Tag: animism

Soulmates and Divine Feminine

Dear Kelley, I have always had difficulties in romance, never seeming to find Mr. Right. Following a major health battle 10 years ago, I lost my interest in establishing a relationship, concentrating more on my own well being. This has led to a great deal of isolation. However, five years ago I began investing a great deal of time in a troubled, but joyful man. Last summer, his emotional betrayal of our friendship led to its demise. Although deeply disappointed in the loss, for me it was a wake up call and probably a blessing in disguise. Now that I’m free and healed, I’d like to know how to proceed to improve my romantic and personal life so that I can find lasting love and companionship in a soulmate relationship. Thank you for your insight. Atrium

Thank you for your note, Atrium. I have a little story to tell you. Once upon a time, there was a young woman who was a powerful sorceress, at the time when all women were powerful sorceresses and they knew it. The balance of the Divine Feminine was slipping from the planet, and Her male counterpart had become incredibly saddened by the plight of The People, the pain of His Goddess, yet realized the necessity of The People having to rebuild the balance themselves. You see, as any good active participant knows, we all appreciate more the things we’ve had to create for ourselves, than those created for us…

But this young woman wasn’t so insightful about this decline, as most of her time weren’t, and so many still aren’t. This beauty kept close the items of her magick—a jeweled dagger, a rough chunk of amethyst, several pieces of parchment with her thoughts on them, and a gold ring. It was the latter of these items that caused her the most distress, but it was the first of them which she used to carve out her grief. In what would seem an irrational fit, she gouged out the palms of her hands with the dagger, the only means she could devise of displaying her anguish, and permanently altering the seat of her power—the chakras in her palms. It was widely recognized in that time that a split among The People was occurring far more vast than merely a difference of religion, race, culture, or even gender… Yet it was that latter distinguishing feature in the “evolution” of humankind that the final and most lasting spiritual blow was dealt to our planet: the differentiation of the sexes had devolved into the basis on which not our social status was judged, but our souls. Many men of the time, due to the adjustment to living as separate and distinct sexes, had forgotten how to make their own true soul magick, and reinvented it in a very earthly based etheric rape of that of women. It wasn’t so clear cut as that, but ANYONE, male or female, who continued to uphold tenets of the Divine Feminine were subject to great punishment. The context of this tragedy pained the young sorceress beyond anything she could have imagined possible, yet she was more pained to know that her beloved fiancé had become one of those who sought to keep the Feminine from this plane.

She had tortured herself with knowing that she could not be with such a mate and be true to herself, yet knowing that he remained her soulmate whom she loved infinitely. After much soulsearching and a brief encounter with an angel, the young woman allowed herself to be taken into the realm of the Divine and be healed by the Great Spirit. Her power was restored. She no longer grieved the loss of a life spent with her soulmate. She finally understood that even in his own way, her dear lover was playing out his role in teaching humanity what it needed to learn for itself about the power in honoring the Whole Divine, creating a Whole Humanity. The young woman returned to the place of her dwelling and found that all of her riches, the strongest elements of her power that had been stolen from her in her grief, were buried in the forest. Her heart was tinged with sadness as she knew it was her lover who had stolen this power from her and hidden it, yet she was not moved to take this power back for herself. Instead, she buried it more thoroughly as a symbol of her commitment to and a gift for the Universes that she would play out her role in restoring the balance of the Divine Whole to the planet. She did not need to take this elemental power back because she had learned to source her power from a higher plane.

Atrium, you do not need to play out that role on a Universal level anymore. You have done your part in sacrificing aspects of your own personal life to a greater planetary good. The lovely young woman, a past life soul aspect of you who came to me, has been healed. That in and of itself has created a deep shift for you spiritually, even on a cellular level. This wound, which has been personal and simultaneously Universal carried over lifetimes, is gone for you. You now have the freedom within All That You Are to have deep soulful relationships. Yes, we are still as a collective healing this Original Wound. But this is the part where the Universes pay you back, by letting you know that your focus can return solely to you. To heal yourself is the greatest thing you can do for all of us at this time. It is through this healing that you can now create the space for a soulmate to enter your life. You are an incredibly gifted intuitive, and it is safe for you to be you again. Take some time to meditate on what your soul wants you to do with this newfound freedom. She will lead you toward receiving the blessings of the Universes that are rightfully yours. Be well, Atrium!

