Mothering Twins, Healing the Self

Kelley, I’m a single mom of six-year-old twin girls, whom I adore. Lately I’ve been feeling overwhelmed with single motherhood. Their father is minimally involved, emotionally and financially. I’m feeling the brunt of parenthood, which is especially difficult for me at the holidays. I am on a spiritual journey which is comforting but I also would like a life partner. I’ve dated since my divorce 3 years ago but the situations have all ended disastrously. Is there anything you can tell me as far as steps I can take to find romantic love? Is that in my future? Thanks so much! G

Thanks for your note, G. Having twins myself, I understand what kind of pressure you’ve been under, and I commend your hard work. Your daughters are nearing the age to take command of their spiritual wills. From infancy (and possibly, in utero, depending on when the soul decides to enter the form) until about the age of nine, parents are custodians of their children’s spiritual wellbeing. Ideally this means caretaking them not just physically, emotionally, and mentally, but also in how they manifest their souls into form, helping them stand in their power, to speak their truth, to connect with All Things, ect, so that as they emerge spiritually independent in the earth plane they go forward confidently, whole, and well. At six, your daughters know they are spiritual beings and are at the point of identifying themselves as individuals with unique life purposes and desires. You, particularly as a single mother of twins, expend a lot of your energy helping them accomplish these desires. You still hold much of their grounding for them and serve as their spiritual and energetic protector—and will for a few more years. This level of soul parenting takes a toll on your personal freedom, literally by forcing you to be more in your lower chakras.

Monument to the Single Mother by Elca Branman

My sense is that you are a fairly balanced person, elementally speaking. Some people are naturally more in their upper chakras, some in their lower ones, some strike a nice balance throughout. I don’t feel that you were upended by pregnancy and new motherhood by a radical energy shift in that way (women not used to being in their lower chakras are a bit shell-shocked from that alone, postpartum). What I see is that you have cared for two new little ones alone, and that has depleted you energetically. All women experience this depletion to some degree after every birth, just as all women are naturally more in their lower chakras the first few years of their children’s lives. The lower chakras are the earthly chakras. They make us very aware of our surroundings, of tactile senses, of the drive to protect, hunt, create space… as Nature intended. In other words, it’s the state of being exactly opposite that of seeking new soul love.

Ideally when we’re allowing a soul partner to enter, we’re in our best, most balanced shape, etherically, and on all levels. Realistically, we want such a partner, regardless of circumstance. Romantic love is available to you, G; however, other things need to come first. Your life force is discombobulated from all it’s been through and it’s not attracting the kind of partner you crave. Until you get a bit more energetic support for yourself, it can’t. At present, you attract suitors who resonate with the erratic energy of the last few years, and their behaviour toward you reflects that. You must address the fatigue that single motherhood has introduced to your life force, preferably through some form of chakra balancing or energy work. I don’t see any particular problematic area, just a general lethargy that needs revitalizing. You need this for yourself, but also, without standing in your power as fully as you can, your daughters won’t learn to, and you won’t attract your best match in a soul love. Take time to focus healing energy and work on yourself with a trusted practitioner, and consider it a reward well earned. The benefits will be a more empowered you, daughters modeling a dazzling female lead, and your pick of soulful equals in love.