What am I not Seeing?

Question: Hello Kelley ~ I am a 45 year old female (8/26), living in the Detroit area and have been unemployed for the last year and cannot seem to get a break. It’s been a very difficult last year with family issues, having who I thought was my best and oldest friend completely discard me (along with other ‘friends’ who have not truly been there in these difficult times), having a financial strain and along with it absolutely no romantic relationship. I may have made some poor decisions on moving a couple of times that led me to this point and this is not the city that I had planned on living in again. It has been a difficult five years, with the last year (4/2004 to current) being the worst. I do believe that everything happens for a reason, and have tried to learn from my past errors and remain open to possibilities, but things seem to stay dormant. Why has it been so difficult for me? Why can I not seem to get employed or meet someone to form a relationship? What am I not seeing? ~ Thanks and Best, Eliana

Thanks for your note, Eliana. I don’t think it is about what you are not seeing. This stagnation is about what you are not grieving. You have pushed yourself incredibly hard with little or no break, and have given no deeper regard for just how painful things have been, and how much this era has changed you as a person. I’m not suggesting you haven’t felt pain, but that you have not dealt with it in such a way as to give a voice and to let it move through and beyond you. Your method of coping has been very active: doing, fixing, solving. All of those are fine, and show your true champion spirit. Your nature is to get up however bruised and battered, and still make sure everyone has a good breakfast. Remember that for every champion out there fighting the good fight is an inner reserve tending the fire. Your fire tender needs attention now. When I ask her what she carries for you, and what you need to acknowledge about her, she says, “Rage. Hurt. Humiliation.” These shadow feelings have been the motivation for the improvements you are trying to make in your life. Acting out of this dark well has stunted your ability to move into free will. You have to release this deeper grief, so that you can make choices not from anger and feelings of betrayal, but from your higher awareness and truth. Take the time that you need to express these feelings as emotions released. Whatever process you need to go through to release them, to recapitulate them in their entirety–writing them down longhand (including the names, situations and events that go along with them), all of your feelings, the entire chronology, thank your champion and your fire tender, then let those emotions be taken away on the smoke of the pages your burn. It doesn’t help you to hold on to them; and letting go can free you immensely to feel better, and create what you want in life around you.

I do feel that you are not in a geographical area that is well suited to you. You thrive best in a small city, where you can feel both the pulse of life, and that of Nature. Tapping into both of those rhythms helps you connect with yourself.

Be well!

What a Girl Wants

Question: Dear Kelley ~ I’m Sadia from Pakistan. I’ve read your column on Bridgett’s site. I like it. I would be grateful if you would help me out. My d.o.b is 13th Jan 1985. I’m going through a lot in life. I lost my dad 7 years back. At the age of about 11 I found out that I was adopted. There’s a guy who I’ve been with for about 4 years. We fell in love, but there were a lot of family issues involved. He had to marry another girl. I was kinda devastated but didn’t show it. In fact I encouraged him to marry her. Now the situation is that things are not going well – they fight a lot. There are compatibility problems that may lead to divorce. I want to know is there any chance for us to get back together, as we still love each other but don’t show it. Will wait for your reply. Thanx~ Sadia

Thank you for your note, Sadia. When I ask to see your relationship to this man, I see 3 masculine relationships in your life all tangled up. I see an aspect of you with a cord coming from your solar plexus up into the sky, attached to three different men who are very comfortable and benevolent masculine archetypes for you. Two of those archetypes are paternal and one of them is this man. The image is of you standing on the ground with these three male “spirit kites” connected to you, but so tangled together that none of them can fly. It feels as though you were very close to your father, and a great deal of your security was in him and not in yourself. As a result of that, you haven’t let him go since his death, so that he can transition to the next part of his path, or so that you can transition into the next part of yours. This reluctance to let him go and develop your own masculine “fatherly” side has presented a stagnation in connecting with other males in your life–lovers, friends, family…. I work with the cords a bit until each separates into its own cord connected to you. Two of the kites disappear, until you are left only with a cord connecting you to your father. The aspect of you voluntarily cuts the cord to him, and your father passes on to Spirit very peacefully. As he does, your aspect is so happy that she dances. Your father is still with you as a spiritual guide, there to help you stand on your own.

My feeling about this man is that you can choose to pursue him, but that given releasing your father’s spirit and as a result balancing out how you give and receive masculine energy with other males in your life, you will find this man to be a great deal more needy and clingy than what you really want in a lover. Your sense of him will change. He seems to need a lot of healing and balancing of his own energy, especially after the dissolution of his marriage. He will be very egocentric in working out his feelings of low self-worth, and in discerning the need to stand in his own truth regarding what he really wants in life. He may even be hostile towards you. My feeling is that you will be quickly (or already are) over this guy, and the more comfy you feel being your own masculine stability will tire of his inconsistency. Be careful of catering to the habit of need, when what you truly want is balanced love.