Relationship Homework

Dear Kelley, I am 41, divorced 4 years. I was only IN love once before, and he died without me ever telling him. Until 2 years ago I never had those feelings for anyone else. I met a man whom I couldn’t get out of my mind since the first hello. He is married, though a year ago we gave in to our desires and have fallen in love. He has a home life similar to the one I left. Am I waiting and believing in vain? Part of me feels like I’m dying each time he walks away, knowing he is going “home”. I need strength to let him go, or faith to hold on for what I believe would be the kind of love most people only dream of. I feel so alone…. Becky

Hi Becky, and thank you for your note. You are still very much attached to this first love who died. I don’t see this as an attachment to him, per se, but more to how wonderful YOU felt about yourself in having such a deep connection with him. This was a time in your life in which you felt more alive than ever, and you thrived in that light. Literally, aspects of you blossomed that had not experienced the right conditions to prior. When I ask your guides about this, I see you standing on an empty beach. You are the only sign of life for miles, by land, air or sea. You stand there for what seems a long time, then I see you dig up your personal effects (some of which are related to this former love) and move on to another space. This scene is very much about you moving into a space and wanting to make connections, yet you do not divulge the deeper parts of yourself. You bury them for safekeeping. The pattern is quite logical for the loss you felt when this man died. However, it is that act of holding out for the conditions to be exactly as you want them to that leaves you “taking your playthings home.” Not to suggest that you shouldn’t create the place in your life to have exactly the love you want and need, but that place has to be created by SHARING your Authentic Self, not by hoarding it until certain criteria are met. Cos in truth, holding back in any fashion in matters of love and truth is not your Authentic Self.

I really don’t see that this lull in your current relationship is due to the love interest not making a decision about what HE wants. In fact, that is a very small factor in the overall dynamic. From what I am seeing, even for this new deep love you have not fully put yourself out there, still burying your most amazing qualities. I understand your reluctance to do so given the status of things. You are waiting for him to make a move so that you can then step out as your radiant Self. You are giving up the ability (control) to just step out and be who are you to a man who cannot make that choice for himself. You and he are in your own ways not choosing to move forward in this relationship. He doesn’t want to deal with getting out of his marriage, and since the death of this other love, you have become afraid to voice true feelings, to live true intent. Regardless of your reasons, energetically, it is still holding back. The relationship, no matter how strong your feelings are for each other, will collapse under this kind of stagnancy. Someone has to make a move, and that will be you. Don’t get me wrong–no excuses for him. He has created his own karma to be dealt with in this, and in his own time he will do just that. I do see him as being your significant partner in this life. The energy between you is very balanced and complementary. I can’t tell you what he’s going to do or when, about his legal relationship, obligations or his obvious guilt about it all. What I can tell you is that you have to be willing to rise up in who you are, and live her when your hands feel most tied. You want to feel the vitality in yourself that you felt with the first love. A vast part, if not all of that elation was coming from living in the present, in your truth, even if you did not get to share it at the level that you wanted to. You have to reconnect with that precious life force, and you have to realize that you no longer have to stifle any part of who you are, or your feelings. You can say it out loud. You can give it power. You are not here to hide your True Self. Remember that we do not love on the basis of what may be, but on what is. You have to love this guy now, and not “some day” or “when”. This is something he is learning as much as you are, and your ability to rise up will be a great teacher to him. You can choose not to teach him anything; rather, you can stand in your truth and decide you can’t tolerate the current status anymore. It is an option. I encourage you to allow the lovely parts of you to come to light, no matter what the situation is with him, and see for yourself what you really want. The possibility of a loving life with him is there. Hold the love you feel for him against this amazing treasure you’ve retrieved from within yourself. Do they coexist well NOW? Do they build each other NOW? It is in that balance that you find your answers for where this relationship is going. You will have to do that homework before you know. Be well, Becky!

