts from all of the above.

There is no shortcut to finding the place in your etheric field that is vulnerable to the trauma and rebalancing it. Where it’s located is unique to the individual and the experience. If you are adept at working with the etheric field you can do this yourself, though I would still recommend allowing someone else to do it. The life impact of this kind of imbalance bears being thorough. There are many ways to balance the etheric field, all of which require some knowledge of life force and how to move it.  At this stage, the original trauma is healed, as are emotions that came with it.

Removing unnecessary energies attached to yours is called by many names depending on culture and circumstance—depossession, extraction, releasement. The state of having unneeded life force attached to yours is not good or bad. It’s not light or dark. There are no such judgments in shamanic work. What exists is a state in which you are not functioning at your desired ability and benevolent work can be done to re-establish balance.

Like attracts like. When you experience something that puts you into a panicked, anxious, or terrified state, you attract energy of that same state. Psychological models call this PTSD, or being “shell-shocked.” Spiritually speaking PTSD is recognized when you attract people who express the same feelings, situations reinforcing those feelings, or spirits/energies of similar trauma. You think the distress and building panic are yours, when in reality like attraction is merely exacerbating it. This scenario constitutes a spiritual emergency. Until you direct healing to the trigger for the trauma the anxiety and panic keep playing out and/or attracting more of the same. This is the spiritual truth of any trauma, not just those of paranormal origin.

After balancing the etheric field to restore calmness and removing unnecessary life force, healing is directed to all levels of your being, to help changes from the etheric and spiritual work to gently ground.

How About Demons? by Dr. Felicitas Goodman

How About Demons? by Dr. Felicitas Goodman

That’s it, in a not-so-brief nutshell. If you want to understand “the switch”–what it is, how it functions, and how the spiritual technology of managing it crosses cultures and time, the definitive work in my opinion is How About Demons? by Felicitas D. Goodman.

Be well, Carolyn.

Paranormal Investigating – Troubleshooting the Middle World

Kelley, I’ve been dabbling in the Salt Lake paranormal scene. Myself, a friend, and a medium-in-training went to a haunted place that is said to have demons. I have an electronic device that lets disembodied entities speak phonetically. After some questions about what spirits were with us and to see if they knew who we were (they knew my friend), the medium then said she got a feeling of dread and fear. When I asked the spirits if they knew who I was, they said, “Death.” One EVP (electronic voice phenomena) said what we think was, “Don’t talk to him.” Another later said, “Hide.” The medium said that the ghosts were uneasy and unwilling to communicate, something not that unusual unless a “demon” entity is involved. I’m aware of previous manifestations of myself that were very affected by discarnate energies, and the degree to which I had carried that into my current life. Is it really possible for spirits to fear me because of my history? Was I being called Death or being warned of my death? Thanks, J.

Thanks for your note, J. It’s good to hear from you again. J and I have worked together before; thus, some personal info is omitted from this inquiry. As we say in the computer programming world, so spirit communication follows the same rule: Garbage in, garbage out. Thus begins your first lesson in understanding the Middle World.

Spirit Board via About.com

Spirit Board via About.com

The differences between mediumship and what I do as a shaman are intention and location. While shamans can act as mediums, they cast a much wider net. Generally speaking, most cultures of shamanism have a trifold cosmology, as in Upper World, Middle and Lower–none of which correspond with the assumed Abrahamic counterparts. The Middle World is the spirit layer of the Earth realm. It’s the place where souls become stuck when they die and don’t move on, when they have unfinished business. It’s the place of earthly astral travel and lucid dreaming. This is also part of the layer where faeries are, Nature spirits, devas. The kind of spirit communication that you described happens in the Middle World, which is generally the only layer most psychics and mediums access.


What that means is when you connect with spirits in the Middle layer, they’re most often not guides. They’re not beings committed to working for your benefit. They may be higher entities or lightbeings, but that’s where intention comes in. I teach a class on connecting safely with spirits in the Middle World according to your intentions and ability to navigate the spirit realms. Without a clear intention, as in just venturing out to see the spiritual manifestation of or in a space–particularly one you consider to be “haunted”–you ask for garden variety, you get garden variety. You have no control over with whom you connect. For many studying shamanism, the Middle World can be the trickiest to navigate simply because it is so close to our own reality. From the time we begin to explore the Middle World we are emotionally involved, and the kinds of spirits who hang out there know it. Boundaries are imperative.

The short version is that discarnate human spirits in the Middle World are usually there for a reason, the least of which is that they are not well. Generally speaking, souls and consciousness seek growth and widening their awareness. Staying stuck in one place, in form or out, is not part of the plan, and the state of being stuck often leads to suffering even if the spirit’s life and death were peaceful. Any communication you have with such souls is going to reflect their state of being. In the event that you have similar buttons in your psyche regarding that state of being, they will be pushed.