Be well, Sadia.

The Legacy of Helping

Hello Kelley, I am 44 years old and I just reunited with the father of my 2 teenage daughters. We divorced in 1989 after 4 turbulent years of marriage and he quickly remarried when he got another woman pregnant. Two years ago, he came to me and let me know that he had never stopped loving me and had, in fact, been unable to love his current wife adequately as a result. He stated that his marriage to her had been a 12-year sham and he wanted me back in his life. During those years, he treated me pretty poorly as if he hated me. After 2 years of “negotiating” the terms of a new relationship between us, we signed a common law marriage agreement and got a house together. We celebrated our reunion by taking our 2 daughters to London for a Christmas celebration. Everything was going wonderfully until we got to London, where he acted horribly the whole trip, ruined it for everyone, and blamed it on me. We got home on Dec 23, and by Christmas Day he packed all his clothes and walked out on the family. He returned the next day, demanding that I move out and stating that he was no longer interested in a relationship. He has suddenly resurrected all the old patterns that drove us apart before. I believe that leaving the relationship is in order and I seek understanding that will allow me to either go or stay with compassion, rather than hatred and bitterness. Thank you, Melissa

Hi Melissa. Thank you for your kind words. My understanding from your spirit guides is that you had a relationship with this man in the past, and a lot of his issues stem from even before that past. But in this past, which you shared with him, he committed suicide, and you carry a lot of guilt leftover from the dynamic in that life. He is still perpetuating a cycle of self-destruction in this life, and you have still carried your guilt from the other life experience, compounded by events that have occurred in this life to turn that screw even tighter. That is the context I am shown for the basic premise of energy between you.

The next moment I am moved to is the death point of you in that past life. She hesitates at the point that she “should” naturally crossover. I ask her the reason for her hesitation, and she tells me that it’s her fault that he killed himself. I ask her what makes her think that, and she recounts to me how she had an affair, which badly hurt him, and drove him over the edge. She is oblivious to his choice in how he dealt with his pain. I ask her how she dealt with her guilt over having the affair and his suicide at the point of death when it actually occurred. She tells me that she was born into human form again to find him and make it up to him. the thing is, her heart wasn’t really in it. Her motives were based in guilt, and not true desire to elevate this relationship higher, or to be true to herself. this aspect of you realizes this now, but she did not at the time. As we stand at that point of her death now, I ask her what choice she is going to make this time. She tells me that she needs to move on in her spiritual path, and *if* she can help him, it will be from a spiritual realm, and not in the dichotomy of the Earth plane. She is very grateful for the opportunity you have given her to pause and change the direction in her part of your life path. To that end, she moves on to Spirit, guilt-free, no less. She is holding her power well, which means that you are, as well.

I see this shift in her moving on (essentially ending the karmic pattern you have been feeling with him) as a bit disorienting to you, in your present, at first. You have had strong energetic, and in some ways, cellular, ties to this man. Having carried guilt over lifetimes has weakened your immune system some, and your energetic body. Be gentle with yourself. For one, you have been through enough with this guy already, that you deserve to just take a few days to yourself and energetically regroup. I see work being really hectic for you right now, and not helpful in that regard. Things that you normally take in stride are a bit more challenging, until you can redistribute your energy in a pattern that is based in the present, and functional to where you are on your path NOW. It also feels like you may even come to have LESS feelings for this man now, and not be so connected to his actions, his words, or the drama of breakup. In reality, you’ve done this a few times already with him, and not just in this life. But this detachment I see in you is not from having been worn down, but from true genuine “objectivity.” I’m not saying that you don’t have opinions or feelings about what has led up to your present, but they just aren’t going to have the hold over you that they have prior. To that end, I don’t see bitterness or hatred looming largely for you. You are aware enough of your own process to be able to let those last few tugs of those feelings pass through without them getting trapped..

You are a wise woman, with powerful allies. That you can have gone through this experience with this man and want to release it on a high level speaks well to who you are and what you are capable of. Be well, Melissa.

A Starseed from Way Back

Dear Kelley, I have a health related question. Since last year (2004), I have had 3 occurrences of a very bad rash that has been cropping up on my body. I have been to doctors, allergists, dermatologists and they all labeled it as “contact dermatitis,” meaning I had an allergic reaction to something that I ate, came in contact with, etc. The rash doesn’t seem to follow any type of pattern and each time it has cropped up on different parts of my body. My question is that I’m wondering if the cause is more emotional/stress related than an actual allergic reaction to something? I’m wondering if something is going on where I’m bringing this on myself. Thanks for your input!!

