Category: Q&A

Somnambulist Women in Gelatinous Waters

Hi, Kelley I’m married to a very stable, kind man with whom I have never been in love. I love him as a dear friend but not romantically. We have a 7 year old son. My husband is in love with me and I know if I leave he is going to be devastated. Also I am very much worried about the effects of this on my son. I truly feel like I’m dying in this relationship. It’s like part of me is being shut down. I feel this overwhelming desire to be on my own but I’m afraid. I met someone awhile ago with whom I felt the most amazing connections–like we had known each other forever. Then we had a big falling out.. Any chance this person will ever come into my life again? Thanks, Carol.

Thank you for your kinds words, Carol! From time to time I am gifted with a vision of women who are trapped in gelatinous waters. They are not dead, but don’t know they can swim or get out of the water. The women just stay there like lovely terrifying water puppets. On rarer occasions, I observe a woman who can navigate those filmy waters with grace and ease. When I ask your guides for insight into you, I am shown that you swim through these waters very easily–it is your nature to. What stands out is that as you move through, you free an elderly woman from the muck and lift her to the shore. The woman is nonresponsive, and is clearly someone you are seeking to release from this state of not-really-being. On the shore, you build a pyre and burn her body. Then her soul is fully released.

I ask your guide what this scene indicates, and he tells me of a vow (or some would say a curse) that has been passed down through the women in your family, to stay in unhappy marriages and generally unhappy life situations. You are aware of this vow on some level, and although you have elected not to perpetuate that mindset, you have not yet made the choice to actually change your lifestyle to support fully releasing it. Your guide says, “Through attempting to control her own heart, she has created a false sense of controlling his,” meaning your husband. You have hidden away your true feelings for so long that you don’t fully recognize the true feelings of others at the moment. In other words, placing the responsibility of action (to leave or not to leave) on the emotional state of your husband (possible devastation) is transference. It’s not taking responsibility to manifest your own free will. Believing that he will be unable to cope if you leave him is a way of keeping that vow alive using false logic. This man on some level knows you do not return his feelings. He has consented to remain with you somewhat due to his own insecurities, not wholly out of devoted love. The thing that is false in this means of control is that no one presents his or her Authentic Self; rather, both hide behind their Truth.

However you both managed to end up where you are standing in this very moment is no accident, but has been of your souls’ device. At this point it is paramount that you reconnect communication with your soul (if you haven’t already), and that you act in accordance with what She instructs. Literally, give your Soul and High Self and permission to do the work that must be done to allow you to live your Truth. Create the space for the work to happen, and act when you know you need to. You will know the right time. As you well know, the work is not going to be easy, but it will be a lot easier than being unhappy. And your husband probably will be beside himself for a while. Even breakups under the best of circumstances hurt madly for all involved. Trust that he can take care of himself, as can you. Part of living your truth is allowing him to live his, and trusting that the greater good is manifesting for All. As long as you walk in accordance with your soul’s guidance, you are manifesting the greater good.

Your son is more tuned into the suffering than you think he is. He will carry his worldly confusion about it all, but he still has close ties to his spiritual knowledge that all of you deserve happiness, however that comes into being. That spiritual guidance is what you must appeal to for yourself, and for him. Your leap of faith will be one of his greatest teachers in loving and being true to himself.

You do have a strong affinity to this other man. I see that with your soulwarrior nature and the healing you are embarking upon, you will attract many to you who share your path and spiritual resonance. There is much you have stuffed away, not just the realization that you need to leave this marriage. This man may well be among the many fascinating admirers who come into your life, but you are going to have so many choices along the way you may not care… I wish you the best, Carol. You are a bright star for whom it is time to shine. If you have not read “The Invitation” by Oriah Mountain Dreamer, I invite you to do so, quickly… Be well!

Bonded, at Arm’s Length

Hi Kelley, There is a man who is a very big part of my life. I have a wonderful kinship with this person. We have worked together for a little over 10 years now and it is a great relationship. We seem to think alike, and it is like we’ve known each other forever. I feel that we are together for a reason but I am not sure what the future holds. I am deeply in love with this person but it has taken time to develop this relationship. He is not available, but I am. I feel like I have met my soulmate only to be held at arms length. I am not sure I get it. How long is too long to wait for someone? Sheila

Hi Sheila, and thank you for your note. I feel the sense of “being at arm’s length” that you describe. You have a very close soulful bond with this man that is quite old. This bond is mutually acknowledged and has been over lifetimes. You have quite a good balance between you energetically as well as in personality, which has resulted in many lives together as partners in what feels like a romantic bond. The thing that strikes me in what your guides show me is that you have waited for him before, as well. In fact, you have waited for him many times, and this waiting seems to be the predominant theme throughout all your lives together.