That is what I feel happened in your experience. Because of your past brushes with intentionally adverse souls, you have significant buttons around PTSD, particularly PTSD that is the result of a harmful paranormal interaction. The moral of that story is that you can’t just go unmitigated into spirit communication–even as the passenger. You really need a set intention and some education on what the varying options are in spirit communication, as well as how to connect with the kind of spirits who bring something meaningful to your life and quite possibly you to theirs. My sense is that the spirits you encountered were mirroring your latent fear of yourself, not expressing fear of or for you. Low vibration entities can’t originate much, but they can exacerbate your fears. They truly are parasitic life forces that draw on the strongest vibe nearest them. If your vibe of fear of your shadows in your past was strongest, that is what you received back in communication from them.

This en masse modern trend of paranormal investigators that just pop in and stir up trouble then wonder why they’re chronically sick, why they need to sleep with the lights on, why they’re uncomfortable around large groups of people… amuses me. This etheric tapping on the fishbowl is the opposite of bridgebuilding in the arena of soul work, and is the reason that I do not under any circumstances support garden variety spirit communication. If you (or your friends) don’t know what you’re doing, don’t risk being unable to undo it. Should you find residuals from the encounter with these spirits–things like paranoia, troublesome thought or behaviour patterns that disrupt your daily life–these are indications that your PTSD switch for paranormal experiences has been flipped on and you should seek help in turning it off.

Be well, J.

This discussion continues in  Healing the PTSD of Paranormal Probing.

There to Here – Life and Choices of the Soul

Two questions I’m frequently asked are, “If the soul is already aware and perfect, why would it choose to manifest in the Earth realm?” and “Why does the soul choose such challenging experiences?” Why, indeed.

First off, I have no idea. I couldn’t tell you. At best, I can share what wisdom I’ve gleaned from my personal experiences and those of soul kin whose process I’ve had the opportunity to witness.

It seems that the state of consciousness out of form, or some might say, “between lives,” is very different from consciousness in form. Peaceful souls out of form aren’t attached to emotion as humans are. They exist in a liberated state with nothing distracting them from being connected with All Things. They only know their true essence, while the quintessential challenge of formed being is to remember we are spirit in flesh. It is to remember that we are part of All Things.

The Creation of Adam by Michelangelo

The Creation of Adam by Michelangelo

Being separate from emotion allows the soul to see things very differently. Specifically, it allows the soul to see life on Earth very differently. From its removed vantage point where it is finely tuned into All Things, the soul looking ‘down’ at earthly life experiences only passion. Joy, anger, frustration, grief, peace, hunger, sensuality… any feeling, emotion, or state of being that stirs desire is merely experienced as passion. Passion is the key motivator in the human experience. When connected to one’s spiritual guidance, passion moves obstacles, transcends philosophies, creates new frontiers. Without the connection to All Things, ie, in the lack of remembering that one is spirit in flesh, ego-driven passion blinds, infuriates, and often leads to spirals of stagnating experiences. Usually a realization of some sequence of self-fulfilled prophecies and reawakening to the soul’s needs for returning creates pause. Within this quiet space is generally my first meeting place with new clients. From this rich (though often not quiet) pause between a heritage of soul wisdom and human calamity, questions of life purpose and soul origin emerge. Even asking the questions initiates growth, because it means allowing guidance from the soul rather than the ego. It means healthily detaching from emotion.

A pervasive thought many soul seekers hold is that they chose their lives, not just its manifestation, but the circumstances of it. This perspective can be extremely unsettling to those whose lives are pain-filled. Despite feeling connected to that truth of choice, there is disdain for the thought that one would choose trauma, loss, pain, or frustration on the earthly journey. In my spirit communication with the souls of humans, Nature spirits, guides, and entities who have never been in form–what ones would call angels or the Light Choir–the element of choice is still pervasive, even under dire circumstances. However, what becomes apparent is also that the perspective we held as souls between lives choosing to come into form is not the same once it manifests in the earthly domain. In the mindspace of the soul, we choose how we will create ourselves in form. There are no lessons or objectives we must complete, no tests from the Divine. We choose how we want to create ourselves, and that choice is made with the full support and wisdom of All Things. However, once in form, things move slower. They’re more dense. Greater than those states, we feel, and in the overwhelming nature of feeling we begin forgetting that Divine connection. We do not readily feel connected to All Things, and that’ where the tribulation starts. In the between life space, we forget the hardship of work. We forget the pain of growth. We forget the passion of the soul growing and become immersed wholly in the emotional experience of being.

Consider that the soul is consciousness, and the sole purpose of consciousness is to expand itself–to create itself as it wants to be. As a good friend once said to me, “Consciousness knows, ‘Go!'” That’s all it knows, not “hang on a second,” or “slow down,” much the same way that going nonstop is all children know. As students in academic programs, we are often eager to take on heavy course loads because we want to immerse ourselves in subjects that provoke and change us, even when seasoned advisers warn of taking on too much or very challenging material. All we know is that we want to expand ourselves, without realizing the minute details of how demanding it will be, how much time and energy it will take, what of us it will change. Then consider a campus full of others enthusiastically navigating their own creation and it’s no wonder that we become focused on more mundane experiences.