Thanks for your note, Jana. You have not brought this on yourself. Free yourself of the frustration that has led you down that line of thinking, cos it’s not a factor. This is very much a contact disturbance, but not in the way that your doctors have indicated.

When I approach your guides, I immediately break out into a rash all over my arms. A hand reaches out to pull me along a wooded path, and I see my benefactor is a dark-skinned woman wearing a very plain dark dress, with a cream colored binding covering her head and hair. The further she leads me into the woods, this rash spreads over my body. Every leaf that brushes against me, the air that I take in, the pressure of earth under my feet… all of these external things contribute to my surface unrest. The woman finally leads me to a hut with a fire burning in front of it. The area is deep in the dark woods, nothing and no one near for miles, and it is a freezing cold night. Oblivious to the atmosphere, she sits me down and coats me in this pink plaster-like substance to soothe the rash, and I realize that she is your guide. I ask her where she is from, and she gives me this huge wild woman teethy grin. It strikes me then that she is from the southern hemisphere, and we are distinctly in the woods of the north western United States, if not Canada. Nothing about her meager dwelling or well-kept surroundings would indicate that she is not from this area. But her clothing, skin, and energy are clearly South American. When I ask her again where she is from, she points to the stars, and I understand what is causing your discomfort being on this planet.

I ask her to tell me the story of you, and she begins to feed me a warm broth as she talks. She speaks a very strange language made up of tones not words, but tells me that she is most certainly not from the area in which she currently dwells, but that she has adapted fully to live there and do her work. She tells me that you have not adapted to your new atmosphere. When she attempts to explain where you are really from, I don’t have the sense that it is a planet different from Earth; rather, a *dimension* different than our comprehended Universe. Determining your source is not so easy as following a ley line from here to a star and recording the path. You are from a very intricate, and yet somehow incredibly simplistic life force that is not very used to matter, and not very fond of the level of complication incurred by life on this bluegreen ball. You are not used to barriers of any kind-on your ability to create and manifest, or even that of skin to attempt to “hold you all in one place.”

So why did you sign up for it if it’s getting under your skin this badly? Morganna, as your guide is now identifying herself, tells me that you have not incarnated on this planet, or anywhere, very often. Being in skin is not very comfortable to you, and that “limitation” has created other disturbances in your form off and on through this life. I ask her point blank your reason for coming here, and she gets up, walking around her abode, but is silent. I ask her why she came to this place from her home, and she whirls around, nothing but eager to talk, and she tells me that she is an anchor, a placeholder, so that the others have a place to come when it is their time. I know that she is not talking about a South American home, but her star ancestors, your contemporaries.

You have come here to pave a way for others who are from your source. In other words, you came as a scout, to find a place to create a sacred space for some work to be done. Others of your star lineage are coming to help you hold this space and do this work. The rash has evolved from you not wanting to “adapt” to life here. You have interpreted adaptation as having to sacrifice your higher abilities, your starness in order to create this sacred space. There’s been anger around this, frustration, sheer annoyance from feeling that 3D limits your truth. The thing is, upon coming here, part of your truth became 3D, which means part of your power did, part of your beauty… You haven’t held this dimension in very high regard at all, which means you have not held part of yourself in high regard. To you, 3D is a dirty auto repair shop with greasy parts and tools lying everywhere, with few mechanics who really know what the part and tools can do. You’re a mechanic, and to release this rash, you’re going to have to use those 3D tools. A big part of it just respecting 3D space, and not seeing it as less, or as some unidentifiable crud that’s going to rub off and make you itch. Being able to honor this plane will only strengthen your ability to create and hold space for your tribe to come and do its work. I’m not talking about tree hugger kind of admiration and respect-you already have a fond rapport with Nature. This is about respecting form, remembering that all form is spirit manifest, and remembering in that knowledge there is no difference. Home is you, Jana. Be well!