I see you pacing, standing with your arms folded across your chest. You are not angry, but not thrilled either about his absence from your intimate life. Where this relationship is concerned, you are filled with a stillness on a spiritual level that is the same as holding one’s breath. This conscientious choice to “wait” at such a deep level stifles your life force. Your guides indicate to me that all the right “pieces and parts” are there for this relationship to be successful. However, I do not see it coming together in a traditional full-time committed fashion. It’s not his style, and I don’t mean that in terms of him seeing other people, necessarily. I just don’t feel from him that it is within his deeper needs to have that traditional kind of relationship. This relationship can definitely work, as you have so much between you spiritually and energetically, but it will be a creative lifestyle model that you have with him. I do not see him ending that trend of coming in and out of your life. I also do not see that trend as a wound that he carries, but truly how he moves in relationships.

Your guides indicate that you need to take an active stand for what you truly want WITHIN YOURSELF. I don’t mean pushing him into a relationship, or giving him an ultimatum. You cannot push him; you cannot change him. The sense I am getting is that you have to choose how to let life flow FOR YOU regardless of what he chooses. This stand may mean putting it all out on the table with no expectations of him, just articulating clearly your own need to be fully honest about your feelings. This stand may pertain to completing some tangential things in your life that you have put off doing “until” something with him works out, like a vacation, a hobby/class or other self-indulgent interest. I also feel that you may be more flexible in your relationship style than you have thought you could be. Again, that conclusion can only come after realizing your true needs and wants, and not from trying to accommodate his. It must be authentic.

You have waited already waited too long, and your soul, has tired of the pacing. Allowing your life force to flow is what the core issue is at this time. Ascertain exactly what in your life you must shift to bring your emphasis back to yourself, and go ahead with it. This phase of your growth is very much about action, not reaction. It’s time to break that “arm’s length” pattern, and breathe in freedom. Be well, Shelia.

When Pink is a Green Light

Dear Kelley, I have been on an 8 month journey trying to heal from a breakup. The person who has my heart and soul has moved 2 thousand miles away, and I have been trying through meditation, soul searching, and reflection to divine the outcome of us. Before he left, he said he would be back for me. He occasionally still says he loves me, but likes where he is for right now. I would wait for him forever–I feel that strongly our link. Am I fooling myself? Thank you.

You are not fooling yourself. The feelings are real, the connection with this man is real. So is that the two of you are not in the same place, literally or figuratively. There is nothing wrong with being in different places, on any level. You have done an excellent job respecting his space and his need to find his place in the world. You have been very tolerant and in your way, nurturing of him to do this. However, for you, holding on to a relationship that is not for the most part indicating a green light is very significant.

I have a sense of there being an energy block that is associated with manifesting deep romantic relationships in your life, or at least with being “stuck” with this one man. I am seeing that this block for you is related to your heart chakra, which oddly enough, traditionally appears as a glowing green light. When I look at yours, I see pink light, which tells me that you energetically do not have the go-ahead on this relationship. The pink light indicates to me that you have a great deal of Goddess energy sitting with you right now, but it has stopped at your heart. It has not been moved through your entire chakra system, which it must do. When energy stops at a chakra and doesn’t pass through, it creates a block in the energy flow, and in your life. Heart chakra blocks tend to revolve around issues of love, specifically compassion for All Things. This Goddess energy that is sitting in your heart is a wonderful thing, but it needs to be manifest. With it “stuck” here, issues are cropping up in your life.

Before I continue with the reading, I will explain a very general bit about the chakra system. In this channel down your spine are 7 primary chakras, or bridges that connect you to All That Is. Each bridge, or chakra, resonates to a different level of being, different qualities, different aspects of the Universes. Through this channel your life force (chi, prana, ki, energy…) flows from above the top of your head (crown) to the base of the spine (root), from Spirit. Life force also flows from the root upward to the crown, into All That Is (Spirit). What these unique currents of energy accomplish is key. The life force flowing into you from Spirit allows you to “harness” your power. In manifesting that power, you consciously return that energy to all of life by making all of your actions dedicated to it. At a simplistic level, that intake/outtake is how your chakra system works.

