The Shape of Fear is Reality

Dear Kelley, I am 39 years old and I have been fortunate to work for five years with “Estee Lauder” before owning my own ladies high-end clothing store. I lost the store through a divorce and have not been able to find my career niche since. I have a seven year old daughter and I spent time raising her but I have been looking into opportunities and they seem to come up dead ends. What does my future hold in “business” and in “love”? Where do I go from here? What is my “Life Purpose”? With many blessings, Dawn

Hi Dawn. Thanks for your note! I must say, I can really only tell you what your present holds, and given insights to that end, you write the script for your future. For instance, let’s say that the script of your spiritual present looks something like this:

~*~*~*~

Across barren hills smoke and flames rise. Moving closer, the burning remains of a small village are evident. A woman stands just beyond the flames, wringing her hands and looking otherwise disheveled. A few feet from the woman a well-cared for infant lies in a basket, perfectly content, yet surrounded by fire and destruction.
Me: Do you know the baby?
You: Yes.
Me: Are you upset because the baby is in the fire?
You: Yes.
Me: What troubles you about the baby being in the fire?
You: That it isn’t burning.
Pan back to see that the baby is still fine.
Me: Should the baby be burning?
You: I burn when I go into the fire.
Me: Is the baby you?
You: Yes.
Me: Do you understand that if you and the baby stay together, the baby can come out of the fire, and if you later choose to go back into it, you won’t burn?

The woman reaches into the fire and picks up the infant.

~*~*~*~

Dawn, you have a dual nature to fear high stress situations, yet not be able to get out of them. When you fear them, you “burn” and seek never to return to anything resembling flames-not even for a rescue mission. When you don’t fear them, you don’t “burn”, and the resulting high from stress leaves you so entrenched in it that you refuse to bail even when you know you should. The two ends of this polarity actually indicate the same energetic thrill seeking mindset-focusing solely on running from danger so completely that you end up mentally taking it with you, and willfully dancing with it so intensely that you become it. There are some strong Post Traumatic feelings around this scenario. I don’t get a specific indication of what that post trauma is about. It could be all the turmoil you’ve dealt with in your business personal losses, or it could be a feeling that existed prior to that time, only compounded by the more recent losses of this life. Regardless, I have the feeling you recognize that addictive relationship to danger, and both the emotional high and distress it creates. This thread of bolting or totally succumbing is woven from the same source into your professional concerns, and your love life. The mentality of sticking with something until the wheels come off is not working. It is in a sense exchanging continuity of the world around you for the opportunity to manifest your true Self. In the words of your guides, “She is shaping her reality according to fear.”

I don’t have the sense that your heart is in getting back into big business, or that you want to stay with the mind-based boyfriend. Both of these choices are more based in familiarity and security than true want. I understand the fear of not wanting to try something new. The thing is, this scenario isn’t about trying on a new career, or relationship. Taking the time and steps to manifest what your soul really wants out of life is what this lull in your life is about. The new thing you are going to have to try is living for yourself and not for others, and taking the gamble to cut out the things in your life that do not support your truth-however comfortable they may be–and creating room for the things to come that support your truth and foster it to grow.

Lady, you have got it going on. You can do this with flying colors. Put the effort and emphasis into your spiritual wellbeing that you have in honing your professional skills, and your payoff will be greater than you ever imagined on every level of being. Whatever your spiritual pursuits are, put your effort into them full tilt. Look to your daughter. She is already wrestling the demand to live for others, which is an incredible imposition on her truly independent nature. She was born knowing who she is and what her soul wants. Let her inherent abilities to that end teach you, while you teach her how to refine her skills, and to have the courage to live them in a society that would rather her be afraid. Cultivating this aspect of your relationship with her is going to help you both to grow together, and more into your paths. I wish you the best, Dawn! And I’m looking forward to reading the script you write for yourself!