Radical Honesty

Hello Kelley, .I have been in a job that I hated for 4 years. I finally have been selected for a new promising position. I have to wrap things up in this current job, during which I’ve gained weight, my hair fell out in some spots, my blood pressure was elevated, and I fell in love with someone who I thought loved me as I did him. I cant figure out what it was between us. I just want to be happy and secure and in a mutually loving relationship, which I have never had even when I was married….HELP!

Wow! It definitely sounds like you are making a wonderful improvement in changing jobs. To be miserable in your job–which is where most people physically spend most of their time–takes a great toll on the form itself. What feels so uncomfortable in the environment manifests as illness in the body, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I have the sense that you haven’t felt very linked to a “home”, in terms of your body, itself, being the corporeal home to your soul, or in the external sense of a place return to and rest. The connection to home is very important to your balance. It’s really important for you to honor your body and give it attention. Working on any issues around self-image and confidence right now is going to give you a wonderful sense of just how a great a support you can really be to yourself. I feel like some part of you does not realize just what a wellspring of strength and beauty you really are TO YOURSELF. Also, creating a space around you that you look forward to being in is very significant. That feeling of coming home, literally, being able to relax there is an outward expression of the “home” you carry within you.

When I ask your guides about the man, I have a visual of you at the top of a cliff throwing off sheets of paper on which you have written something. Way down at the bottom is the man, walking back and forth picking up your pages, keeping all of them. You have a very close bond in that, one of you creating (in this case, you) while the other holds that energy for the other–or keeps life in a state of balance for the creator (you) to do the work. You guys have been doing it this way for lifetimes, and it has worked well for you. The thing is, this time, nothing is coming of it. The creation isn’t becoming manifest; it’s just being put out and held. There is something in communicating with him that was never put on the table. My sense is that was both ways–not just that you did not confide, but him, as well. I don’t know what the outcome of being radically honest with each other will be, but I know that it is going to get you over this hump of not manifesting what you create together. Be open to the possibility that although this man is spiritually connected to you, the best way for things to come into being may not be in a romantic sense. In fact, trying to force it to be ANY specific way will only keep you at the top of the cliff, and him at the bottom. Take good restful care of yourself, and soulsearch in that quiet space. If you do not already know what has been withheld in that relationship, you will. Then talk to him. He is very approachable, and in that fact alone is an intense mutual love. Be well!