When you have a block, such as one at the heart chakra, it helps to identify where that block is occurring–on the way in (empowering) or on the way out (manifesting). This block for you lies in manifesting. You do not have a problem finding love and identifying it. You are aware of the way love moves in your life. However, there is something constricting your ability to truly allow it to come into being in the highest way that it can for you.

Examining this pink light at your heart, it feels very related to being in touch with Goddess from a mothering standpoint. By mothering, I mean nurture, standing back as the disciplined one in an arrangement, as the figure who will do the right thing when called to action. The thing is, this being the responsible one for everyone else, this standing back “waiting” behaviour is creating a block in your life force, and in your life. The time of waiting has passed. The occulation of Venus in Gemini has reconnected an incredible Crone Goddess power to the planet, and She’s in no holding pattern. She’s the mature Feminine Divine, and She’s got a mess to clean up in terms of our understanding of the Crone, the Great Mother, and Goddess. Our collective understanding of the Feminine Divine tends to be dark and identified with the shadow. She has been outcast from our cultures in any positive light, for the most part. As a result, we have lost our ability to value the elderly, wise “tough love” attributed to women who have the experience to know what time it is. That is no coincidence. The thing is, we have to be able to hold ALL of these archetypes–shadow, wise woman, self-effacing mother… and work through them at our own pace and peace to the fullness of holding our own Divine Feminine within.

You have already allowed this Goddess energy into your life force, but it’s not moved all the way through to your root, and it’s definitely not being reflected out in your actions. Do a bit of reading about the chakras, and in your meditative space visualize this energy around your heart, moving it down to the base of your spine. Connect to all the feelings, sensations and thoughts that come up while you do this. They will give you further indication of where your power lies, and of where it needs further attention. An excellent meditation on how to move it up the spine (to manifest) is Tom Kenyon’s “The Magdalen Manuscript” and the accompanying CD. This type of movement into manifestation is exactly what the book and CD meditations were created for. When you can move that powerful Goddess energy through you, and manifest it in your life, you are not going to stand by for anything. You will see that green light, and hold that pink Goddess aura all through your being. You won’t have to react from a defensive shadow, or defenseless maid, but from within your own place of balanced creation and manifestation. In short, you will know what you truly want, and that you shall have, because you will create it. I don’t know if this man will be part of what you create. But I do know that when you work with this energy, you will no longer question if you should wait. Be well!

Original Wounds and the Present

Dear Kelley, I have been married for almost nine years and I have two small children. Right after we celebrated our four year old’s birthday, we stopped speaking to each other and it’s been almost two weeks. It all started after we took a mini vacation so that our four year old could go on a train ride. Needless to say, our 16 month old was teething and we did not get any sleep while on vacation. Normally, this would just blow over, but my husband was angry enough with me to just stop all communication. It’s strange because life seems to go on pretty well without much input from him. I do miss help with the children, but I am worried that this is the beginning of the end. I’m not even sure what I should wish for. Sincerely, Laurie

Hi Laurie! Thanks for your note! First off, I would like to clarify that when I do a soul reading for someone, it is the guides of the client that I work with primarily, not mine. My guides are there to protect and ground me, but information about you is coming from your guides. They show me whatever it is that they want you to know about the situation at hand, or life in general.

When I ask your guides for insight into that trip and the interaction that brought about the silent treatment, I see one of your guides, a female, creating a fanning motion in the atmosphere around her–almost like she is massaging the environment around you. This is her way of showing me that she is intentionally stirring up the energy in your life–in relationships, internally and externally. She is trying to wake you to something, or deal with a dynamic between you and your husband, or in some way related to intimate bonding, that existed well before the vacation incident.