Emotional Submission

I am a 33-year old mother of 2 pre-teen boys. Last year my boyfriend and I ended a 3-year relationship that had included our opening a business together. He is 50 years old and we have started seeing each other again. We can’t seem to stay away from each other. When we were together I often felt that we had a connection from another life. We broke up twice in the 3 years we were together. I have to admit that I enjoy the comfort and the wooing that he surrounds me with, though at times I feel somewhat smothered by his love, which seems to be more than what I feel. I keep wondering what are we doing…I love him and he loves me but I have a rough time seeing him in my long term future. Though at the moment, the thought of a serious relationship makes me feel like I can’t breathe. He seems to be ready to wait for me. Should I just put an end to the lover part of it and keep a friendship? Also, is there a way to take some of your workshops online because I live in Canada and can’t get to you. ~E~

Thank you for your note, E. It doesn’t happen often that I see the spiritual manifestation of the object of the question, rather than the poser of the question. However, when I ask your guides for insight to share with you, I see a soul aspect of the man in question, rather than one of you. I see this aspect on his knees brushing up crumbs into a dustpan, and he’s quite intent on completing this task for someone else–it is not of his own initiative that he is doing it. However, it is your guides who give commentary on what I’m shown. They indicate that this is a very old pattern for him, submissive by means of feeling that he owes some part of himself or his service to someone. I do not know who that original someone is. The emphasis is not on the personality, but on the pattern of submission, which he has carried into the present as emotional submission/doting. That pattern of emotional submission is what is turning you off, not a lack of feeling for him. The indication I have from your guides is that if he can resolve that pattern, he will have better emotional boundaries in giving and taking, and you won’t feel smothered. When you no longer feel smothered, you will be able to respond to his authentic Self, not a karmic pattern that happens to be very triggering for you. Being lulled into the emotional comfort zone that he provides keeps you from being true to yourself, and THAT is the real point of focus. This dynamic is in a way drawing out lesser qualities in both of you. It is not the best foot forward for either of you. However, you can’t hinge your healing and growth on what he, or anyone else does, or perhaps, doesn’t do. He may never realize this pattern in his behaviour, and that’s ok. We are each on our own paths. Independent of him (or others) you have to base your healing on yourself, and stand in who you are. There is a delicate boundary between stepping into who you truly are at the cost of losing relationships around you, and realizing when someone else’s lack of being authentic interferes with *your* ability to grow. We can’t just ditch everyone who seems to move us in directions we don’t want to go, or most of us would remain perpetually alone. Ultimately our souls choose the lessons we need, and most often those lessons come in challenging relationships. Sometimes the lesson is in knowing when to step away from someone, and sometimes the lesson is in seeing how those challenging relationships foster your growth. It isn’t about him being overbearing or possibly not feeling the same for each other, but about if he can be on his unique path, and you continue to grow on yours, together. When I see a soul aspect of you, it is incredibly empowered and assured. Connect with this part of yourself. In your meditative space, ask your soul what is right for you to do in this relationship. Ask what action affirms your authentic Self, where this relationship is concerned. Because when you realize that you have everything you need within and stand in your authentic Self, the confusion about this man will resolve.

To note about my workshops and classes–I do not at this time teach them online or over distance. The techniques of journeying really require personal attention and the sacred space that results from communing souls. I do travel to do workshops, where there is a willing host to organize an event. I also do some distance work FOR others. Please feel free to email me with any inquiries, and I hope that we can meet sometime, E! Be well!

Habit of Sacrifice

Dear Kelley, My husband and I have been married almost 5 years. We have 2 children — M and L, ages 3 and 21 months. My husband is in the National Guard and is scheduled to deploy to Iraq. He will be leading a combat unit of 12 soldiers working in a law enforcement/sniper unit being assembled now. I have very vivid dreams. I dreamt that I saw him being killed along with several other American soldiers and Iraqi soldiers. I had the dream before I knew he was being deployed. What is also bad is that he and I are struggling to stay together. The “divorce” word has surfaced several times, but we don’t want to pursue it before he deploys. After our latest discussion of divorce, I dreamed that 1000 white horses were running out of white trees with green leaves. I felt very clearly that I would be free. But I don’t know at what cost. My questions are:

* Will D be killed in Iraq?
* Will D and I divorce?
* Will my husband have a good relationship with our boys?
* Will our children lead happy lives?
* Will I ever be happy?