Power Beyond the Killing Times

Dear Kelley, I am in a bit of a dilemma about love, life, and my identity right now. I feel as if my life is stuck in a program where I am doomed to repeat relationship patterns. My boyfriend of six years and I just recently decided to give each other some time and space. We have a daughter together and I feel like we are stuck in a rut unable to grow and mesh well with each other. I am not in love with him and we are so different. Sometimes it seems our only purpose is to antagonize each other. With my love dilemma, I met a man with whom I worked and we had a lot of fun laughing, working, and talking with each other. He revealed his attraction for me the day I met him but I didn’t follow him up. Also, I feel ungrounded, unable to give form to my creativity with art, and unable to make sense of what I truly need to do to get on the right path. Thank you. Sincerely, Cassandra Shannon

Thank you for your note, Cassandra. Initially, I am led to commend you for having the insight and constitution to know when a relationship needs to be over, and to make it so. You have very clear intuition on knowing what is right for you, what you need, and what you want. Give yourself the due validation of knowing that as complicated as things seem, having those few kernels of information puts you well ahead in the grander scheme. Your guides indicate to me that your heart is full of love. You have a natural affinity to the beautiful things in life-lots of Venus, feminine qualities, that are not being expressed. This facet of your nature coupled with feeling thrown into a very patriarchal system (paying bills, where to live, how to survive) creates a significant conflict for you. You will not be comfortable doing things in that patriarchal way.

A present aspect of you dressed in smart shoes and a business suit comes to me, and she is holding what looks like a thick bright blue glowing bangle in her cupped palms. It rests in her hands, yet hovers just above her skin at the same time.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” she asks.

“It is,” I reply. “What is it?” “My soul,” she says, filled with admiration. I admire it with her for a bit, then ask, “Do you often take it into your hands and hold it?”

“Yes. I really like it that way.”

I move behind her and situate the soul back into All of her. “How does it feel when your soul is all throughout you?”

“Completely powerless,” she replies, somewhat deadpan, as she turns to face me.

This is where the breakdown between your love of beauty and the denser qualities of day-to-day life clash. You do not feel that you can engage in the stringent duties of providing for yourself and your daughter from a soulful place. Part of you subscribes to the idea that it HAS to be hard, that it HAS to be a stretch beyond what feels comfortable and confident to you. The moving and shaking you have to do right now may feel uncomfortable, but not because it is stacked against you. It’s uncomfortable only because you don’t see yourself as powerful as you really are. Part of you does not believe that you can approach the Universe from your human vantage point on this planet and remain a beautiful light soul who can both affect the system with her wisdom and love, all the while paying the bills, and still be a tool for raising yourself and those around you to a higher, more lovely existence. You don’t really want to climb corporate ladders or wear smart shoes. So stop putting your energy in the fear that you are or have missed out on something there. Your solutions and ability are far more artful and creative than that. Your means of expressing yourself and being employed are going to be off the beaten path, and that is where you are going to have to look to find them. Certainly you can take classes in your interests here and there, but it doesn’t have to be a degree program to give you the knowledge to improve your skills and your self-image. You revere your soul for the awesome entity that it is, yet you do not feel you can bring that life force through into your mundane. There is a sense that you will tarnish your soul if you did, as well as the knowledge that you are intentionally not acting on all of your power.

When I ask that aspect of you what happened that made her feel she cannot honor her soul on this planet I have a glimpse that the last time she did was in the killing times, when the mystical powers of women were punished by death. More specifically, when the Divine Feminine was being distanced from us. It’s totally understandable, and not uncommon. She cries as she tells me that Before, she was a wizard (I think literally) at working with flowers. She has a deep connection with not only their aesthetic qualities, but of the healing qualities their presence and consumption brings. If you are unfamiliar with Bach Flower Essences, I highly recommend doing a bit of research into them and see if it jars something for you-not just in terms of remembering healing skills that you have to share with the world, but as a possibility to see if they could help you through this transitory time in your life. This aspect of you responded to the threat of living her Truth by energetically withholding it from this realm, although she herself chose to continue returning to it.

You are no longer satisfied with this “soulless” pattern. For you to be happy in relationships, with your work in this realm (both career and personal), you have to approach everything you do from the light of your soul. I have the sense this is no newsflash for you, and that you have an idea of what this means in literal corners of your life. On a very simplistic level, begin by honoring the beauty you have in and around you. Do small lavish things, like honoring nature and your connection to water. You need to be in and around water. It balances you and makes you feel comforted. These things seem like intrusions on a busy schedule or a stressed mind, but they are exactly what you need. Your daughter also shares many of your qualities of artistry and love of beauty. She is a semi-conductor of energy with a blatant disregard of the status quo, though she is dealing with her own karma of remembering that Truth. She can teach you a lot in that regard. As well, your claiming of your own soul will enable her to do the same as she grows up in this culture. Truly address that you have been making decisions and choices based out of fear and not out of your Truth, and the sources of the fear will diminish. Call your soul home, and mean it. Provide a clear sunny space in you for her dwell, and she will take care of the rest. The bills will be paid. Home emerges strong and stable. Relationships that sustain and encourage your soul’s growth prevail. Your agreements with yourself and the Universe demand nothing less. This seemingly crazy transition phase is the turn around you have asked for. The empowerment it brings is what you are capable of. Welcome back.