I firmly believe that forgetting the wisdom of the between life is a core facet in the blueprint of the soul coming here and learning to remember there. Forgetting our higher spiritual nature is part of the plan. It is intended that we birth through the veil of the Divine into the realm of humanity feeling the struggle of that delivery, just as the earth is both the colorful pallet by which we create ourselves, as well as the paintbrush.

Bless however you create yourself, and know that you are empowered to be as you want to be, at anytime. There are tools and skilled caregivers to assist you. If you have reached that space of questioning and you want to find your answers, consider contacting me for remote work, or let me know where you live and I will find someone near you to work with in person.
As always, be well.

Missing Person, Hidden Agenda

Kelley, a friend went missing last year, and the case has revealed nothing. Would you mind giving your thoughts on it? Thanks, BFF.

Thanks for your note, BFF. For my response to this inquiry, all personal information has been removed, and “Jane” is the missing woman. It’s very difficult to connect to the overall dynamic of how she went missing. As soon as I feel it, it’s as though I’m bounced away. Instantly, I feel a sense of self-culpability regarding her absence, but also regarding some state of her life well before she went missing. She’s making it clear that she doesn’t want me to see, which I respect. I can’t force anything. I would like to provide her loved one with info, if possible, however. Instead of trying to connect with her, I focus on the time and area in which she went missing. Instantly, I see the face of a dark man. When I try to read that further I get nothing, as if I hadn’t really seen it. I focus on her earthly consciousness, and feel that it is no longer in her body. When I focus on how it left her body, I find myself looking up through icy cold water into woods, where people rarely are. Attempting to read that experience further, the image of a head with a plastic bag over it is forced into my field. At this point I am perfectly clear that Jane doesn’t want me to know what happened to her. As I get a feel on something, she interferes and I lose bearings on the dynamic. A final attempt to connect with an aspect of her that is able to communicate with me renders a sobbing Jane. When I ask her if she is OK, she tells me that she’s fine. She doesn’t feel or present herself as fine at all, yet she insists. When I ask her why she is upset, she says, “I can’t breathe.”

I take Jane up for healing, and after, we sit on a rock in Spirit space. I ask her how she feels now, and she tells me, “Embarrassed.” Repeatedly she says this, but when I ask her to help me understand how to soothe her, she only attempts to redirect me again. I ask her to tell me about the embarrassment, and she goes silent. At this point along a deathwalk, it is unusual for a newly released soul still to be emotionally involved with the affairs of the living, not to want to facilitate balance. I tell her that I realize I’m being very intrusive at a sensitive time, but to show some compassion for those who are worried about her and give me something to report to them. Jane then tells me that she was involved with a married man, who when she said she was tired of hiding, became violent. She even gives me a name; however, when I hold the energy of what she is saying, I feel nothing. Perfectly flat. Understand that I am not a crime solver. I am not a details collector. I am a deathwalker. My job is to facilitate the released consciousness to the point that it can peacefully re-enter Source and move on to its destiny. It’s also my job to make sure there are no discordant connections left by the earthly consciousness, and Jane is intentionally impeding this healing. Anything that comes up along that process is incidental. That said, I don’t feel that Jane is telling me the truth. I feel without question that she is deeply ashamed about her death and having caused it, as well as the circumstances of some hidden aspect of her life leading up to it. My sense is that Jane was mentally ill and the people around her did not realize just how difficult it was for her to manage. That she may have intentionally created her own death would not sit well with them, and in Jane’s mind, that she led such a deeply troubled existence embarrasses her. She holds strong stigma around her mental struggles. I can’t force someone to tell the truth. All I can do is register if the vibration of what the being communicates matches its life force. Jane’s doesn’t. Despite that the details of her account don’t match up etherically, she’s been through a trauma and is expressing that she’s not ready to let go of it. Jane sits in a wonderfully peaceful space, so that when she is ready, she has the angelic support to move on well.

As I leave her, something odd happens. From a remote view, I see myself walking away from Jane, who is still seated on the rocks with the angelic beings. Jane turns into a large, bright green reptile and explodes, projecting herself toward me. The beings intervene and keep her from reaching me. Not common, though not unheard of, altercations with the disembodied occur. My sense of Jane’s aggression toward me is that she is deeply ashamed and doesn’t want anyone to know how her hidden life contributed to her death. For me that last act seals that Jane is mentally imbalanced, and was so at her death.

I don’t feel that anyone else was directly involved in Jane’s death. I do think that there could be a clandestine relationship on the periphery, though it was with a woman, not a man. I don’t feel that this woman was aware of Jane’s mental condition. I also feel that Jane is keeping her body from being found, and that’s why she’s not moving on. In her consciousness, which is not balanced, she equates being found with secrets revealed. I don’t feel that her body would reveal any foul play or evidence of an untoward lifestyle. Still, her shame over her death is deep. I feel that she is safely contained, though her earthly conscious is still very much engaged. I expect that she will move on when she feels safe to do so.

BFF, I’m sorry for your loss, and I hope that you find the mundane answers that you need to find your balance.