Thanks, Julie

Thank you for your note, Julie. Indeed, there is a lot going on energetically for you. You feel incredibly weighed down by responsibility, and that you have sacrificed your happiness for little in return. The reality is, that is exactly what’s happened. You have gotten into the habit of giving up bits of yourself here and there for so long that you have very little left for, or OF yourself. Sacrifice often seems romantic, especially when we’re young. Men and women in their own way are socialized to expect certain levels of sacrifice in relationships. Even among enlightened people many feel sacrifice is necessary. It rarely is, though. Where compromise is a willed even exchange of power, and an agreement to foster growth in yourself and your partner, sacrifice is a willed loss of power. In all of time, there have been very few instances where sacrifice was truly warranted. You do not have to carry the lineage of sacrifice anymore.

Years ago I read in a popular poll that the number one fantasy of married women was that their husband’s die. NOT that they wished their husbands to die, NOT that they had ill will or were planning their demise… The emphasis of the fantasy was on having a perceived clean break, to be able to start over without guilt or baggage of any kind. The more I have explored this with women in my sphere, the need for that trapdoor way out of relationships holds quite true. Traditionally, women have often been hostage in their own marriages, emotionally, financially, or otherwise. I bring this up to you because although your fear of your husband’s death in Iraq is real, your personal desperation on the home front is more pressing. I do not have a sense that his death will be there, or that it won’t. I do not have access to that information as it should be at this time. What your guides are telling me is that you have to have the courage and self respect to make the choices you know you need to for yourself, which means to make them in spite of the unknown. This part of your life is not about what will or will not happen to your husband, but about what level of creative control you are willing to have over your life.

It concerns me that you do not feel your children will lead happy lives. The reality is, the likelihood that they will is very small if their parents don’t. This you can change. This you have control over. Your husband may not be able to do that, but you can. You can not make him; that is his choice and part of what his ego must work out with his soul in this lifetime. I have a very strong sense that your children are teaching him about this inner conflict on some level, even if he does not remain an active part of their lives. In its own way, that is ok. Within healthy reason, let him interact as he will with them. Forcing him to be “father” may actually make things worse. While that distance from him will create karma for all of you to deal with, the significance must be on balancing it, and not recreating it by making demands on your husband that he genuinely at this point in his life is just not up to fulfilling.. There is definitely a block in him around family roles. The thing is, you and the children can balance your karmic ties to what your husband is dealing with, such that you give back to him what is his to deal with and not take it on yourself any further. I’m not suggesting that you not be angry or not express your feelings about his conduct, but that you find the way to flow with it, rather than against it. Realize the point that he cannot hear you, and that you redirect that energy in a way that helps YOU. That will help your stress level and your children more than anything. They are still young enough that they have not forgotten their spiritual natures. Help them hold it. You can learn a lot about how to honor your own from just observing them. They have come into your life intentionally. They CHOSE you. Honor their excellent choice by giving yourself the care and happiness that you need, they will do the same for themselves.

Please seek out the supports you need in making the changes in your life right now. Whatever counseling or legal advice you need, get those supports in place so that you can release stress. If you know energy workers, that type of release is priceless. I know that your nerves are quite frazzled right now, and it is paramount that you reach into your community or family for support. This gesture is going to give not just you, but your children also, more support. I see that there is a network for you to access, but you must make the opening for it to come. Along with that habit of sacrifice, you have developed the habit of not allowing others to be close to you. This distance is a way of recreating the cycle of sacrifice. In short, it has become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You no longer have to make choices in your life based on fear. You are powerful, and you have powerful spiritual allies. At least two of them are living in your own home. As with every spiritual undertaking, find the means that you communicate with your soul. When you act, speak and live fully in what your soul needs, you have the foundation to create change based in wellbeing and balance. You truly do have everything you need to make the transition to freedom. You are deeply intuitive and aware. Manifest that awareness in positive change. That is the only step you are not taking. My thoughts are with you and your family, Julie.