Divine Union of the Self

This is for my friend, Linda. She’s been involved with a man for about 15-16 years, and even though she keeps thinking she should just walk completely away, they can’t leave each other. When she first saw him there were no sparks nothing except that she felt sorry for him a bit because he looked so beaten down. Sometimes this relationship has been so very good and helpful to one or both of them, and other times it has been very destructive and harmful. But always it seems to keep somehow moving her in a direction she was meant to go. Do you feel he will always be in this life with her? When she gets an image of her future with someone, it is always him. Does she actively do something about either ending or changing the relationship? For Linda.

Thank you for your note. The inconsistency you speak of regarding on again off again feelings about this man are evident immediately as I journey. An aspect of Linda, dressed impeccably in a dark dress suit, air of authority and class pervading her every gesture, is sitting in a dingy bar. She carries a drink and moves from bar, table to table, talking with various guys, being her incredibly charming and amazing self. She seems greatly out of place in these surroundings, and although her confident allure would seem to seduce any of the bar’s inhabitants, not one of the men is giving her the time of day. After a few minutes of observing her, I go sit with her at a table. As soon as I do, she lights up and grabs my hand. I am immediately aware of a feminine archetypal imbalance that is somehow affecting how she comes across to men, and in how she holds her own power. She, for all practical purposes, is so focused on holding her masculine power, that she eclipses her feminine power. As a result of that she’s not attracting men as she would like, but she doesn’t understand why.

I tell her that Linda in waking has asked me to learn more about her relationship with Tom, and she releases my hand rather curtly, and says, “O him.” She stands abruptly and goes back over to the bar. I ask her to talk to me about him, and she tells me there is nothing to talk about. I tell her that if she will tell me her concern about him, Linda in waking can resolve whatever the issues around him is, and she won’t have to get angry just from his name being brought up.

She’s a little annoyed with me at first, but then this aspect of Linda tells me that Linda in waking holds on to Tom, a guy who isn’t really sure of his place in the world, because that is the closest she has come to touching her own feminine power. There is a real love/hate thing happening with regard to feminine power in this aspect. Not only does this Linda see the feminine quality of power as weak, as she chooses not to embody that in herself, but she recognizes the need for it somewhere in her life, so she tries to incorporate it with frail men. This isn’t just about the quality of man she chooses, but it is about the dynamic of choosing frail men, as well. In other words, there is a self-fulfilled victim-like cycle happening here, and this Linda is thriving on that feminine soap opera drama these relationships bring her. In the short term they feed her feminine lack, but in the long term bring her masculine side that much more out of balance. And she knows she has Tom, whom she perceives as a sort of whipping boy, yet here she is at this bar full of men ‘beneath her status’, looking for a more suitable match. She knows it isn’t working. It’s in these bar moments that Linda in waking knows she needs and wants better. This cycle isn’t about Tom, or even that relationship. It’s about a woman who doesn’t fully hold her part of the Divine Feminine, and to compensate for that looks for her feminine power on an ego level in “broken” men.

When I ask this aspect of Linda what she really wants, she cries and tells me that she wants to feel ok being a little girl, that she never felt like she had an energetic opportunity to grow up as a female in this realm. For whatever reason, she at a very young age abandoned the part of her life force that is feminine, and developed her masculine energy instead. I don’t sense a trauma around this, just a very subtle decision to improve self however necessary for success and setting all of life, including relationships, up to meet this end. The choice was made with the highest intent, though short-sighted in how it would affect her Whole. This Linda indicates having gone through all the regular physical and emotional transitions that females do, but not truly connected to the power and spiritual initiations those experiences held. Puberty was empty. Menstruation onset was routine if not intrusive. Moving into dating and early relationships was a tribulation and even then not attracting the attention she really wanted. Seeing herself and her life as having been the experiences of a Goddess was missing, and still is.

What is exemplary is that this Linda has mastered holding masculine power, albeit not manifesting it in the most healthy way. Nonetheless, she has mastered it and in realizing that can hold that power better, and use the foundation from it to support bringing in the feminine balance. In essence, this Linda has never attracted a “strong” man, because she already was that for herself. But the men she has attracted have reflected her own lack of feminine power development. They have been reflecting back to her the qualities of herself that she has most wanted to change.

