Emotional Submission

I am a 33-year old mother of 2 pre-teen boys. Last year my boyfriend and I ended a 3-year relationship that had included our opening a business together. He is 50 years old and we have started seeing each other again. We can’t seem to stay away from each other. When we were together I often felt that we had a connection from another life. We broke up twice in the 3 years we were together. I have to admit that I enjoy the comfort and the wooing that he surrounds me with, though at times I feel somewhat smothered by his love, which seems to be more than what I feel. I keep wondering what are we doing…I love him and he loves me but I have a rough time seeing him in my long term future. Though at the moment, the thought of a serious relationship makes me feel like I can’t breathe. He seems to be ready to wait for me. Should I just put an end to the lover part of it and keep a friendship? Also, is there a way to take some of your workshops online because I live in Canada and can’t get to you. ~E~

Thank you for your note, E. It doesn’t happen often that I see the spiritual manifestation of the object of the question, rather than the poser of the question. However, when I ask your guides for insight to share with you, I see a soul aspect of the man in question, rather than one of you. I see this aspect on his knees brushing up crumbs into a dustpan, and he’s quite intent on completing this task for someone else–it is not of his own initiative that he is doing it. However, it is your guides who give commentary on what I’m shown. They indicate that this is a very old pattern for him, submissive by means of feeling that he owes some part of himself or his service to someone. I do not know who that original someone is. The emphasis is not on the personality, but on the pattern of submission, which he has carried into the present as emotional submission/doting. That pattern of emotional submission is what is turning you off, not a lack of feeling for him. The indication I have from your guides is that if he can resolve that pattern, he will have better emotional boundaries in giving and taking, and you won’t feel smothered. When you no longer feel smothered, you will be able to respond to his authentic Self, not a karmic pattern that happens to be very triggering for you. Being lulled into the emotional comfort zone that he provides keeps you from being true to yourself, and THAT is the real point of focus. This dynamic is in a way drawing out lesser qualities in both of you. It is not the best foot forward for either of you. However, you can’t hinge your healing and growth on what he, or anyone else does, or perhaps, doesn’t do. He may never realize this pattern in his behaviour, and that’s ok. We are each on our own paths. Independent of him (or others) you have to base your healing on yourself, and stand in who you are. There is a delicate boundary between stepping into who you truly are at the cost of losing relationships around you, and realizing when someone else’s lack of being authentic interferes with *your* ability to grow. We can’t just ditch everyone who seems to move us in directions we don’t want to go, or most of us would remain perpetually alone. Ultimately our souls choose the lessons we need, and most often those lessons come in challenging relationships. Sometimes the lesson is in knowing when to step away from someone, and sometimes the lesson is in seeing how those challenging relationships foster your growth. It isn’t about him being overbearing or possibly not feeling the same for each other, but about if he can be on his unique path, and you continue to grow on yours, together. When I see a soul aspect of you, it is incredibly empowered and assured. Connect with this part of yourself. In your meditative space, ask your soul what is right for you to do in this relationship. Ask what action affirms your authentic Self, where this relationship is concerned. Because when you realize that you have everything you need within and stand in your authentic Self, the confusion about this man will resolve.

To note about my workshops and classes–I do not at this time teach them online or over distance. The techniques of journeying really require personal attention and the sacred space that results from communing souls. I do travel to do workshops, where there is a willing host to organize an event. I also do some distance work FOR others. Please feel free to email me with any inquiries, and I hope that we can meet sometime, E! Be well!