Career and Life Direction

Dear Kelley,I left a comfortable job with the government service and stepped into commercial sector thinking that I will make it. However, it’s been 3 years, and it seems that I have moved from bad to worse. I have learned a lot and gotten what I want in terms of experience and exposure. More often, whenever I am given a task, I know inside of me that I can do a fantastic job but I just couldn’t give the kind of output I thought I would like to. What is happening? Thanks in advance for your help and I look forward to hearing from you soon. Best regards, Tristen

Thank you for your note, Tristen. There has been a radical shift in the job market in almost every major industry over the last three years. You are far from alone in your feelings of concern and confusion. This transition has been difficult for many to hold, yet it has also refined for many their true paths, when without the bumps in the road, they would never have noticed the scenery around them. Your guides tell me first thing that you need to make part of your belief system that you are capable of knowing and conscientiously making your own path. What you are dealing with is not about a job, or the means by which you support yourself, so much as manifesting your natural abilities into what makes you whole. When you make that transition in thinking and awareness, you will also have manifest the path that supports you. We have a tendency to get locked into thoughts of paying the bills, putting food on the table, defining success in a particular skillset or career, meeting certain financial goals or providing an expected level of creature comforts… None of these things fill the void of not being connected to our path. Few people realize the need for the transition in focus to the soul, and try harder to fill the void with mundane trinkets. A quite modern convention of dealing with this has become believing that one’s job must in and of itself meet and maintain the desired lifestyle AND fulfill the soul. Even in that line of thinking, which is still very ego based, the emphasis is still on meeting the material needs, and very much not those of the soul. It must work in reverse, that when the needs of the soul are met, the mundane is secure.

When I ask what your life purpose is, I get a great deal of confirmation that it has to do with speaking, or teaching. Specifically, teaching others through your own ability to speak your truth, to speak their own. You are a wonderful orator, but this ability has been honed around speaking the truths of others, not your own. In other words, teaching the concepts of others, delivering a message based in a construct not of your own devise, has been the arena in which you displayed these skills. As a result, the skills have reached a point at which they can no longer develop. This is the place you reference in not getting the output you wanted from your efforts. Your efforts are being directed externally, and not internally. The way that these skills develop further is by speaking your own truth. When you speak your truth, you empower not only the words you are saying, the concepts you are expressing, but yourself and those who hear them. It is a rich process of co-creation and manifestation, fostering the same in all who hear you. You also build your own esteem.

Your guides also indicate that you know what your truth is, you just haven’t expressed it, and it has never occurred to you that this omission is affecting your “professional” life. I highly encourage you to begin exercising this ability further by speaking whatever your truth is about the topic at hand. Even if you are only saying it to the mirror, make it a daily ritual to get up in the morning, and first thing say something true to yourself. Create this habit. This practice alone will hone your intuitive abilities exponentially. Practice speaking your truth in the company of others, even if it’s only about food items, or the way your current project is going. You will learn quickly who wants to hear your truth, and who doesn’t, how to deliver it without prejudice, ego, or defense. And as with all authentic action, you will attract those who share your truth, and can help you not only develop all of your skills further, but to expand your truth, itself. You will realize how delicate and precious truth is, also how subjective and ever-shifting. The more you practice this skill of speaking with authenticity the more avenues are going to unfold for you professionally, to the extent that part of your path IS sharing your truth with others on a regular basis.

Value your own worth, your own spiritual insights. If you feel that you have not cultivated your feelings enough to articulate them, do some reading, and especially some soul searching. Learn methods of communicating with your soul. Create that rapport so that you refine this life purpose to utter clarity, so that you can share it. What you have to share is much needed in this world. I look forward to listening. Be well, Tristen!