Part of this imbalance will shift just by Linda acknowledging her divinity as a significant feminine creature. Not just to validate the experiences of her life as one who has grown of her own accord, one who has met her goals, etc, but that she is a feminine force on this planet who possesses the ability to root here as a being who honors her masculine and feminine power. Some time spent in her own meditative approaches with the focus of bringing the Divine Feminine into her life force, waking her own femininity and letting that move through her form will raise her wellbeing, overall. As well, some chakra work, such as fire breathing and yoga, will really draw that kundalini energy upward and inward. Her clarity of thought will improve, as well as remove the need for bar episodes. Linda knows what she wants, and working with herself mind, body, soul, and emotion to bring that power in will manifest it. Doing this kind of work, when she looks in human mirrors, she will see the parts of herself and that person that are well, that have managed to find each other to share that wellbeing. Be well!

Death Opens Doorways

Dear Kelley, My husband died a little over a year ago. He was ill but his death was unexpected and was very traumatic for me and our daughters. Our marriage had been strained for many years before his death and now I am dealing with some guilt issues even though my conscious mind knows that I was not the only one to blame for our marriage problems. I had an on again, off again affair with a man for about 5 years. When I first met this man, I fell in love with him at first sight. He does not have the same feelings for me and never has. We e-mailed each other several times and he acted like he was still interested in maintaining our “friendship” . I told him to just come right out and tell me that it was over so I could get some closure. He said nothing. I feel like I have lost two men that I love at once, not to mention feeling like a fool. I just don’t know how to get over this. Heartbroken and Lost

Thank you for your note, H & L. I am met by your High Self, who feels somewhat distanced from you right now. She tells me that this is not the time that I can help reconnect the two of you, and that the man with whom you have been involved off and on is very much into drama with women. He gets something out of pulling their emotional chains, so to speak, and it’s a pattern he has carried through many relationships, including his current one. I also see that he is manifesting heart-related health problems from his actions. I inquire about how you became entwined in his drama pattern, but your High Self redirects me to talk with your husband, who is really angry. The upper right side of his body and part of his head are completely black, indicating blocks and wounds, and he is railing at me. After we have a few words he calms down to a very level place, where he expresses being very sad at how things turned out between you, taking responsibility for his part in the outcome. He tells me that he wasn’t very emotionally present for you for a long time, and is very apologetic about it. He says, “There was a time when I could just walk away from anything to be with her, but I let myself become too involved with how badly things were going.” In other words, he reached a point that he would rather have the control over and comfort of sickness than to confront the direction of things in your relationship. Doing so would have challenged him to deal with insecurities that he just didn’t want to own. He shows me some long-standing emotional issues that he apparently buried deeply, and never really talked about with anyone in detail. The combination of his illness and the divergence of your paths were sort of chicken-and-egg, where his emotional wounds were concerned. It’s hard to tell the real origin, or which struck the hardest. Suffice it to say, he had a whole other world going on inside that he just wasn’t willing to deal with interpersonally. In a way, your forthrightness to have an affair was sort of courageous to him, because you at least tried to externally make some waves of change where he was unwilling. You are right to realize that his issues are not yours to carry. How he dealt with issues in his life was his choice. He really shut down after a while, and left you and your daughters fairly alone. After telling me these things, your husband goes into the setting sun very easily, not entirely at peace with his issues and the events of his life, but completely at peace with beginning that process. He has moved on in the best sense one can.

It’s time for you to do the same, in every part of your life possible. An aspect of you comes then, who is weeping. She’s also really pissed off. While there is the sense of having lost two dear loves at once, there is also the sense of having given up a huge amount of her power to these men who did not give much back. She goes up for healing very easily, and returns with seemingly quite a bit of conviction to live well. Her message to you is to “live the life she thinks she can’t have”. The catch is, you have to do this consciously; conscientiously. It’s not going to just happen. This aspect of yourself, and I feel many other aspects, guides and spiritual allies, are completely at your disposal to assist you in doing that. You really need to establish a strong committed practice of spiritual acknowledgement of yourself, most specifically, and the world around you, as well as learn to interact with these spiritual allies. However you pray or meditate-now’s the time to brush up on some new skills and insights in that department. The constricting bubble you feel is your life is self-imposed at this point. Set the intention to step out of it, even if it means releasing loved ones in your path whose choices keep you from yourself. There is nothing and no one in your way right now. The wounds of your heart are already healing. The life you want really is out there for you, with your soul, to find. You shall soon see that you are already here. Be well!

Do I have Spirit Guides?