When I ask her what that incident is/was, I see her holding an infant, a female. This baby is a spirit “child”, who was born and died. However this manifests in your life, what I am seeing is that a silence that occurred during some loss of a close female child in your and/or your husband’s life is what is influencing your relationship with him now. In other words, the sense of loss felt in that experience by you and/or your husband was triggered in the exchange while you were on vacation. The specific trigger in that exchange was your husband feeling that he was not being heard, or was unable to express his emotions about the situation. Was he at some point unable to grieve with external support the passing of a female child in his life? That original wound is the one really being felt right now, not a current exchange. I also have a very strong sense of both of you dealing with deep emotional states, such as grief, in isolation of each other, not in a collectively supportive way. The silence of each of you seems to influence the wound to grow.

When I ask the guide and the child what needs to occur here, I am led to take the child to Spirit. It seems that her not fully moving over created part of the inability of you and/or your husband to release this emotional “silence” dynamic. The guide indicates that there is still work to be done between you and your husband, and how that progresses is up to each of you individually, and collectively. You have both in your way been stunted by this wound, and it’s created distance between you. However, this is the point that you can create of that wound a deeper connection between the two of you, and more functional emotional outlets individually. Be well, Laurie!

Spiritually Preparing for Surgery

Good afternoon, My name is Josée. I am scheduled for surgery on June 23 2004 and am getting quite nervous. Any insight on your part would be great. Thank you! Josée

Hi Josée. Thanks for your note! Upon asking your guides about this surgery, I see that you are very much protected and cared for. I see 7 spirits, guides and loved ones who are in the spirit world now, attending you through this period. They literally, physically assist your body in remembering healthy function, and assist your soul in facilitating its own reconnection to the body after surgery. Not only does the body have its unique connection to your soul and Higher Power, but every individual cell does. Many people with Hyperhidrosis condition also suffer from excessive hand sweating. It is at this level of awareness that you must be at this time. Surgery affects not just the physical, but the etheric body, which is the term I use to summarize the entire manifestation of a creature that is in this realm, and simultaneously is in other realms. Where surgery alters the physical form, particularly when things are removed from it, that etheric body part still remains needing care and acknowledgement.

Take great care to be as present as you can during this time, doing a great deal of affirming self-talk. Now more than ever you must co-create with your Higher Power your place of health. The part of you that is one with All That Is creates your existence. How you speak is very important to how you think and view yourself, as how you view yourself is the way you manifest in your life. You must manifest as the light creature that you are, but before you can do that, you must KNOW that you are that light creature. Pay attention to how you talk to your Higher Power. Instead of asking for outcomes (Please let my surgery go well) and focusing on things you feel you don’t have, (Please give me strength), focus on the innate soul qualities that you possess, and ALWAYS HAVE POSSESSED. When you ask for things, the emphasis is on the asking, the LACK of having, not the receiving. Not acknowledging what you already have as one of Spirit comes out as a lack of faith that you already embody what you need. You know that you are already high on the list of priorities of your Higher Power. You don’t have to ask for that. But do acknowledge it, so that you can fully manifest your health. You can manifest those soul qualities by changing how you speak, which changes how you think. For instance, in your meditative state, you might say, “With my Higher Power’s assistance I command my natural strength manifest in my life.” Or simply, “Thank you for my good health and wellness.” In both of those statements, rather than coming from a place of want or desparation, the emphasis is on honoring and acknowledging what you already have. The emphasis is on faith in yourself and your Higher Power.

Actively call on your guides and Higher Power to help you hold yourself in the highest place that you can for healing to occur. Particularly after surgery, take great care to ask your guides and Higher Power to send light to the surgery area. Visualize the color of the light, letting the color be whatever it needs to be. Let the light fill your body, and see it doing so.

I see you after surgery, incredibly renewed, in a way that changes your perspective on how you live. I see a shift in your approach to physical health, but also in how you look at life and feel about it. In one regard, this shift manifests for you in an artistic expression. I see you working with elements, literally earth and water–clay–putting this new perspective into creations that you share with the world. This artistic expression is one way you touch the lives of others, passing on this bright perspective. In this creative act, there is also the message that you know how to nourish yourself on all levels. You know how to live well, which is truly a rare thing. Celebrate it! You are in my thoughts, Josée. Everything is fine. =)

Life in the Mirror

Hi Kelley, Your work sounds interesting and is very unusual. I have two questions. Are you able to tell me if my Dad is ok? Secondly, I seem to be unable to extricate myself emotionally from a man who was never very good for me. Why this might be? And, why do I have such hard time establishing and maintaining relationships? Thank you. J.