Dear Kelley, Since 1999 I have been “off track” with my life. The pillars of career, relationship, and finances have crumbled away. Now, I am in my prime and I’m really desiring to do meaningful work in this life, have the experience of true love with a man, and be “in” this world. Do I have guides? Who are they and how can I let them know I need their help – now!! These years of bankruptcy, unavailable men, and jobs of little money and no fulfillment of my skills cannot be why I am here. I really want to contribute in a meaningful way. Do you have a light or hit on a direction for me? Thank you! “Jo”

Hi Jo! Thanks for your note, and sharing your lovely sense of humor =) When I ask to meet your spirit guide, I am led to an active volcano on an island. Sensing the energy of this volcano as very feminine, it indicates to me that she is Pele, Hawaiian fire goddess who shaped the surface of the land (pretty powerful stuff). There is the quite obvious fire aspect of her power, which I sense as an intense ability to create what she needs for herself. What surprises me though, is that she also has a very profound relationship with air, in that she very freely moves her energy wherever it is needed. More than a factor in creation, she knows when to relax and float on the breeze. You have not had enough of that luxurious rest in your life, and it is time to provide it for yourself. The volatile combination of fire and air feels to be a quite poignant in the cycle of destruction and creation. We often forget that destruction IS part of creation, and in this Crone aspect of the Goddess, she is the epitome of that process. As she is your spirit guide, you embody that process. This guide is here to help you burn out the deadwood of your life and replenish it with prospering, thriving Life. Pele point blank says, “She has the ability to rise above circumstance and into herself.”

To bring her into your daily life more, she asks that you acknowledge her by lighting a candle. Spend some time regularly talking with Pele and cultivating a relationship with her. However you meditate, begin opening and holding a place for her and her energy in your life.

Give some attention to third chakra clearing. The third chakra is the point in development at which you energetically realize you are part of All Things, and honor that connection. The true harmony of that connection rests in realizing who YOU are, and in being able to stand confidently in who you are while making that observation about all of life. The third chakra is all about confidence, which is the fuel for intuition. Pele indicates you have become more withdrawn than is your nature, due to feeling used or just battered about by the world. It’s not your nature to draw in, and she shows me that doing some work on your third chakra will help you feel more confident not only about connecting with the world, but your place in it.

There is also a panda bear working with you right now. I have the sense that he is your lifelong animal guide. It may behoove you to do some reading about pandas and their energetic/spiritual influence. However, YOUR panda says that he brings you comfort, very much in that teddy bear sort of way. He loves you very much, and is intent on helping you find the line between comfort and growth, as well as between loving connection and co-dependence. It seems you have tended to be full-bore one or the other, and not observed the balance that is best for you. He is here to help you with that. Even his black and white coloring suggests balance, appropriate boundaries, yet bold sense of self. He also seems to carry an intense yet artful knowledge of ritual, that is, finding the way in which day-to-day processes and observances create a mind/body/soul connection. He seems to have a lot in store for you on that front—a very disciplined and lovely way to help you find how you spiritually relate to All Things.

He asks that you keep an image or little figurine of a panda near you, as you have a tendency to feel unsupported by the world. This memento can serve a s a reminder that you have powerful spiritual allies who are channels of Universal power, at your disposal. In your meditative space, it would be good to ask him to step into you and let you truly feel his abilities and the gifts he brings you. This merging is called shapeshifting, and is the foundation of working with animal guides.

Between these two guides you have a good bit of instruction available to you in changing the direction of your life. Both are incredibly powerful in their own way, as are you. I hope that in the work you do with them, you come to hold that power the highest way that you can, and see the results you deeply want. My best to you, Jo!

Soulful Business partners

Hi Kelley I’m considering going separate ways with my business partner of 2 years. I feel that he is feeding on my energy and is too consumed with his own interests, issues and fear for his own good. I have always been the foreman of the team, gathering the newer bigger clients and concerned with the company’s branding. I need to know whether we should part, under what circumstances, and when, so that I can forge forward. Will I also have a new partner? I still think I need to have a partner to bounce ideas off? Thanks! Nanny Eliana

Hi Nanny Eliana. It’s wonderful to hear from you again! The insight your guides are giving me into this business partnership is that it is time for this one to end. I am also getting an indication that you may not need to have a business partner as much as you think, or that the way in which you hold the space in your life to have one needs a bit of adjustment. When I ask your guides about your current partner, their reply is “He is her alibi.” The implication of that to me is there is some kind of self power that you are giving away to this man—it’s not being underhandedly stolen from you. When I examine your heart chakra with business partnerships in mind I see that it feels very empty, which indicates to me that there is a level of compassion not being brought to your business life, thought process therein, or business partnerships. In short, it appears to be a point at which you give your power away, not just to him, but in this “empty” heart space, you will do it with any business partner that you have. The feeling I get from it is that you have to somehow make your career life more spiritual. Do you keep your spiritual practices separate from your business practices? I feel that you have a well supporting spiritual personal practice that needs to take root in your career. I feel that the weakness in partnerships, or in attracting the RIGHT business partner has to do with you being able to bring your spirituality into how you hire a new partner, how you develop that relationship… even how you conduct meetings, and yourself in a work atmosphere. You can also visit Lee S Rosen Miami FL, an SEO and entrepreneur, who can give you tips about business on healthy bees. I was not given permission to do any energy work on you; rather, it is something you need to weave the threads together for yourself. You can definitely work with Webgator SEO Brisbane
or another energy worker to aid in that, but I really felt there is some need for you to work with this through your own practices for a while first. I wish you all the best in soulful business success!
Be well!

The Shape of Fear is Reality

Dear Kelley, I am 39 years old and I have been fortunate to work for five years with “Estee Lauder” before owning my own ladies high-end clothing store. I lost the store through a divorce and have not been able to find my career niche since. I have a seven year old daughter and I spent time raising her but I have been looking into opportunities and they seem to come up dead ends. What does my future hold in “business” and in “love”? Where do I go from here? What is my “Life Purpose”? With many blessings, Dawn

Hi Dawn. Thanks for your note! I must say, I can really only tell you what your present holds, and given insights to that end, you write the script for your future. For instance, let’s say that the script of your spiritual present looks something like this:


Across barren hills smoke and flames rise. Moving closer, the burning remains of a small village are evident. A woman stands just beyond the flames, wringing her hands and looking otherwise disheveled. A few feet from the woman a well-cared for infant lies in a basket, perfectly content, yet surrounded by fire and destruction.
Me: Do you know the baby?
You: Yes.
Me: Are you upset because the baby is in the fire?
You: Yes.
Me: What troubles you about the baby being in the fire?
You: That it isn’t burning.
Pan back to see that the baby is still fine.
Me: Should the baby be burning?
You: I burn when I go into the fire.
Me: Is the baby you?
You: Yes.
Me: Do you understand that if you and the baby stay together, the baby can come out of the fire, and if you later choose to go back into it, you won’t burn?

The woman reaches into the fire and picks up the infant.


Dawn, you have a dual nature to fear high stress situations, yet not be able to get out of them. When you fear them, you “burn” and seek never to return to anything resembling flames-not even for a rescue mission. When you don’t fear them, you don’t “burn”, and the resulting high from stress leaves you so entrenched in it that you refuse to bail even when you know you should. The two ends of this polarity actually indicate the same energetic thrill seeking mindset-focusing solely on running from danger so completely that you end up mentally taking it with you, and willfully dancing with it so intensely that you become it. There are some strong Post Traumatic feelings around this scenario. I don’t get a specific indication of what that post trauma is about. It could be all the turmoil you’ve dealt with in your business personal losses, or it could be a feeling that existed prior to that time, only compounded by the more recent losses of this life. Regardless, I have the feeling you recognize that addictive relationship to danger, and both the emotional high and distress it creates. This thread of bolting or totally succumbing is woven from the same source into your professional concerns, and your love life. The mentality of sticking with something until the wheels come off is not working. It is in a sense exchanging continuity of the world around you for the opportunity to manifest your true Self. In the words of your guides, “She is shaping her reality according to fear.”

I don’t have the sense that your heart is in getting back into big business, or that you want to stay with the mind-based boyfriend. Both of these choices are more based in familiarity and security than true want. I understand the fear of not wanting to try something new. The thing is, this scenario isn’t about trying on a new career, or relationship. Taking the time and steps to manifest what your soul really wants out of life is what this lull in your life is about. The new thing you are going to have to try is living for yourself and not for others, and taking the gamble to cut out the things in your life that do not support your truth-however comfortable they may be–and creating room for the things to come that support your truth and foster it to grow.

Lady, you have got it going on. You can do this with flying colors. Put the effort and emphasis into your spiritual wellbeing that you have in honing your professional skills, and your payoff will be greater than you ever imagined on every level of being. Whatever your spiritual pursuits are, put your effort into them full tilt. Look to your daughter. She is already wrestling the demand to live for others, which is an incredible imposition on her truly independent nature. She was born knowing who she is and what her soul wants. Let her inherent abilities to that end teach you, while you teach her how to refine her skills, and to have the courage to live them in a society that would rather her be afraid. Cultivating this aspect of your relationship with her is going to help you both to grow together, and more into your paths. I wish you the best, Dawn! And I’m looking forward to reading the script you write for yourself!