Hi J. Thanks for your note. I have the sense that your father is comfortable with his choice, and is prepared for what lies ahead of him. I am not entirely clear on what that choice is, or what that means, but I see him in a very restful state, and surrounded with his creature comforts.

When I inquire about the relationship and not taking your power back from it, I see you standing before a mirror. When you touch the mirror is moves under your hands as a liquid, and sticks to your fingers like a salve when you pull away from it. Life happens behind you, but you are more fascinated with the mirror. Some quality of this man feeds your security of always only looking in the mirror and observing life, not fully actively participating in it. In other words, this man did not encourage you to life freely and grow in life’s experiences. It is certainly safe to live that way for a time, but safety eventually becomes constricting and self-limiting. This man is another mirror for you–another thing to lose yourself in and not be encouraged to grow. The total focus only on the mirror is the result of a hurt that was done to you. Remaining focused only on the mirror has sheltered you from really deeply connecting in relationships. The time that you can be sheltered has gone. The healing you need isn’t going to be found in the mirror, or in people-mirrors who would keep you from living your true Self. Your healing will be found in yourself, and in the company you seek to that end. You have an animal guide very ready to help you make this transition. There is a black bear with you, who tells me that he brings you the ability to stand with the resilience and peace of a mountain, as well with the incisiveness to move through survival to blissful connection with Nature… as yourself. Be well, J!

Fixating on Outcomes

Over the past few years, my life has changed in several ways. I’ve been in love with a woman for several years. She knows this, and there is chemistry definitely between us. My question to you is, will she ever “be” in my life and share my life with me or will she always walk the periphery? regards, wyldorchid

Thanks for your note! I see this woman as very much a muse to you in some energetic sense. Literally, when I ask your guides about your connection to her and how it manifests now, I see her standing in a vortex, interacting with what is on this side of it, and what is on the Other side of it, feeding you inspiration, and in some respects, power from that Other place. She is in some way a channel for you to grow spiritually, but also for you to gain some ability or gift you are to do in this life. It seems to be a mutually agreed upon act, although on the surface it seems very selfless of her. She gains from it, as well, though I can not clearly see how–that’s not for me to know. The thing is, I don’t see you doing anything WITH what she brings through for you. The sense of it that I have is you are very fixated on making a particular outcome to this relationship, specifically that it be romantic. But it isn’t, at least not in the way you want it to be. I can not say for sure that it can be that, but what I see is that by fixating on her in a specific way, you are missing out on the gift she is really bringing you. In fact, focusing on the connection being romantic at this point is actually thwarting both the Other gifts she can facilitate bringing you, and a deeper connection in that relationship. When you can relax the hold on “driving” your feelings for her in a certain direction and you can flow into the space she is holding for you, you will know with clarity what the best and highest nature of this connection and relationship really is. Moreover, you will learn something very significant to why you are on the planet at this time. Be well!

Doing for Self

Hello Kelley. My name is Nanny Eliana from Singapore. I am 25 years old and I have my own public relations and design company. It is now 3 years old. I wish to see what is in store for me in the next few years. I have been working very hard and I have yet to get my big break. When will it happen? Will the company grow? Also, I was told that I would be married by the end of this year and I’m a little apprehensive about it because I don’t see it happening. Will it happen? Do let me know what you think. Thank you and may plenty of blessings come your way! Thanks Nanny Eliana,

I do not know what will happen for your company, or for your steps toward marriage. What I see happening in your life is incredible personal growth, the kind that makes external outcomes nearly impossible to pin down. In short, you are going to be able to do whatever you want to do, manifest that growth and personal power however you wish to. You are experiencing a shift, such that the drive that you have applied to developing your career and mundane life is now demanding to be focused on your internal life, your deeper wants and needs. Who are you? What is your role here? You are quite used to expending your energy externally, for everything and everyone other than yourself. In order for your deeper wants and needs to be met, that pattern has to change, such that you become the compassionate center of your life. When you manifest that power in yourself, you are going to be blown away by the wonderful events and people who come into your life. You will be blown away to fully realize the wonderfully empowered woman you have always been.
Be well, Nanny Eliana!

Spirit Visitors and a House Full of Intuitives

Life has always been a challenge for me. I am a single mom raising two boys. My oldest son is on the verge of flunking 7th grade. It seems that no matter how hard I try to be the glue that sticks us together I am never enough. I work full time and commute 3 hours a day, which doesn’t leave me much time for being a mom. My real dream is to stay at home but being single, that seems like a virtual impossibility. My parents have been taking care of my kids while I work all of these years. I feel my mother is on her way out and I need to be thinking of a plan to help my father and keep taking care of my kids somehow. Also, I recently had a Reiki Master say that someone was around me for a while that had died in the 40s, whom I believe was my Uncle Ben. My home has been a hot bed for paranormal activity and this uncle has been on my mind. This Reiki Master seemed to think that my Uncle Ben has contributed to some of the unexplained activity in my home. I am having a difficult time understanding why the surgence in paranormal activity and this sense that something horrible and lifechanging is going to happen. Please help… Running Scared

Running Scared, I can see why your stress level is so high–you have a lot going on in and around you. There are several things coming from your note that I wish to comment on. First, as I’m sure you have sensed, the level of stress under which you are living does make you more susceptible to intrusions of a spiritual nature. You are being pulled in so many directions at once, it’s hard to take the time to ground, which you definitely need to do. The more centered you are, the less likely it is that other influences affect your own life force. On that note, if your Reiki practitioner or someone who does shamanic work can help you clear out any spiritual attachments overburdening you right now, as well as in your home and possibly in your sons, go for it. Get all the support you can in clearing the space of unwanted “strings”, and have the energy worker bring positive forces into you and your home. Doing BOTH parts of that process are very important: clearing, then bringing in healing light forces. Once you have this foundation, make it a daily practice to honor it. Your intuitive world is going to open leaps and bounds!

Another factor here is that you are a sensitive person. Most people do not have the external experiences that you are describing, and definitely not the internal ones. You truly can’t just walk away from gifts like that. The Universe will keep tapping you on the shoulder with bumps in the night until you delve further in to your abilities and learn what they are and how they benefit us all. In your prayers, meditation, or personal method of honoring Self and All, ask for that opening and acceptance to occur in you, that your gifts manifest, and that the teachers come who can best help you know how to use them. There is a great emphasis on faith in this transition for you, and releasing your fear to embrace your power will be significant in this process.

Something else that strikes me here is that you are raising 2 very special children on your own. Particularly the eldest may be considered an Indigo Child, and your youngest is definitely in the age range of a Crystal Child. If you are not familiar with these terms, definitely do some research. Both of your children are exceptionally gifted, and this is in part why the eldest is not doing well in traditional school. It truly does not suit his spiritual resonance, and he is torn between wanting to perform well on this mundane level, and needing to feed his own soul’s growth. For now he feels these two worlds as if in conflict with each other, posing a significant challenge to his soul’s growth.

Something else to keep in mind is that the energy on this planet is shifting. We are quickly moving toward a new consciousness on this planet, and the discomfort you are feeling about your life now is a reflection of that. You are being called to grow. This is the time to truly create the space to give thanks for the wonderful things in your life. It is from that same space that the things you perceive yourself as not having will emerge. You have three incredibly powerful and sensitive people living under one roof, that are each in their own way going through this same shift. You are all sensitives being called to do some kind of higher consciousness work, and trying to find your way with that. It will not be an easy shift, but it will be the one that brings you the peace you are seeking, as well as the answers. Be well!

Desparation and Distrust

Kelley, will I get an important message, or a boyfriend anytime soon? Will I get a message from a celebrity? Is there an untrustworthy person around me in my everyday life? Please help me, I’m desperate. ~Hannah

Hannah, Your desperation is noted. The distrust seems to be internal, manifesting as self-doubt. Without that grounding in yourself, wonderful supportive things can not manifest externally. Instead, the outside world becomes a mirror reflecting your own self-doubt by way of shadowy relationships, shifty interactions both personal and impersonal, maybe even professional. If your desperation feels rooted in this kind of draining murky cyclic energy, rather than in confident light, consider taking up some meditation practices that focus on allowing you to draw your power into yourself, into your physical form. Look into yoga. Do some reading on the power to create your own reality and thought manifestation. Just putting yourself in this kind of positive light will raise your self-confidence and attract the kind of people and beneficial situations that you truly want in life.
Be well, Hannah!